In thinking I might be seen as an accomplice?

[DeloresJaneUmbridge]

I am a Carer, I am usually employed by an agency but for 5 hrs a week I do some private care work for an old friend. She is my age but has several physical disabilities and also severe mental health issues. Primarily my role with her is to get her out of the house once a week. Her choice of where we go and what we do.

So yesterday she wanted to get some shopping in and we went to a locally supermarket (national chain). Now my friend is often in a wheelchair but she is resistant to using it at times (she should as walking long distances causes damage to her spine). Yesterday was one of those days and she wanted to push the trolley ...leaning on this gives her support so I didn't nag her but simply went along with her.

We got what was needed and browsed the special offers too which had several things (non food). My friend picked up an item and added it to her trolley...it was an item well reduced but still over £10.

We went and paid for the Shopping and went back to the car ...my friend still insisted on pushing the trolley....it helps her back so I didn't think anything of it. When we got back to the car she triumphantly pulled out the special offer item which unbeknownst to me she had left deliberately in the trolley and not paid for. I was shocked tbh as I didn't realise she had done this and not sure why she did.

Had a long chat with her after and it turns out she does this a lot. She says she gets a thrill from walking out with something unpaid for. Make up (wear long sleeves and secrete it there). Food being eaten round the store and not paid for (she's never done that in my company), handbags she simply leaves in the trolley as they then look like her bag.

She thinks that as she was pushing the trolley only she would get done if discovered, I am not so sure. Although I am her Carer I am also a friend and they might think I was an accomplice.

I've asked her not to do this when she is with me as I can't cope with the idea of her getting caught.

But if she was to do this ever again in my company and got caught would they think I was "in on it". So AIBU to think this? Any police officers who might know or shop managers?

So cross with her.

I've known her a long time and I adore her children so I can't simply break away from her.

They won't take into account an 'accomplice' for something as minor (in the eyes of the law) as shoplifting. The person caught stealing is punished an no-one else, the police don't have the time or funds to arrest, detain and process several people over something worth a tenner.

You might both get banned from said shop though, as this is at the discretion of the manager and they don't need a solid reason to ban you.

Thank you.

Funnily enough was chatting to another Carer yesterday who has a similar client doing the same. Both with the same mental health issues.

Odd.

As you now know she's doing this , it seems to me that you're in great danger of being charged if she is caught. If you're happy with that, carry on taking her shopping. If it worries you, don't take her to shops any more.
She has MH issues , you don't.

You're going to need to keep a very close eye on her on future shopping trips, if she tries to shoplift again I'd be refusing to take her shopping.

I don't think you need to worry about bed by held legally accountable for her actions, but morally I wouldn't want to be enabling a thief and I'm sure you feel the same.

*being

No I don't at all.

I rarely take her shopping. More common is that I do the shopping for her thankfully. On days she feels well then she goes shopping with her teenage daughter.

I am still a bit gobsmacked to be honest.

I talked to a fellow Carer who also cares for someone with a similar mental health issue and she says she knows he has done the same. She hasn't been aware until afterwards.

Both these clients know right from wrong.

My colleague says she wonders about it being a wrest back of control when they are powerless over other things. A strike back at the world which had damaged them mentally. As I say we were just pondering and that's an interesting point but doesn't make me want to rush into any more shopping trips with her. She says that she doesn't do this all the time but gets a buzz when she does.

My DD works in MH and sometimes does one-to-one care. A lot of her clients shoplift, she's never been seen as an accomplice.

The shops often get to know serial offenders who have disabilities and they don't charge them.

It's not as simple with knowing right from wrong, it's impulse control etc, in some cases. In nearly all of the cases it isn't in the Public's interest to pursue a charge.