A Scary Tale from Tonight

[MichonnesBBF]

Let me set the scene:

Twas a cold snowy night, the male of the house can only sleep with the night light on (IMPORTANT).

I climbed the staircase slowly, trying to miss the squeaky steps (that seem to appear on every bastard step when trying to be quiet),

I finally reach the landing and stand still sure I can hear movement, (I can't, but am really sure I can), I take 3 steps forward with my left ear pointing towards the door I am heading for (why??? I have very good hearing, my doctor said),

Next I place my hand on the door handle (heart hammering all the time, literally can hear and feel every beat), I push it open very quietly.

Then the hard work begins, I am so near, so near (so near I need to say it several times, but still am no were near finished). This is hard, my heart hurts, I need a drink and I want to breath easy...But need to carry on.

I expertly step over the group of cuddly toys (one of the fuckers has a squeak...need to avoid at all costs), then I do a very light and elegant hop/jump over 'Dinosaur World', very quietly gave myself a pat on the back for that move (I am not little). Then Then Fucking Then I meet my nemesis (not just mine, the dogs, the hoovers, the sisters and every buggar else who resides or visits this room), that's right its......

-LEGO-

I take my time to catch my breath, time is against me but I need to do this right...the pressure is on.

After a few seconds I compose myself, (I can do this...Raaaa I can do this), I take a small step forward and start to sweep my left foot from side to side, side to side while walking very slowly and moving the bastard lego quietly out of the way... I did it yes I did it!!!

I am now standing over the male of the house, lightly snoring into his pillow looking so angelic (I love him so, but this is ridiculous, my heart should not be hurting or beating this much...but it is. Oh how I wish it was over).

Now with one hand on the light switch I reach down (nearly nose to nose), I reach under his head (this is the most delicate of times In anyone's life), I have a feel around......Got it I've bloody well got it....

Just as I clasp my sweaty palm around it....His eyes open (Noooooo), He jumps...I jump... we both look into each others eyes scared of the repercussions, (FUCK, FUCK, FUCK).

I give a reassuring smile: "Tis ok I'm just switching your light off...its the middle of the night...go back to bastardsleep" I said.

"Love you...cuddle" he says (really need this over with now...wine is calling), I dutifully give him a cuddle, while using one hand to empty the little pink purse containing the precious pearl I really really need and now really really want...I need to see this through.

I manage to swap the pearl for gold...place the little pink purse back in its place...I give one final squeeze... "Night Night Sleep Tight" I say while knocking the night light off..

Then the fun begins yes I stood on the bastard lego on the way out (styled it out with a little noise and hop?? tripped over 'Dinosaur World knocking it over (who knew it would be that noisy??) then yes fucking yes I stood on the bloody squeaky toy...making me jump, swear and my god my heart is about to pop out of my chest.

"Ok mammy" he says "Yes darling sleep well" I reply (through gritted teeth)..

Finally I reach the long awaited living room, with my now warm wine waiting for me shining like the snowflakes outside, I take a long loooong drink, my heart rate begins to stabilise, I sink into the sofa and try to relax, but one thought keeps running through my mind.

Have I just ruined the magic of the 'Tooth Fairy'?

AIBU in thinking I have just ruined my sons childhood?

PLEASE TUNE IN FOR PART 2 TOMORROW :) :)

I doubt he'll remember

We put the tooth pouch on the chest of drawers for ease

It'll be fine.

Pah you've just reminded me the bastard is due here tonight urgghh

Yes this is why our teeth have always been placed on the side not under a pillow. Tbh I don't think the magic of the tooth fairy is worth nearly amputating your own foot with a lego injury.

Eh? Tooth Fairy takes tooth from next to toothbrush, leaving shiny coin and new toothbrush. Doesn't she?

Whatever happened to salt?

He won’t remember.

Milk - no, it's from under the pillow, I always thought.

Your tooth fairy sounds more sensible however!!

Milk: I love that idea wish I knew of that sooner.

Northern: Foot ok, (wine helps) not the first lego disaster, high probability not the last either.

Talking of gold, as we have not left the house in a couple of days due to the snow. I embarrassingly had to ask my NDN if she had a pound coin I could borrow for the tooth fairy,

She was lovely and gave it to me with a laugh and a look that said 'Been there, done that', she is lovely

the tooth fairy here is a silly bitch, she often forgets the tooth AND hides the coin so well, mammy has to come and be a slight of hand magician and swap the coin for the tooth in the morning whilst the child watches you, because mammy couldn't be arsed/forgot to do it the night before find it.

That’s interesting Emu, we obviously have the same tooth fairy...

She needs to up her game!

Well the magic is still alive :) :) He came downstairs his morning clutching the little pink purse, "Tooth Fairy's Been", he said with a shrug of the shoulders then placed the purse down and asked what was for breakfast...

How little he knows of how hard the Tooth Fairy works (and drinks)

Everybody knows that the Tooth Fairy checks the little tin on the shelf in the bathroom

No way could our tooth fairy leave new tooth brushes. She struggles to make sure she has gold available within 24hrs!! Sometimes she has been known to leave silver totalling the customary value of the gold.

Our tooth fairy couldn't arrive on Wednesday as it was too snowy, plus I didn't have any cash and DD hadnt mentioned having a wobbly tooth until it fell out.

Still waiting for the TF to collect 2 teeth here. Fortunately the dc realised that she wouldn't be able to fly through the snow so we have a few days grace.

Haha loved that. Glad the magic is still alive. Teeth have always been taken from under pillows in this family but I love the toothbrush idea! None of my kids have lost teeth yet so I may steal it.

I remember when the Tooth Fairy left a £5 note under my pillow. My dad told me she had run out of gold and I was to leave her change to come back and collect for other children. I totally believed him as well

See this is why I'm so thankful for DD2 refuse to let any strange 'person' (including father christmas)into her room.

So toothfairy leaves money in an egg cup on the kitchen side and father christmas under a tree on the landing.

Back in the days when my two had baby teeth, we were assigned a highlybunionised tooth fairy. She was always striking about the continual night shifts. They had to wait days for her to arrive at times.

Highly unionised.

I don't know enough about her feet to comment on bunions.

Hehe tooth fairy has bunions, I always thought she would avoid that what with flying everywhere

Well the gold has been spent, I think he may have a scar on his thigh where it was burning a hole in his pocket :)

He quite rightly bought chocolate, spending the whole lot on one large bar of Aero, probably the best thing ever as he has never been allowed to before (his money, his choice).

He also very kindly shared with his sister without being asked (so proud).

"ohh any for me", I ask
"No...the tooth fairy doesn't come to grown ups". (rude child)

"But I do love you", (heart melts)

At least I can enjoy the remaining wine from the fridge uninterrupted and with a steady heart rate tonight. :)