I probably am bu but I need to get it off my chest

[Ownerofalittlechimp]

As above I’m more than likely bu but it drives me mad that my dh just either ignores my requests or doesn’t use common sense with simple tasks.

I will add before anything else that I’m sleep deprived & a little stir crazy from being stuck indoors all weekend so not in the best frame of mind to be reasonable.

Ds2 11mths has a D&V bug & only wants to be held, mainly by me or much screaming occurs. Dh went to the supermarket & I asked him to get veg pouches for ds2 (on HV advice as not wanting to take solids at min). Specifically told him which ones & no fruit as may make worse (i wrote brand/variety down for him). So he gets 100% fruit & the most acidic combos to boot.

Made ds1 lunch for tomorrow & asked him to put on a plate as lunch box still in dishwasher cycle. He’s shoved the whole lot in an old veg bag all together, so wrap, cucumber sticks, tomato chunks, berries & pineapple. Now just a soggy mess that can’t be eaten so needs making again.

Loaded dishwasher yesterday to be helpful except he hasn’t he literally just thrown plates & bowls in, breaking 4 in the process. Apparently there must be something wrong with the dishwasher for this to have happened, nothing at all to do with him shot putting the cereal bowls in at all

Very cathartic to get that all out even if I am bu!

YANBU. Deliberate incompetence in order not to be asked again with not a single fuck given about you of DC.

Make him do it again. Send him back to the shops for the correct food. Tell him to remake the lunch and put it on a plate. Make him empty the dishwasher, clean out the broken bits and reload it. If he wants to behave like an idiot to get out of doing the work then he just has to do it again. When he realised he's giving himself more work, he'll do it properly.
Housework, shopping and preparing things for the kids are 50% his responsibility too.

Nobody is that stupid.

He's playing you and he's winning.

I bet you think twice before asking him to do anything, right? I bet you don't even consider the possibility that he might just think of stuff to do and then do it without you even asking.

Nip this shit in the bud. Make damn sure he fixes every problem he creates. Do not rescue. You are being played!

Does he do this ALL the time? Do you often do things yourself instead of asking because he will mess it up?

Nobody is that stupid. He's done it on purpose.
I just read that out to DH and he was WTF!

This is deliberate, because he doesn't want to do it, so he deliberately fucks things up in the hope you won't ask him again.

Kick his arse and get him to sort out his fuck ups. If he refuses, kick his arse out.

I agree - tell him he needs to sort it out. Back to the shops. Re-chop the fruit and veg for lunch. Clean out dishwasher. None of these are difficult tasks that require huge amounts of special womanly knowledge. He just doesn't give a shit!

What they said. He is playing you like a fiddle.

Well that would just piss me right off, it feels deliberate from what you've said.

This was happening with my best friend, they moved in together and he was behaving suddenly crazily Incompetent at everything, she got rid, but we both thought it was like he’d decided he didn’t want to do anything so was training her to think she better do it all, as he couldn’t get it right!!

Either that or your hubby is a bit of a drip, either way, make him sort his own messes and try and get him to sort his act out!

YANBU.

Has he never done any of these tasks before?!

He seriously dumped all that fruit and veg in one bag together with the wrap? I’m sorry but no one is tht stupid, especially as you had already instructed him on what to do

Ugh I SO feel you OP. It’s so frustrating. My oh asked me where his children's clothes go today - my eldest is 8, and they’ve been in the same room with the same cupboards and drawers for their whole lives. God forbid he should look at the labels to assess what belongs to which child, so as to store in right place or, heaven forfend, actually look at his children occasionally so as to be able to identify their clothes from their sibling’s. In the moment it makes me want to fucking murder him with a pair of (impossible to work out whose) children’s tights!

He has other skills and contributes in other ways but god it drives me mental. Count to ten and remember all the good stuff he does.

My mum used to say (with reference to my father) - act daft, get a hurl.

He remakes the packed lunch.
He goes back and gets the right things.
He clears up the broken crockery.

Don't just vent and clean up after him.

I'm worried about the fact that you seem to think that you are being unreasonable, and are blaming sleep deprivation for how you feel about his blatant and almost certainly deliberate incompetence.

Does he tell you that you're over-reacting or being too sensitive or whatever, if you complain about his inability to achieve the competence level of the average 7 year old?

There is no way that you are being unreasonable, and I totally agree with the others that he should go back to the shop, remake the lunch, and sort out the dishwasher/replace damaged crockery.