AIBU to think I’m bound to have a bad/traumatic birth as so many women do?

[readysetcake]

Currently pregnant with second DC. First birth was fine, a positive experience, so I have no real reason to be anxious. However, due to changes at my local hospital if I give birth there again and something goes wrong I will need to transfer 40 mins min to the big hospital as there are no longer obstetricians at my local.
I now find myself focusing on terrible birth stories and convincing myself that my second birth can’t go like my first as so many births go ‘wrong’ my first must have been a fluke it’s stressing me big time.

AIBU to think there are so many bad birth stories I’m at real risk of having one myself? Is it down to bad care in an over stretched NHS and I should just brace myself for it all going horribly wrong?
Fat, Hormonal and scared, please be kindness.

In all honesty if you’ve had one good birth you usually carry on having them. I’ve never heard of someone having one good birth then later bad ones. You either have a bad one and keep on having bad ones or have a bad one then good ones.

It’s quite unusual to have a bad birth after a good one, because there are so many complications that obviously don’t apply to you and your body does everything you need it to at the right time.

Should anything go wrong though, that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad birth. I had two EMCS but I count them as good births as we all came out the other end alive because of great surgical care. Wasn’t so happy with the care after, but the actual birth was good.

People talk about traumatic experiences more than they talk about the okay ones!
And especially online where women whove had bad experiences are trying to support each other you will get many bad stories.
But statistically you are far more likely to have an okay birth than an horrendous one. (if you have no underlying medical conditions and the pregnancy is going fine etc)

I think its sadly the traumatic births which are 'flukes' if anything. I had a traumatic birth and it came out of nowhere because the pregnancy was all fine and I was young and healthy.
Out of eleven of my friends who have had children in the past couple of years only myself and one other friend had traumatic experiences.
Quite a few of my friends births were over in a matter of hours and they walked out same day! And a few had lovely home births!

I think you are less likely to have a traumatic birth if you are more aware of why they happen. A lot of women feel out of control and so not know what is happening or why. You can avoid this by doing a little research, which it sounds like you have.

I agree with Tinsel. As long as you are fully informed and open to all possibilities (rather than having fixed criteria as to what constitutes a "good" birth) then I wouldn't worry.

Just remember, everyone in the room will be working towards a shared aim - a healthy baby. All they or you can do is respond to what your baby does to facilitate it's safe arrival.

It's tricky. I think statistics show that subsequent births are less likely to be traumatic (in the sense of complications and intervention), especially if the first birth was straightforward. If you look at stats for things like EMCS and so on you'll notice a big difference between first-time mothers and those giving birth to subsequent babies.
I would say to do your research though. Know what can happen and why it happens. Learn what your rights are, that you can decline things and ask for other options. Learn the risks and the benefits of different choices and what the alternatives are.

The facts probably are that a higher number of births are straight forward than the ones with complications however you hear more about the complicated deliveries which make them seem like they occur more often. Have a look for positive birth stories or don't look at all and focus on the fact that a good first birth puts you at even better odds of this one being ok too.
Also remember you're in good hands no matter what. Good luck OP

The place I'm about to have a baby is 3 hours drive from the nearest proper hospital, so I can relate to what you are worried about.
As previous posters have said, knowledge is power, and if you've had one straightforward birth then the odds are in your favour. Also, the bad stories travel so much further than the boring/good ones.
Your birth experience is your own, no one else's. Don't take other people's stories in because they are totally irrelevant to you.
Good luck!

Try to focus on the positive. I have had 3 births 2 normal and a planned section. All were fine - absolute agony but still fine - luckily.
Am not a medical professional but it does seem that a positive first experience does help a lot. A lot of the awful stories (although obviously not all) seem to be first births and then subsequent problems arising from that.

I think you are less likely to have a traumatic birth if you are more aware of why they happen. A lot of women feel out of control and so not know what is happening or why. You can avoid this by doing a little research, which it sounds like you have.

At first reading this is ridiculous. A little reading and research will not make a baby change position, or a body from hemorrhaging, or contractions from suddenly stopping mid labour, which can make for a traumatic birth.

Unless you mean that having the knowledge makes you more able to emotionally handle complications that may arise?

But to the OP, I think you need to have confidence in the hospital that they will make the right call if you need to be transferred in plenty of time, and you will have excellent paramedics to take care of you and your baby.

And most likely you will have a good birth like you did the first time. Worrying is to suffer twice so don't let it consume you.