DH quitting smoking and has become insufferable!

[SharronNeedles]

My DH and I have been married for over 5 years and we have a DS who is 1.
When we met we both smoked. We smoked around the same amount, although he did it for longer than me.
We fell pregnant while I was on the pill so total surprise baby however he was very, very much loved from the moment we knew about him.
I found out I was pg at 10 weeks and had been smoking and drinking up until that point however I went cold turkey the moment I knew. DH promised he would quit smoking in time for baby to come however there were always excuses why he couldn't. I had DS very prematurely so again this was a massive shock to us and I technically died and my heart was restarted during the birth. We were both in hospital (different ones due to a lack of beds and care available) so DH was travelling back and forth for a couple of weeks until I got out.
Anyways, the first few months were really really hard on all of us and DH was our rock. His way of coping was smoking.

We are now over a year later and he still was smoking despite repeatedly saying that he would quit. I have never started up again for obvious reasons but I hate and now resent the fact that DH smokes. He agrees to try and quit and he has turned into such a short tempered person! He shouts at DS, he is swearing lots, he shouts at me or just doesn't speak.
This isn't him at all but it's who we're stuck with at the moment.
He is my world and I know he needs our support now more than ever but hes just so unpleasant!

Has anyone been through this? Will it pass? What do I do?

It should pass, how long has it been?

It should pass - and this really is a matter of life or death so he needs to push through it with your support. How long has it been?. Could you and DS go away to visit relatives for a week?

How long has he been unpleasant? Couple of weeks is quite normal I've noticed.

4 days now.
I know it's hardly any significant length of time but it's been like living with a different person!

4 days! give him a break love, it's bloody hard quitting smoking.

Especially if you actually don't really want to.

You could tell him however to clear off if he is in a bad mood and stop taking it out on you/DS

Is that all? I think the fourth day was the worst for me, the rage was awful to deal with.

The worst of it was definitely over after the first week.

He’ll possibly be like this for a month or two I’d give him a break.

Oh it's hard and it's hell. You're in the trenches.

You have to remember, he is an addict suffering withdrawals. We tend to think of this in heroine-sized terms. But breaking the fag habit is as tough as it gets.

We had to spend two weeks with Nana on holiday last summer while she quit cold turkey (because she was having seizures and had a mild stroke 3 days in, so binning the fags was the first order of business). It was truly awful. She was shouting at everyone, ranting like a look, and it was just a shit holiday, full stop. It's like a whole different person shows up and it's really hard. I feel for you.

Persevere OP. And keep your distance as much as you can, difficult as that is, I know.

Thanks all.
I know 4 days is fuck all in the long run but honestly we are walking on eggshells! It's been the longest 4 days ever! We have a tiny flat and are snowed in so we can't even keep out of each others way! DS jammed his finger yesterday and DH shouted at him for being noisy. As I say, this isn't him at all and I just don't know how to not piss him off!
I tried to speak to him last night and just ask him to try and keep everything in perspective and he stormed off to bed saying he was doing this for us so we can't complain.

Quitting while snowed in with a young child never a good plan.

Dp has tried 4 times and each time been a nightmare I put up with it but honestly when he eventually gave in I was pretty relieved.

Well exactly my point OP he is doing it for you, not for himself. He is likely to not succeed simply because of this fact

Those few weeks are awful, we quit at the same time and those weeks were the first time we'd had arguments in many years.

All I can say is I hope he makes it through them without picking it up again, because once they are over, the rest is easier I've found.

Its horrendous. Each time dh given up its two weeks of pure hell. Vaping really helped the last time. Cold turkey - his moods were soooo bad

When Dh gave up (after me begging him for years) he was dreadful for about 3 weeks.

I came very close to going and buying him a packet of cigarettes. and I’d hated him smoking since the day we met. It is very very hard for him and you but you need to support him. It will be worth it in the end!

It’s not something that is easy, especially when you don’t really want to. I’d give him a bit of a break but don’t let him go to far. I’d still remind him that your son is a young child and he needs to watch who he is snapping at.