Breastfeeding night wakings

[Modestandatinybitsexy]

According to a thread about returning to work a lot of posters were saying that an bf 6mo shouldn't be waking 4x a night for feeds.

Now my 9mo still does this! It's all very well hearing about the "shouldn't's"and "it's only for comfort" but how the fuck do I go about changing this? Preferably with the least amount of tears from both of us.

Returning to work is something I'm worried about with this amount of night wakings. I know he's capable of longer because he just stayed with the ils and slept from 7-4am. What am I doing wrong?

It's very normal - there is a range of when they sleep through but 9 months is not unusual at all to still be waking.

If youd like to reduce it, Jay Gordon has a useful nightweaning guide, and the book the no cry sleep solution helped me.

Personally at that age I Co slept which made the night feeds less disturbing.

When my son was 5 months he was sleeping 13 hours down at 7 up at 8. I kid you not. At 6 month he started teething I fed him a couple of nights then on the 3rd and 4th I gave him water ) would not have done this before 6 months) he never bothered waking again unless ill or teething but even then not much. I had more sleep on maternity leave than when working. I did nothing before this 5 months to make him sleep he just did I remember at 12 weeks exactly he slept for 11 hours and my boobs were like rocks. I think you have a sleeper or you don't.

6 month old bf baby still waking 4 x a night?! Really; mine were definitely sleeping over 6 hours by 4 months. Remember waking up full and uncomfortable until i adjusted.

blacktea 14week old bf babies should be bf if they wake, not given water. OP sleep is completely individual and developmental. My ds woke every 1.5h for around 1.5years! DD though has been sleeping 10-7 from about 4months. (Now 7 months old).

icelolly yep, mine did. Pretty normal for them to still wake 3/4 times. Sometimes you’re lucky and yours sleep longer, but it’s not unusual for them to not either.

OP I waited till 9 months (as that was my breaking point where I couldn’t take the lake of sleep any longer) but then night weaned. First night was horrible but after that she slept through and has done since (unless ill).

In defence of blacktea, my bf dd1 slept through for 10-11 hrs without waking by 14 weeks, so it's not fanciful at all! But before you all hate me, I now have 15 mo twins who still don't sleep all night so I'm getting my comeuppance with bells on

blacktea just wait til she hits the 4 month sleep regression... DS used to only wake twice a night up until the regression...then all hell broke loose! Also as PP stated bf babies should not be given water, they need breast milk for their hydration, not water.

Don’t worry OP, my DS is almost 10 months and usually wakes 3-4 times a night for a feed. Sometimes more, very rarely less. we co-sleep on the bad nights so I can easily feed him without worrying about falling asleep in the chair or traipsing in to the nursery like a zombie. I’m worried about what will happen when I’m back at work though!

4 month sleep regression passed dd1 by. Was it not a thing in the late nineties? My dds2 and 3 though....

Bauble there's a difference between having a bf baby that has no feeds because they sleep all night and a bf baby that wakes but is given water from a bottle in an attempt to sleep train them at 3 months old.

Blacktea I think that's truly truly awful. A 3 month old doesn't need water from a bottle. Poor baby.

Yeah, the 4 month regression sucks. My DS was sleeping 6/7 hours at 6 weeks and 11/12 by 9 weeks. At 3.5 months he just decided sleep is for losers! He's a bit better now and has one feed at 3/4/5 (& once 6!!) at 9 months old.
Just removing a 2am feed isn't really how it works because the baby may completely change their sleeping and feeding routine by then. Plus parenting isn't a competition!

Both mine were waking to feed, but by about 7/8 months it was getting to have a few mouthfuls and then fall back to sleep so we decided to night wean. DH went in to them for a couple of nights and they stopped bothering.

Think the thing was I could tell they weren't really having much, it was just a habit that needed breaking.

Jaded I agree. Not a fan of sleep training here, not for 3 month old anyway. And to op, having had 3 very different sleepers ( brilliant, average and truly appalling!) just bear in mind, Its not you, it's just how they are. Not very helpful sorry x

DS was waking 4 times a night till 3 weeks ago (he's 7.5 months). He now goes down at 7 and wakes at 10.30, 1 and 6.15. We cut out his 3.30ish feed by DH going in to resettle him. First night resulted in 1.5 hrs of crying, but by 4th night he slept through it.

