AIBU to consider this as a last chance for my child? re - crowd funding and specialist schooling

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I have been around the mumsnet world since 2010!

I have name changed for this as this could be very outing but at this point we need all the advice we can get!

My eldest son is almost 11 and in the last year of primary, he is diagnosed with severe dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, low working memory and under assessment for high functioning ASD.

He has struggled so much all his academic life and is currently 4 years behind in English and 3 years behind in maths.

we have been fighting for 5 years for help for him and he has been failed at every turn and finally this year in year 6 at school he was awarded an EHCP plan and this is going in to the school now, but it feels like to little to late he has lost his primary school education time.

last year we got in touch with a specialist dyslexia school and they offered to asses our son and then invited him down for a trial week last October.

The trial was amazing my son came out of the school that first day and said "mummy they are all like me" "they get it" i just sobbed! and even now the memory of that moment makes me cry and it is the main reason why i cannot get this school out of my mind.

This school work on a completely different basis that normal schools they use a different approach and it worked so well for my son and after 7 years of using the normal phonics approach to learning i think a new approach is best as the old one had not worked for him!

Now this specialist school is private they take EHCP plans and use them to pay the fees, now my sons EHCP while funded to £7000 at year no where meets the schools £5000 a term fees (rising to £6000 as they get older).

So we are stuck i am retired on ill health grounds from the NHS and get a small pension, my husband is my carer so we have no available funds to meet those sort of costs. our families do not have this kind of money though i am sure they would help all they could just no one has 1000s laying about!

my son had got in to a good secondary school on the basis of his EHCP but he will have to be separated from all hi peers separate lessons and support as he will be a key stage 1 child working at a year 2 level in a key stage 3 environment

Yet my heart and mind cannot let go that i need to give my son this chance to change is life i need to know i have done everything i possibly can to help him succeed.

so last night while lying awake and stressing again i thought about people who crowd fund or do just giving or go fund me, i googled and saw crowd funding for specialist equipment, charities, cars, homes and even holidays!!

and i though why not why not us to?

so would i be mental to attempt this??

the total cost of his secondary education would be around £84000 taking off the years of his EHCP funding this would reduce this amount to around £45000.

so a £45000 target

when i think that is just 45000 people giving £1 or 90000 giving 50p i would get on my knees and beg everyone of these 90000 to help change my child's life.

so the main question is, is this too grabby? would you do this, should we put ourselves out there for this? and probably some abuse that would come with it??

we don't know what to do?

but we see our son struggle every day and i want to be able to look him in the face when he is older and say i tried everything

I think You have several options but the legal route probably is the best.
If the school has residential you could fight from where you currently are, otherwise move to the area where the school is , and fight from there.
Another option if you are going to move anyway is to move to an area where they have a good sen school or unit for specific learning difficulties as some councils have them and he could access the specialist support that way.
In the meantime if you or husband can , training to be a Dyslexia/ Specific Learning Difficulties Practicioner (Tutor) could be a good idea and support your son until you get a place at least. This can also be a self-employment opportunity in addition to what your family is currently sorting. The level 5 is about 1500 pounds here, not sure if you can get an advanced learner loan as an ocr level 5 course but you can ask, www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/educator/bda-services-educators#L5 Programme

You can't give up but at the same time some people can be very cruel and some of them may judge your family situation, and if your boy has to be in newspapers,etc because the huge amount ,it may not be fair on him really at his age and level of awareness. It could go well but also very badly just because you can't work (people often don't understand the difference between can't and won't ) . You can raise enough for legal fees within family and friends , carboots,etc without newspapers and exposing your family to possible criticism.

You need to go through the LA for this, it is possible for private school to be fully funded if your child genuinely needs this level of support and it isn't just that you want the other school more.

My son attends a private autism unit and it's fully funded by his EHCP including his transport and 2 overnights a week if we want them. We were made to send him to the special LA school that they felt would be suitable at first however, after 5 months they agreed with me it wasn't working and then moved him to the school I originally asked for.

the problem is that school fees do change, so by the time he's in the older years it might not be £6000 a term anymore.

