Why does he do this?

[Rosiie]

I have known for a while STBEXH is EA, unfortunately we’re still living together. But one of the things he does is so weird.

Like today I woke up with a really bad neck, must have been the way I’ve slept. It hurts when I move. Anywho, DS was sitting in his high chair behind me, and STBEXH goes “ look at DS..” and then goes on to say “ you’re so fat you can’t even turn around to look at your own DS” then walks off. And I’m sitting there like what the fuck just happened? 15 min later, he’s in the kitchen asking me about my opinion on something as if nothing had happened.

He does this often, will shout and call me names then 10 min later ask me if I want a cup of tea. Again as if nothing had happened.

God, he sounds awful.

Why does he do it? Who knows really, he's a bastard, that insults you so regularly, it doesn't even register for him.

Sooner you live apart the better

Because he's an abusive shit. Because he wants to mess with your head. Because it suits him for you to be in a constant state of "is he going to be nice or nasty?" anxiety. Because if he isn't vile 100% of the time, when you pick him up on his vileness he can point to the times he acts nice and be all wounded and innocent.

Most abusive men do it in cycles, it keeps the Woman in the relationship and its a head fuck.

Why are you still living together?

I have no choice Birds, until I can afford to move out.

Another form of EA. As soon as you are able to, leave

Good question - there's a book with exactly that name:
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/217475-why-does-he-do-that-inside-the-minds-of-angry-and-controlling-men

Insideousider thank you for the link above, will order the book. I just quickly read some of the quotes, and this one really stood out for me.

"Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person"

When I'm angry about something and I confront him, he will make me feel like I'm in the wrong, when in reality he's in the wrong and I end up doubting myself and what I was confronting him about.