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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn’t be drinking?

22 replies

SnowNoMore · 04/03/2018 22:34

Not sure if IABU or not really. DH has a complicated motorway commute tomorrow leaving at 7am. I don’t think he should be drinking or at least not more than 1. He thinks I need to “get a grip” and “not be childish”. He’s not being excessive but since 8pm he’s on 3rd bottle. They are 500ml 5% vol beers. I’m not that clued up on it all tbh. Would he be over limit tomorrow for his drive?! We’re in Scotland so lower limits.

OP posts:
LeighaJ · 04/03/2018 22:37

Alcohol stays in the system much longer than you might think. I know someone who was popped for drink driving at 8 in the morning after drinking the night before, they had no idea it would still be in their system to such an extent.

Original poster
SnowNoMore · 04/03/2018 22:38

But 3 or 4 500ml 5% beers? That’ll be his argument for it being ok that it’s not much. Though now I think about it he’s driven his commute after a night out before too Hmm

OP posts:
DalekDalekDalek · 04/03/2018 22:38

I would think the amount her has drank so far is fine but I wouldn't drink more more than that now. The "complicatedness" of the trip is irrelevant, it would be the same if he was on a simple trip or even just driving down the road to the shop.

As a general rule of thumb (not accurate or relevant for everyone at all) once you stop drinking, you metabolise one unit per hour.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 04/03/2018 22:40

If he stops before 11 he should be fine

WiggyPig · 04/03/2018 22:41

It takes about an hour for each unit of alcohol to leave the body. There's about 2.5 units in each 500ml bottle so he's at 7.5 units. He needs to stop drinking at 11.30 to be certain there's no alcohol left in his system at 7am, and that doesn't include the processing already done from 8pm - 11.30pm.

When I used to work in crime I met dozens of people arrested in the morning driving after drinking the night before and though they all claimed to have had just one or two glasses of wine, they knew, and I knew, and they knew I knew, it was more like one or two bottles.

Idratherbeaunicorn · 04/03/2018 22:44

I had a friend who was banned after maybe caught drunk driving. She attended a course to have her ban reduced and 80% of the people on the course were there as they were pulled over the morning after the night before.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 04/03/2018 22:45

A quick internet search shows that 500mls of 5% beer is 2.5 units. So 3 of them is 7.5 units. So given that he has to leave at 7am if he finishes drinking around now he should be fine (we process alcohol at approximately one unit per hour)

Graphista · 04/03/2018 22:45

In Scotland, at the moment? He's being an idiot!

More likely to end up in an accident due to the weather anyway meaning more likely to be breathalysed, And as you say the limit here is pretty much zero, he has no idea how long it will take to metabolise out of his system.

In addition he is risking not only his own safety but that of others - like my aunt - hit by a drunk driver as a child and permanently disabled as a result, or my friend who lost her healthy unborn child at 8.5 months pregnant again due to a drunk driver.

Please stop him from driving under the influence.

19lottie82 · 04/03/2018 22:46

He will be fine. You’re being a bit OTT.

Original poster
SnowNoMore · 04/03/2018 22:47

Okay thank you. I’d imagine he’ll stop before 11:30ish as he’ll come up to bed then. I tend to be cautious and feel he drinks too much in general so it’s not easy to bring my worries up to him without him making me sound irrational. He said yesterday he wouldn’t drink on Sunday as had work Monday so was surprised now he was drinking and I got worried he’ll get stopped. Or obviously more importantly cause an accident. And point taken about the complicated ness of the journery not being relevant

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 04/03/2018 22:47

Graphista I’m sorry to hear about your personal experices, but based on what he has drank, the Op’s DH won’t be over the limit in the morning.

Graphista · 04/03/2018 22:48

The one unit per hour is an average and not predictable. Not everyone's metabolism behaves the same.

Graphista · 04/03/2018 22:50

Lottie what's your knowledge and experience in this area? We know nothing of his size, medical history. In Scotland the limit is set such that it's pretty much zero - it's not actually zero to allow for the small amount of alcohol in the bloodstream created by other processes.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 04/03/2018 22:51

Try this calculator

morning-after.org.uk/?page_id=82

Original poster
SnowNoMore · 04/03/2018 22:51

OH graphista in so sorry about your aunt and friend that’s shocking. It’s never the idiots that are drunk driving that are injured or worse it’s the innocent parties.

Hmm I’ll mention to him again I think. I’m not comfortable with it really ... maybe I am being ott. And he’s scotland now with the snow just clearing on his route.

OP posts:
SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 04/03/2018 22:54

I didn't know there was a lower limit in Scotland!!

Graphista · 04/03/2018 22:55

Even that calculator (with a ton of disclaimers) is saying 9.5 hours?

RavenBrow · 04/03/2018 22:58

That is quite excessive for most people for a work night so you are right to show concern. 3-4 units is the guideline for healthy daily limits.
It's not just about how quickly the alcohol is processed, I could drink 10 units starting at 8pm and start driving the next morning...the alcohol would be metabolised but pretty sure I'd have some after effects! Namely concentration and reaction time reduced.
Just best to keep it to 1-2 drinks if you want to be alert and safe.

Graphista · 04/03/2018 22:59

dontriskit.info/drink-driving/law/

See point 7.

Softlycatchy:

www.mygov.scot/drink-drive-limit-scotland/

RavenBrow · 04/03/2018 23:01

Forget calculators, go common sense. Alcohol disrupts sleep also, causing tiredness, irritability, impulsiveness.

Original poster
SnowNoMore · 04/03/2018 23:16

Thank you for all the info and links. I think now my gut reaction is right really in that he shouldn’t be drinking. I’ll have to find a way to speak to him properly without him jumping down my throat. He drinks a lot more than I’m comfortable with on weekends in general. It’s not that he’s drunk as such though he statues up really late he is often up before me with the kids on the weekend!!! It’s his health. There can be 10-20 bottles in recycling each week lately. Maybe I’m being dull as I don’t drink since having children (been too busy bf or pregnant!) also now I’m thinking about it we often go out Saturdays in car after he’s been up late on a Friday. He seems complete sober to me so I’ve never thought it wasn’t appropriate but going by these links it’s probably not on. Really not looking forward to this conversation

OP posts:
Graphista · 04/03/2018 23:18

If he's not seeming drunk but is drinking too much entirely possible his tolerance is building which is a whole other issue.

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