Are there other specialist schools nearer you? alternatively what other provisions are there? there is a list here if that is any help to you.

OP, is the school a boarding school or just a day school?

Please also remember that the provision outlined in an ehcp must meet the full needs of the child in order to attain the best possible outcomes, it is no longer just about an adequate education. Can the school named on the ehcp cater to all his needs? Your LA will initially try and opt for the cheapest option, if you don't think that the school can meet the needs then there is the option of tribunal ( if you are still within the time limits). Did you actually agree that the named school can meet the needs of your son? When you got the draft copy of the ehcp that is when you should have named the school that you thought was the best fit, did that happen?

Have you checked your LA local offer to find out about other independent specialist schools?

If you go ahead please send me a link and I will donate.

In answer to your question, yes you could try crowdfunding and I would certainly donate, my own son has been in a specialist independent school, out of area for some years, fully funded by the LA and it has made a huge difference to our son, his academic attainment and his social skills attainment have really come a long way.

Thank you so much to all who have said they would consider donating and or sharing our story, it is so very kind of you.

We have taken all the advice on board and have decided to contact the agencies mentioned and get further legal advice.

Please understand I o ly know so much about the SEN system and have just come out of a 6 year fight for an EHCP.

It's been shattering and my brain is mush.

To be honest when so many people at local level are telling you it's not possible you belive that

Also the fight would have to be done from where we are now, we would move closer to the private school in the end but I coukd not move without knowing he had his place for certain.

My worry would be we would Move before and we would not win then we have given up our lives and our current home for nothing!

Any and all advice still welcome

The trouble with your plan to move if your son gets a place is that once you move out of the LA the current LA no longer is responsible for funding your son's placement.
The EHCP would then be reviewed by the LA that covers your new home. Now they may well decide that in their opinion the specialist school is the right school and will continue to fund but that isn't automatically so. You would have the right of appeal should the new LA not agree with the placement though.

Are there scholarships

Popping our heads in with our usual reminder on threads such as this that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are. Please bear in mind that it's best not to give more to another poster - either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) - than you'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

We do wish you all the best OP .

Crowdfunding is not the way to get what your son is legally entitled to. It is not good enough that your son has been failed for 5 years and is now 3 or 4 years behind his peers. Clearly mainstream education is not cutting it.

As others have said you need to get legal advice/talk to IPSEA about getting the LA to name the specialist school (which sounds great) on the EHCP.

Our son was failing in mainstream FE. We found a fabulous specialist college for ASD students and the LA refused to fund it. They had no suitable alternatives although they did their best to shoehorn our son into them.

We appealed and the LA conceded. Our son is now at a residential college 160 miles away from his home. He is doing fantastically well and is really happy.

It won't be easy and it shouldn't be necessary to have to fight for what your son needs, but this is the way to go.

Good morning! Thank you all again for the advice.

Thank you to the mumsnet team, just to clarify I am NOT asking or taking any money or donations as I have NOT set up any kind of crowd funding at this time, I was just asking people's opinions.

So this morning I am contacting IPSEA and seeing what they make of the situation!

Feeling a renewed energy with the support of posters saying keep fighting!

Your right it's what my son deserves!

Will keep updating.

Good luck OP

OP i am sorry you feel your son has been failed by the system however I am not sure that the info you shared is enough to warrant a place at this specialist school. I think it's important to remember that EHCs are funded by the taxpayer and every expensive out of LA placement reduces the pot for all other children which makes the whole system unfair. You said your son has got a place in a good local secondary school which is positive. It might be better to focus your energy on setting up a good transition to this school and speak to them about what strategies they could replicate from preferred school. School should also outline what additional support they will provide through EHC. This will then avoid the uncertainty of crowdfunding, moving house or involving solicitors. Good luck!

Are you absolutely sure that the fees are only £5k a term? It seems extremely low for a specialist dyslexia school, as it’s about the same as a mid range independent. I’m surprised that there isn’t a huge waiting list and no places available at that cost.