Aggressive downstairs neighbour

[seagulltargetpractice]

Posting on behalf of my DSis, who's had this problem for months.

DSis lives in a large Victorian house that's been chopped into flats. She has the top floor one, and there are two below her. She lives alone, and quietly, but the flooring is old and noisy/creaky, so any movement she does make is amplified downstairs.

She practices yoga to deal with injuries from a car accident and was doing some stretches at about 8.30 this morning when she heard him shouting and swearing at her 'Fucking always fucking banging, FUCK OFF' yadda yadda. He also bangs on the ceiling a lot.

It's not the first time he's responded aggressively to her simply moving around her own flat. Once he came up and shouted at her because she had two friends round and he could 'hear their feet'.

She's starting to get really upset by this neighbour, and feels like she literally has to tiptoe to appease him. I think he's a bully and she should call him out on it and continue to live her (perfectly reasonable!) quiet life.

I’ve suggested she go down and say ‘Sorry, I couldn’t help but hear that you were angry this morning. I was doing yoga in my flat. I’m sorry if it bothered you but I do try very hard to be quiet, it’s just the nature of these old houses’

But then I'm not living there. Is she BU? Is he?!

Contact the landlord? Keep a note of incidents. If he’s angry and aggressive and she is there own Id really advise not confronting him.

She can wait until her boyfriend gets there before speaking to him, but you're right, the landlord would be a good way to go.

I would keep notes of the incidents and keep reported to the LL.

If he approaches her aggressively call the cops. I would not approach him even if her boyfriend is with her, her will probably be worse t's not safe.

Does she have carpets?

I do have some sympathy for the neighbour. When you are in a downstairs flat and you have noise above you it is pretty dreadful. Doesn't give him the right to be rude though. Could she get carpets or at least some thick rugs?

I've met him, he's a weedy little fella - works at the Beeb (like most people in her area, a naice bit of Manchester). He's definitely behaving like a jerk behind closed doors because he's too chicken shit to just have a conversation about it.

But you're right, maybe speaking to him isn't ideal. I'll pass on the advice about the landlord.

She has carpets AND rugs! She lives quietly, goes to bed early, no loud music, wears slippers indoors...

I do hate neighbours noise with passion, but if you are anything like me, you stick to top floor flats. If she has carpets and rugs, there's not much she can do.

If she can hear and understand her neighbour's rants, the noise insulation is pretty bad, so he probably can hear the floor creaking too, but yoga is hardly a noisy activity. She can speak to the landlord, she can't stop walking in her own place

We had a very noisy man downstairs - constant loud music, shouting, yelling - he just would not shut up. I asked nicely (he wouldn’t come to the door and used to send his maid who couldn’t speak English so I used to pantomime to her and she would smile and nod - he was there and could hear me!).

I complained to the council and eventually the music stopped (he got a bloody karaoke machine though - much worse). Anyway the council in its wisdom wrote to him - and CCed me on the letter, d’uh.

He would just glare at me and bristle when he saw me - really big scary looking bloke - and I just wouldn’t get in the lift with him.

I was so glad when he left - he went back abroad eventually, so I’m sure wouldn’t give a rats if he actually did lay hands on me. Some people really don’t have any qualms about trying to intimidate and you don’t know how badly they can act.

I’m not a wuss really - at work I can be a dragon - but when it’s in your home it’s different.

We stayed there for a couple of nights last summer, my 3 yo DS has ASD and his stimming involves him thundering up and down the length of a room, for about fifteen minutes. So he did that at about 6pm. The neighbour went BONKERS.

I immediately went down and explained that I was v sorry, it was something he does and that he'll be in bed in thirty minutes and he won't hear a peep after that and also that we were leaving tomorrow anyway.

Tbh I feel much less bad about this now he's been such a consistent jerk to DSis. I might send DS up for a visit.

She's done all she can then. Fuck him. Don't tiptoe round him anymore.