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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband watching 18 certificate films in front of kids

40 replies

Twoweekcruise · 03/03/2018 17:15

I can't get through to my stupid husband and we have just had a massive row over this.
He's been watching a film on Netflix with our 10 year old DD in the room with him (she was drawing and I was doing bits in the kitchen).
Half way in to the film I walk into the room to find him sitting there glued to the screen watching an 18 certificate film. The film was really quite violent and DD was sitting there watching too. I blew my top telling DH how irresponsible he was to allow DD to watch such a film. His response was that there are other rooms in the house and she was free to go in the other living room or in her bedroom.
He did this last week and I was pissed off with him, now I'm livid. I can't get through to him that he shouldn't be watching violent or any 15/18 certificate films whilst DD is in the room.
He just doesn't understand why I'm so angry!
AIBU here?

OP posts:
LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 03/03/2018 18:08

YANBU my ex did similar when our DC was a similar age it’s still affecting them now in fact. Irresponsible and unfair and cruel.

thethoughtfox · 03/03/2018 19:35

If they have sexual content and/ or violence ( well, they will as that's why they have an 18 certificate) then this is a form of abuse exposing children to this.

desertmum · 03/03/2018 20:10

A 5 year old got a Saw film as a present? Jesus Christ surely that is a safe guarding issue? I saw the start of one and it was truly gross. Allowing a 5 year old to watch that kind of film is very very disturbing. I'm not one for going down the 'report them' line but I think I would have to report that to the relevant child safe guarding people.

WeAllHaveWings · 03/03/2018 20:15

sometimes just doesn’t think is a crap excuse.

Couldn’t he have worked it out himself? You can’t trust him not to repeat this if you aren’t there to tell him off. Very unattractive.

Sevendown · 03/03/2018 20:18

Lots of parents ignore age ratings.

It’s not good parenting but there isn’t much anyone can do about it.

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 03/03/2018 20:41

lot of the "research" that you have to trawl through on media effects and violence on the internet is built on moral panic and wooly science

it really isn't Hmm

PullTheBricksDown · 03/03/2018 20:47

The science is woolly in terms of it showing that viewing violence will in turn make you violent (the 'media effects' debate). What's a lot more straightforward is that watching violence can make kids feel upset, scared, worried, insecure. Not what most people want for their kids.

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 03/03/2018 21:03

Again, its really not. There is good quality research that suggests that children who grow up seeing screen violence on a regular basis are somewhat desensitised to the effects of violence, and that in turn may be linked to higher rates of violent offending.
It's even stronger when you are talking about active rather than passive viewing, ie video games, as the area of the brain used for this is the same as actual participation in violent acts.

PullTheBricksDown · 03/03/2018 22:59

Do you have links or more details Snow? I'd genuinely like to read it myself.

PorkFlute · 03/03/2018 23:05

If it’s happened before it’s not that he doesn’t think it’s that he doesn’t care. I would ask him if he wants to have to explain to ss why he’s letting his 10 yr old watch inappropriate stuff.
He needs to take himself to the bedroom and close the door if he wants to watch that kind of stuff with the children around. You aren’t overreacting at all.

PorkFlute · 03/03/2018 23:08

And it’s not just slightly sub optimal parenting. If there are graphic sex scenes for eg as there are in a lot of 18 films then he is exposing his child to explicit material which is abuse.

Masterbuilders · 03/03/2018 23:18

YANBU. It’s a safeguarding issue.

Inertia · 03/03/2018 23:52

It's considered abusive behaviour and a safeguarding issue. If your child mentions it at school, the teacher responsible for child protection would have to follow the relevant protocols.

If DH thinks you're nagging /OTT, would he trot out the same line if he had a phone call from a concerned headteacher?

expatmatt78 · 04/03/2018 00:01

Had similar issue today. We just got Xbox and DH was watching game trailers with the kids. Watched one for a very violent game with a 17+ certificate. The animations look so real - this one ended with someone pulling someone elses head off!! I told him the certificates were there for a reason the same as with films.

UtterlyRainbowed · 05/03/2018 00:15

Yes @desertmum I was horrified. A TA from the school was there as her child is in the same class. Nothing has been said as far as I know but the Mum was trying to hide the cake as much as possible so I don't know if she was aware

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