Grandparents stuffing children with sweets

[eeanne]

AIBU to wonder why some grandparents think feeding children and endless supply of chocolate is OK?

Not really a MIL rant but DC1 (2yrs old) vomited twice yesterday. I am ill so was in bed most of the day and missed all this, but upon investigation have learned she gave her loads of sweets (cookies, chocolate from a selection box, cake, doughnuts, M&Ms). The last time DC randomly vomited like that was after eating a load of chocolate cake after dinner so I have reason to suspect the sweets as the cause.

But all my friends also seem to deal with at least 1 GP who behaves the same. WHY? What’s wrong with one cookie or a few bites of chocolate? I’m not anti-sweet but a small child has a small stomach! Seems bloody obvious to me that you can’t fill it to the brim with junk.

I sympathise as DF gives DD more than I'd like. Not to that extent but I still think 5 jelly babies and a chocolate digestive is too much for a 2 year old! I try to say "one sweetie and a savoury cracker", but she's not dim; she's learned to ask again when I go to the toilet or something. Sigh.

It's even more annoying as my parents were super strict about treats when I was a child. I only ever got sweets at Christmas, birthdays and an Easter egg. Grrrrr!

This used to drive me nuts with my mil. I'd desperately be trying to give the dc a healthy diet and every week mil would turn up with 6 months supply of sweets.
DS2 went through a period of being a bit overweight as a young teen so both he and I were trying to reverse that and he didn't want the house being filled up with chocolate either - it was hard for him.

I asked mil to buy them just one little choc bar each if she absolutely must buy stuff and if she wanted to get more things, could she get them fruit or a magazine.
My mum can be just as bad - she decides to go diet healthy eating plan but can't bear to throw all her junk away so dumps it here. I keep telling her that I don't want it either. I wouldn't mind so much, but she nags me to eat better!

Could she be allergic to chocolate? It sounds as though that is a common denominator - I am allergic to cocoa solids and it makes me itchy and if I overdo it I vomit.

Possible she’s allergic or at least sensitive to it. She doesn’t normally eat much of it so it hasn’t been an issue until this visit from the in-laws

Every time my mum comes to see us she brings 3x 4 packs of double deckers and 3x 4 packs of mars bars for my dc - we will generally still have most of the ones from last time in the cupboard, as we really don't eat that much chocolate. I'm pretty sure she gives them loads of junk when I'm not there, but usually she is babysitting and doing us a favour, so I turn a blind eye. We were never given that much chocolate as children! No idea why she suddenly thinks it's ok to give children a load of crap to eat. My pil give them loads of money instead, which I don't particularly like either - it's a £20 note each every time we see fil (very regularly) and my dc are all under 10 and really don't need that sort of money, plus it's making them expectant - I suppose I'll appreciate it more when they are teens!

The expectant thing does become a problem. I wanted my dc to be happy to see their gps because they love them, not because they get tons of stuff.

I don’t know why this happens. My own mother brought us up on a healthy diet yet she gives my kids tarte tatin for breakfast....

I wanted my dc to be happy to see their gps because they love them, not because they get tons of stuff.

I worry about this too. My parents don’t act this way and I don’t want them to be compared unfavorably.

My own mother brought us up on a healthy diet yet she gives my kids tarte tatin for breakfast....

At least she has good taste! 😂

Yanbu.

My mother has form for this.

When DB had his first child (30 years ago next week!), she bought said child an Easter egg, some four weeks after his birth, and fully expected her DDIL to “rub it on his gums”. Funnily enough, that didn’t happen.

DM is equally as obsessed with giving ours sweets/ chocolate. We only see them in the school hols, so we usually get given a carrier bag full. Up until fairly recently, both ds’s would get a carrier bag full of Easter eggs each.

We visited my parents in the feb hols, as it was my dads birthday. We went out for a slap up meal, with a huge pudding. We got back to their house, and my mum made tea and got out a plate of caramel wafers. Which immediately the kids want. Sometimes I don’t understand where she puts her sense.

The only conclusion I can come to is that both my parents we subject to the food rationing / shortages as children during the war and its to do with that. You are right to be frustrated. It’s absoluyely nuts.

As a gran I don’t do this I think it’s very silly. We have a big fruit bowl and grand kids pick a peice.

However my lovely mil had a ‘cookie jar’ full of very small choc treats that all the grandchildren could choose one from. Only one!!

At her funeral all the 12 grandchildren mentioned this. It was a lovely memory

So I think it’s all about being sensible. Treats in moderation and ask mum or dad first

What does she say when you talk to her about it?

My kids gps would maybe bring a treat but not enough to make the kids sick!
Was your MIL looking after your dd while you were ill or did her dad stand by and let her eat all the junk as well?
I think you need to mention that you know she’s likes to spoil her gc but she was sick last time so couldn’t she keep it to one treat in future. If she doesn’t listen then you’ll just have to make sure you don’t leave your dd in her care.

If your illness is a vomittung bug though be prepared for her to argue that that was the cause of the vomiting!

Also a handy lesson for the ill children to stop being such a glutton

Every time my mum comes to see us she brings 3x 4 packs of double deckers and 3x 4 packs of mars bars for my dc

Christ. Why don't you tell her to stop and, if she continues, just throw them away?

My pil give them loads of money instead, which I don't particularly like either - it's a £20 note each every time we see fil

Christ. Why don't you tell him to stop and, if he continues, just put it in the bank?

Wait til she starts school..... it gets worse

Caulk she says she only gave a little bit and that I’m being uptight.

PorkFlute DH was at work all day. In-laws are visiting for 2 weeks and the junk food has been an issue the whole time but the day I was lying in bed with a fever, MIL really let loose and went crazy with the snacks as I wasn’t around to observe.

And it’s def not a bug, no sweets today and no vomiting. This morning I said “hi MIL let’s not give any sweets because her stomach is unsettled” and she got a bit huffy and acted offended. Whatever, I don’t want my toddler sick!