To confiscate DD1s Hair straighteners and curling tongs?

[FlamingGalar]

I bought my DD1 (14) some hair straighteners for christmas, with a heat proof pad to avoid scorch mark disasters. She was also given some curling tongs for her birthday a few weeks later.

First thing I said to her before she used her straighteners was that she must rest them on the heat proof pad when she is using them as they will very quickly leave scorch marks on the surface otherwise. She does her hair sitting on the carpet in front of a mirror so the surface she is putting them down on is her carpet.

Needless to say she bloody burned the carpet with the tongs! I was pissed off about it and told her if it happened again they would be taken away from her. She has form for damaging her (fairly new) carpet - nail polish, makeup spillages etc. Each time we have had a conversation about respecting the home and taking responsibility for her own space (which we spent hours redecorating for her last year). It all sinks in for a couple of weeks then it just goes to pot again.

After finding another scorch mark on her carpet yesterday I've taken her much loved heated styling tools away and as far as I'm concerned she can only use them supervised now.

When I was a teenager my room was an absolute dump (far worse than hers is to be honest) and frankly I didn't give a shit about looking after my carpet or my walls etc. In fact I painted union jacks all over my vintage fireplace tiles, but my mum just wasn't worried about it and put it down to normal teenage behaviour.

As far as I'm concerned my sanctions are entirely reasonable but my dh thinks I am too harsh on my dd and should accept that teenagers pull these sorts of stunts and relax a bit. Clearly my mum had a more lenient approach to this sort of behaviour too.

I'd be interested to hear the thought of the mumsnet jury. Should I just unclench a bit and readjust my expectations around this sort of behaviour? Quite honestly I'm sick to the back teeth of being the wicked witch of the west while the sun shines out of my dhs arse as far as dd1 is concerned (thats a whole other thread though!).

She'll soon learn not to do it when she stands on them. I know someone who ended up with bad burns to their foot after treading on straighteners.

Make up spills, hot hair tool burns etc aren't accidental. They're careless, lazy and disrespectful. You've spoken to her and asked her to be careful and warned her what would happen if she burned the carpet again. She ignored you. She's not a little girl. YANBU.

It’s a massive fire risk if nothing else. I’d Bin them.

I don t understand that as they re young they can trash stuff . I was brought up to look after things and I don t think it’s that hard . My dsd s ruined so many items - not as an accident it just seemed they did nt care . Bedding and towels covered in hair dye , make up , paints , dressing tables ruined with products left on them . What’s so difficult to look after stuff ??

I'd confiscate them too, but fire is one of my biggest anxieties.

PPs have suggested good solutions like small shelves etc - she can save up enough to pay for one of those to be installed, then she can have the straighteners back.

I agree with PP who say that your DD isn't treating the straighteners responsibly therefore shouldn't have them. Make up spills one thing, fire hazard / danger to others a completely different thing

When I was 17/18, I dated a man who was a bit older than me and owned his own house. He had spent a lot of time and money doing it up. I accidentally burnt his new bedroom carpet with my straighteners.
I felt awful, and bought him a little carpet sample as 'cute' I'm sorry gift. We split up not long after, probably because I was too young and in part, because I couldn't appreciate how hard he'd had to work to buy his nice carpet. Miraculously, we're still friends today...

Nowadays, I bought a metal hair tool holster and drilled it to the side of my vanity table.

My girls were warned several (million) times that if they left their straighteners turned on I'd take them away. First time it was for a day, next time for 3 days, last time for over a week. The third time I hid them in their laundry basket, they never found them! I warned then that next time I'd cut the cord so short they wouldn't be able to use them plugged in. They were very careful after that.

A few years back I used to help a LL (family friend - too old to manage his properties alone and was trying to sell) keep an eye on his properties. Going to inspections and doing exit reports and such.
A lot of the "first renters" generally students, would have marks and damage like this. Stuff like nail polish on the carpets and sofa (came with the house) scorch marks on the carpets and floorboards, one girl (fuck knows how) managed to get a perfect foundation and mascara imprint on the white wall.. . Just stuff caused by carelessness but I remember one girl in particular ending up with a £1700 bill, because she'd damaged 3 different carpets all less than 2 yrs old and also got nail polish splashes on the sofa and curtains. She wasnt charged for the sofa (it was old anyway) but was for everything else. She was just 18 and a student and it was her first rented home.

I think a bit of decent parenting and enforcement on treating your home and space with respect would've prevented this: think how much hot water your DD would be in if she was your lodger and not your DD...

Could this work?