To want my husband to ask for the money back?

[koalaoala85]

8 years ago, DH (we weren’t married then) lived with his best friend for two years. At the time, DH was working and best mate was studying. Being the (too) generous person that he is, DH covered a lot of the bills in this period on the proviso that best friend would pay him back when he started working. Promises were made, spreadsheets to keep track of money owed were created and lots of money was spent on “ladding”. Best friend racked up a debt of around £2500.

Fast forward to now, best friend has a well paid job, owns a lovely house, has several holidays a year etc and is yet to pay back a penny. DH doesn’t seem bothered but it infuriates me! I know it was and isn’t my money but we could really use it right now. Plus I just think it’s rude to borrow money and never pay it back! AIBU to ask DH to ask for the money back?

Whether it's too late depends on whether DH has been asking for it at all over the past 8 years.

If he's never mentioned it then yes it is too late

If he's asked for it say once a year and been fobbed off then it's not too late (even if the last time was a few years ago)

I don't really see why friend should have money given to him when it was intended to be a loan, just because he's good at being a CF. It is between your Dh and friend yes, but it's inevitably going to affect how you feel about friend, and DH should care about that surely?

Has he ever actually asked for it back?

It's before you, you don't really have any say in it. That said you should be able to give your DH your honest opinion! Just ask him. If he says no, that's the end of it.

It's not really any of your business if you weren't with him at the time

Very much not my business or money but it still annoys me! We’ve all been really good friends since secondary school and I’m certain we’ll all stay friends for many many years to come. Would quite like a bump for a deposit for our new house at the moment though!

Has he ever asked for it back?

I don’t think this person is a good friend, actually. He sounds like a user who has done well and conveniently forgotten those who helped him on his way up. It’s very hard as so much time has passed but I agree with a PP above. Your DH could ‘jokingly’ remind him of the debt and see if he says he’ll settle it. It would be nice to have it back, with a bit extra on top for the trouble, to be honest. Don’t be surprised if you never see it again though.

Did his friend help him out by letting him stay with him

What was the arrangement re payment

What does your dh say when did he ask for it?