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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have beeped back

91 replies

lakia10 · 03/03/2018 18:36

Okay I am a very nervous driver and don't have much experience of driving on long dark country lanes. So I decided to take the plunge and drive to Wales with my dp but was very nervous about it.
Anyway I did quite well felt good that I had plucked up the courage. However travelling home late at night pitch black roads I did feel disorientated but kept it together I tried to pick up the speed but didn't drive as fast as alot of people do and many overtook me. However one particular lorry driver was driving behind me in a massive intimidating contraction and getting up my arse flashing and beeping his horn aggressively.
It really upset me and unfortunately I felt angry and as he overtook me I kept my hand on the horn back. It knocked my confidence and I now won't travel there again. Aibu.

OP posts:
Original poster
lakia10 · 03/03/2018 18:51

This was 2 weeks ago I am not a Moran cheers for that

OP posts:
Unihorn · 03/03/2018 18:51

I'm more impressed you found a country lane in Wales that isn't covered in three feet of snow..!

category12 · 03/03/2018 18:52

You'd be silly to let this experience stop you travelling anywhere. Sounds like this bloke was a nobend tho.

candyloves · 03/03/2018 18:54

Don't worry about it . I'm a nervous driver as well an dark country roads are a no no for me. I always remind myself that when I see someone driving slowly in an area I know well that they may be lost or unfamiliar with the route.
There's nothing wrong with driving cautiously on dark country roads. I agree motorways are different but you did nothing wrong.

AuntLydia · 03/03/2018 18:54

I'm in Wales and we have very little snow here so it depends which part op was driving to. Wales covers quite a large area.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/03/2018 18:54

It sounds like you were driving slower than 50 tbh. Probably would have been wiser to have come home in the day. Driving at night when you’re a nervous driver and especially in this weather isn’t the best idea.

In future always pull over when it’s safe to do so, do drivers can pass.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 03/03/2018 18:54

So not do.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 03/03/2018 18:55

You haven't answered the question on the road type? Country lane in the dark then 50 is fine, motorway It's really not.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/03/2018 18:55

TBH , if you beeped at a large lorry the driver probably wouldn't have heard or cared.

I had an aggressive lorry driver right up my back on the M80 , three lanes , where they were merging but there were roadworks. (reduced speed)
2am, nothing else on the road, they were perfectly able and safe to overtake me, no , prefered to sit on my bumper.
I flashed my hazard lights (no point beeping they were behind me)
I was rewarded with a full on headlight glare which nearly fecking dazzled me, before they overtook (slow handclap)

No point at all, even if there was single file , it would have slowed them for 5 seconds. Sheer bullying .

Whisperquietly · 03/03/2018 18:56

OP, apologies my comment was not aimed at you. It was a response to the fatuous (and rude) post by Overnightangel above.

Original poster
lakia10 · 03/03/2018 18:57

Yes. Unfortunately I am admittedly hot-headed and was ready to wipe his arse on the road.

OP posts:
Original poster
lakia10 · 03/03/2018 18:58

Okay sorry

OP posts:
cardibach · 03/03/2018 18:59

If you were doing anything approaching 50 it wasn’t a ‘narrow country lane’. It might have been a bit of a bendy A road. If lots of people overtook you it must mean you were going a lot slower than the road would allow. Don’t be put off by one bad experience though - get better and keep going.

Original poster
lakia10 · 03/03/2018 19:00

It was fairly narrow road a bit bendy etc. I say most overtook but I didn't really encounter that many other drivers.

OP posts:
Trendy1 · 03/03/2018 19:01

lakia, I am sorry to say that if you are going to drive a lot you will need a thicker skin, there are idiots all over the place that will pull out in front of you and beep you from behind. You have to get used to it, and NOT be hot headed and retaliate by beeping back. You need to keep your eyes on what you are doing if you are nervous. Ignore them.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 03/03/2018 19:02

I also think you were probably quite a bit under 50 simply because you've stated a lot of cars overtook you...
Perhaps look at some advanced driving lessons rather than just giving up.

FaithHopeCharityDesperation · 03/03/2018 19:02

So a lorry overtook you on a bendy, narrow road in the dark?

You must have been going a lot slower than 50 for that to have happened.

iamyourequal · 03/03/2018 19:06

Getting my more experience and growing a thicker skin etc is all great advice. However the evidence presented is that the OP is a nervous and unexperienced driver who couldn’t cope well with driving at normal speed on a country road. She should have regularly pulled over to let others pass her. That would have been the safest option for everyone.

multivac · 03/03/2018 19:11

It sounds to me like you were driving dangerously, OP. Sorry.

bittern79 · 03/03/2018 19:17

If lots of other people were overtaking you, you must have been going a lot slower than you think. For heaven’s sake, if you were nervous and disorientated, why not pull over and let people overtake you safely? Why should everyone else be delayed because of you?

Sounds like the lorry driver was aggressive, but perhaps he was frustrated. Didn’t your h think you were driving too slowly?

wrenika · 03/03/2018 19:18

For a lorry to overtake on a country lanes, you must have been going a good bit slower than 50. If I were you, I would have done some 'practice' driving on rural roads, and rural roads in the dark, before taking the plunge on a longer trip. Obviously you shouldn't drive faster than you feel comfortable, but equally, you are dangerous if you're dawdling too much. If you've got someone behind driving aggressively to get past, pull in and let them past. It's much safer to let them on their way than to have them sitting on your bumper. But in this instance, I have a feeling you were probably causing the issue here.

GUMBYMUMBY · 03/03/2018 19:18

He is just a huge colossal lump of twatness, don't let it get to you.

gillybeanz · 03/03/2018 19:20

Going too slow can cause accidents.
If you aren't capable of keeping up with traffic, obviously at the speed limit, then you shouldn't be driving.
The driver was probably beeping to make you aware of them.
I thought Wales had a lot of snow.

ISpentTheDayInBed · 03/03/2018 19:25

Don't let them put you off. I have been driving for many years and am a confident driver. However, last Sunday I managed to stall my car at the traffic lights. The young man behind be in his little Audi A1 was absolutely furious and pressed his horn continuously. He then gave me the finger and was screaming to himself, waving his hands about, doing idiot gestures etc, etc. I just laughed at him, and once I had got started again and the lights changed I moved off pretty slowly, just because I could! Childish of me, but he was a complete dick. It was 10.00 am on Sunday morning and the road was very quiet, but he perhaps had to be somewhere in a hurry!

toolonglurking · 03/03/2018 19:25

If you are driving on country roads and can't confidently manage to maintain a reasonable speed (so much so that you are being overtaken regularly) then you need to learn to pull in and let other drivers pass.

You say you were doing about 50, do you mean mph or kph? 50mph on a country road at night is fine, but I'd still suggest you let other drivers pass, if it was 50kph then u suggest you do with a pass plus course.

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