My 19mo feeds whenever he likes, day or night. Always has and will carry on until it naturally stops.

Just do whatever you feel you want to do! If the night wakings and feeds are annoying then wean/sleep train. If it doesn't bother you just carry on! Your boobs your baby.

Forgot to say, the reason DH did the resettling was because if I tried DS would smell my milk and immediately start to root and get cross he wasn't being fed.

@blacktea

I mean this gently- your DGD doesn't need water in the night. She needs breastmilk or formula. She's waking because at that age, it's important to take in calories throughout the night as well as during the day. Their tummies are too tiny to hold enough to see them through.

Please do direct your DGDs parents to leche league or kellymom websites for more
info.

@applesandpears I agree it’s normal for bf babies to wake up through the night. But don’t agree that it’s necessary to go on to state it’s abnormal if they don’t. My 5 month old is ebf but sleeps 8pm til 5/6 without waking them has feed and goes back to sleep. in my bf ing group sleeping through is not unusual. I think that’s got potential to make some mums worry unnecessarily if their baby sleeps through (although the first couple of weeks are a bit different). There’s a broad range of experiences and night feeding is certainly very common.

I should say this has been her own doing I haven’t tried to sleep train her or withholding feeds. I used low light for night feed and tried not to talk but that was it - Me or my husband picked her up whenever she cried in the night and cuddled her and i offered her the breast each time. I feed her on demand she just started going longer stretches then 2.5 months started sleeping right through. I have been dreading 4 month regression but she’s 5 months next week and nothing major, she’s started waking a bit earlier for first feed.

@blacktea please don’t give your 14week old a bottle of water instead of milk - breast or formula. You might cause kidney problems or kidney failure.

Op perfectly normal.If you think the baby is waking because they want a bf give it.But if its habit,no harm in trying to get someone else to settle him.

@Blacktea that is not something to be proud of.Babies that age need to be fed often.Their tummies are not big enough for to eat loads.And anyway bf dont need water,as they should get the drink in teh milk first.

This is depressing. Currently feeling very low and bfing my 4 month old
Feel like shit
Was hoping I could look forward to it getting easier towards 6 months and definitely at 12 months. Jeez, what have I signed up to

ethel breastfeeding shouldn't make you feel low, if you're struggling it's really ok to ask for help and consider other methods of feeding.
I found it got easier with DS1 when he started eating a good amount during the day and I could fill him up much more before he went to bed, we night weaned at around 15 months because I could tell it was habit rather than need but he still doesn't sleep through. DS2 is currently 2.5weeks and is the complete opposite in terms of sleep, obviously no idea if this will continue but for now it's nice.
I don't think you can make that much of a difference tbh, if they are ready for night weaning they'll get on board and if not they will let you know.
Hoping they give you an easier time when you go back to work op, but try not to lose heart!

Ethel - take it one day(night) at a time. It DOES get easier at 6 and 12 months. 4 months is the hardest part imo as you are knackered but it hasn’t got easier yet and there’s a sleep regression then etc. Ignore the people telling you just to switch to formula when you are having a bad day - unless YOU want to of course. Try and get on a good Facebook and local support group for breastfeeding which imo really helps with support. You can do this!

And the bit you should listen to monkey about - she night weaned and her baby still doesn’t sleep through - stopping bf is no guarantee it’ll get easier - it’ll just mean someone else can take a turn properly at night

There's no way I could cope with bfing four times a night still!

We are at almost 7 months and for a good while our 'routine' has been bedtime feed somewhere between 7&9, night feed around 3 (edging towards 4 the past week) and then morning feed around 7 or 8.

But that's nothing to do with me, I haven't 'trained him' or anything!

I don't think at 6m+ they need to be breastfed that often at night but when a baby really wants it, it's very hard not to give them it!

But never mind what anyone else does, if you're struggling with that much night feeding (and I bet anyone would) then I would try some of the suggestions like getting dad to settle baby for at least one of the usual feeds, offer water etc.