Forgive me. It's long.
My lovely friend, early 60s, lost her DH suddenly a couple of years ago and was so shocked she fell into depression and gave up her job.
She loves her two adult sons and would do anything for them, though one of the DIL is less close, as she has a very tight knit family of her own locally. The son with the 'less friendly' wife has free childcare from my friend, who seems to bend over backwards to maintain close contact even though it isn't really appreciated by son and family. Current issue: Son and less friendly DIL wanted to move to bigger house. Lovely friend has bigger house. Agreed to sell to son and wife for below market value (offsetting against inheritance etc) to get them into their forever home. Friend puts in offer on smaller house but at survey it all falls over as too much to be done. Son's buyer sets date for completion that means if they can't complete by then they lose the sale. Friend agrees to complete so they can move in and not lose their buyer. DIL gets a solicitors' letter stating that friend can't stay in house as it is not hers, and she is forced out.
Son is aware that he can invite my friend to stay but DIL persuades him that it isn't for the best (her DM may want the spare room etc). DIL/close family insist that Friend leaves. She is now paying for storage and staying with friends while house hunting.
DIL is all over FB asking for recommendations for conservatories and builders to sort out her forever home. The village is in uproar. Apart from a couple of 'congrats Hun' friends on her FB page there is a consensus that she/they will never be accepted and that she is a bitch of the highest order.
A group of mutual friends want to intervene. IABU to say no; clearly my friend's priority is maintaining a positive relationship with her son at all cost and all we can do is offer help/support while not getting involved? Frankly I am as incensed as the crowd and would tear her son off a strip if I were alone in the same room as him but it isn't my/our decision is it?