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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I love my MIL.

66 replies

IlovemyMIL · 03/03/2018 11:36

There's a tonne of threads on here bashing MILs (often quite rightly so) but I just wanted to share a positive MIL (well more PIL) story.

Pil visited from overseas last weekend. DD (3) caught chicken pox and had to stay off nursery this week. It would have been really difficult for DH and I to organise childcare between ourselves as we both work FT but we would have scraped through... just. We've recently moved to a new city and started new jobs. We don't know anyone so don't have any family or friend support network.

PIL immediately offered to stay until Thursday. They looked after DD during the day, got up with her (literally got to her room before we did!), cleaned the house, cooked dinner, went shopping etc and FIL fixed lots of things around the house. MIL has cleaned and organised messy kitchen drawers from when we moved in (I know most people find that annoying but honestly I was glad of the bloody help). She also did laundry and some bedtimes.

They've been absolutely bloody wonderful even when they couldn't fly home on Thursday because of the snow and it's still touch and go if they can fly back on Monday. It's a cultural thing but they like to be really busy and have literally thrown themselves to do things and told us to enjoy family time without stress.

Today I'm feeling the heart warming fuzziness of just how awesome they've been this week and just how much we really needed the support. I've told them but they're too bloody modest to take the compliment. We have got some thank you gifts but I don't think they do it justice.

Feel free to add to the MIL/PIL love.

OP posts:

MrsElvis · 03/03/2018 19:19

Mine are brilliant. Not without flaws but so helpful and good people

ffsetc · 03/03/2018 19:19

That's really lovely and made me a bit teary, thinking about when my DPs used to visit and help us out so much. I also have a wonderful MIL. Even though I'm about to be divorced from her precious son, she is nothing but loving and kind. Here's to the fantastic elders! I hope I'm as loved by my kids when they're adults.

GiddyGardner · 03/03/2018 19:20

To the OP, you have brought a wave of positivity to MN, I bet you bring this to all aspects of life though. I'm a firm believer that if you smile at a stranger, it pays loads back, because it makes everyone feel positive, you included. And as you have proved with this post, positivity brings with it positivity! Keep on appreciating others and being you.

Fluffyears · 03/03/2018 19:21

@dad because i was Outside my badly parked car gesticulating at her to move. It’s a dead end so no other way in. She had a call 20 minutes before we left the house but when we pull up and can’t park due to 40cm of snow she decides now is time to go to the loo, check what she needs at Asda, show dp a room she tidied!?...find a warm coat, will she need a hat, or gloves, yes she needs gloves, where are her snow boots....THE CAR IS BLOCKING TWO DRIVES AND ANY OTHER VEHICLES WHO NEED IN! Thankfully no one needed access or i’d have a thread about me and some penguin bollards.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 03/03/2018 19:29

My MIL was amazing and I miss her all the time. One of the biggest sadnesses of my life is that she never met my children. The first one was born 18 months after she died after a decade of infertility. I have 3 children now and I sometimes think that’s because she was able to put a good word in for me up there.

She only had sons. And she started teaching them from when they were very small to be self sufficient and look after themselves and not to expect to have someone else look after them. She was orphaned as a child so this was important to her. As a result all of her DILs have husbands who do at least (often more) 50% of housework and child rearing. My FIL is to thank for that too as he hates an incapable man and has instilled them all with a work ethic at work and home. My SILs are fab too.

I am incredibly lucky with my in laws. Having decent in laws makes your quality of life much better and gives you such a better support network when things go wrong.

Eggoispreggo · 03/03/2018 19:46

Lots of PIL love here too, they're total dreamboats. They only live 5 mins away so they're here if we need them, but not pushy about it at all/never drop in unannounced. So excited for them to be grandparents as well as DP is their only child and I know they'll be amazing grandparents to our DC arriving in June

Original poster

IlovemyMIL · 03/03/2018 20:03

@Pashazade - my DH and FIL are so similar that MIL and I have similar conversations. It actually made my relationship with DH better as I was seeing where some of his behaviour and habits came from 😂

OP posts:

Gertrudethestag · 03/03/2018 20:07

It took me a long time to gel with my FIL but as I've aged we have more in common. MIL is lovely too.

But my brothers-in-law treat me like I'm their sister. In fact one of my brother in laws called me his sister last week. Love them! I am very very lucky

Original poster

IlovemyMIL · 03/03/2018 20:10

@Eggoispreggo awwwww 😍 Enjoy it

OP posts:

JessieMcJessie · 03/03/2018 20:19

Fluffyears whatvare you doing on this thread?

GrouchyKiwi · 03/03/2018 20:32

That's so lovely, OP. They sound very caring and wonderful.

My in-laws are mostly wonderful too. We have a few issues around interference, but I know it comes from a place of love and the amount of advocacy they've had to do for their children over the years.

They're always willing to help out, love to come look after our children so we can get away for a weekend, even though they live at the other end of the country, and they do a lot when they do come to visit.

Original poster

IlovemyMIL · 03/03/2018 21:33

@GrouchyKiwi - you're PIL sound like mine, they cherish unfettered access to DC 😬

OP posts:

Highpeak · 03/03/2018 22:30

My MIL died last year, I miss her so much. She was the perfect mother figure to me as my mum isnt very maternal (she was DH's stepmum, he lost his mum young.) DD was only 6 months and feel it's such a loss for her.

AveAtqueVale · 03/03/2018 22:41

I don’t particularly get on with my MIL but my FIL is fantastic (they’re divorced so luckily can see one without the other). He’s incredibly kind and helpful but also unobtrusive and non-interfering, is a fantastic grandpa to our DSs and to SIL’s children, and has always made me feel that he considers me part of his family. He’s quite an odd man in some ways but I love him dearly. I keep trying to convince DH awe should ask him to come and live with us before one of our mothers tries to move in.

FloppyDoodle · 03/03/2018 23:19

Mine are both great. They're not together anymore, but they are both wonderful.

poobumwee · 03/03/2018 23:31

mine are great too

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