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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that not every woman needs to be a role model?

18 replies

dogmom666 · 01/03/2018 22:40

Thanks to social media and the likes, it is now expected of every woman to be a role model to young girls. Celebs are chastised for posting the slightest cleavage because think of the children. Why should every woman live up to this ideal?

OP posts:
ButteredScone · 01/03/2018 22:41

Well, it depends. You have to be a role model to children in your care, for example.

dogmom666 · 01/03/2018 22:42

I mean in the sense of strangers/famous people. Not people close to said child.

OP posts:
upsideup · 01/03/2018 22:46

YANBU, I hate it when parents try and place responsability for their children on strangers and celebrities. My children are mine and DH's responsability, and only we should be expected to be good role models to them, which includes educated and guiding them away from some strangers or celebrities that we dont belive are good role models for them

CavoliRiscaldati · 01/03/2018 22:49

It depends on the celebrity. Expecting someone like Kate Middleton to behave like a lady is not too much to ask, asking Lauren Goodger not so much.

DalekDalekDalek · 01/03/2018 22:49

I think you have a responsibility to be a role model if you chose to be in the public eye. I'm not sure that that includes not showing a little cleavage though and I've never heard anyone chastising a celebrity for showing a little cleavage!

DalekDalekDalek · 01/03/2018 22:52

Not all role models have to be the same though and they don't have to fit into a narrow set of expectations.

WonderLime · 01/03/2018 22:55

Well aren’t most celebs a role to someone? You can be a role model for any reason - it doesn’t have to be for dressing in a ‘ladylike’ fashion and spending all your free time at charity events.

CavoliRiscaldati · 01/03/2018 22:56

There's also a happy medium between being a role model and trivialiasing unacceptable behaviour. A celeb should not promote drunk driving for example.

BackforGood · 01/03/2018 23:06

it is now expected of every woman to be a role model to young girls

Eh ?

Exaggeration, much ?
Bit of a leap there, OP.

MistressDeeCee · 01/03/2018 23:30

It happens to both women and men. It's envy of youth, fame and money that makes people assume a God-given right to dictate how and what a person they don't even know, should be. They believe the person has to do 'payback' for good fortune - so they hang a label.on them as a metaphorical stick to beat them with should they step out of line and not be 'good' enough.

If you're a singer you're a singer, actor ditto. Role model isn't the job title.

Some people need to clutch onto all this though so they'll justify, or pretend they don't know you're talking about celebs. Anything rather than admit the ridiculousness of it all...thinking they're judge and jury to someone they'll likely never ever meet, and doesn't even know they exist.

KC225 · 02/03/2018 07:57

I loathe the notion of 'role models' in the public eye. There may be the careers, achievements, awards and dizzy heights of people you admire or follow but why should they be a role model.

I think people in the public eye should be mindful of their appeal and fanbase if they want to continue ie DANTDM his fanbase is very young - so there is no swearing, nothing inappropriate.

Enuffsenuffsenuff · 02/03/2018 08:01

Totally agree. It's just a way of policing women and holding them to a standard men aren't expected to adhere to. 'Bad boys' (I.e. Men who do what they want) get adoration and attention, women who do what they want get pursed lips and disapproving remarks about the example they're setting.

It's for parents to set a good example to their children and teach them how to behave, not random celebrities who have nothing to do with them.

corythatwas · 02/03/2018 08:24

I think anyone, male or female, whose income depends to a great extent on young fans- footballers, children's TV presenters, singers aiming at a young audience etc- should accept that with that comes the role modelling job: if you don't want it, don't take the money. Other people, not so much.

The truth is, a lot of the income of e.g. football is generated by deliberately targeting and encouraging the star worship of young people and persuading the parents that this a good way to spend money.

If singers' agents and football clubs stopped purposefully making money this way, if they allowed their singers and players to be seen as anonymous workers whose lives (and paraphernalia) were of no interest whatsoever, because all that matters is the game/the music, that's fair enough. But they're not going to do that, are they?

There are actors out there who manage to stay fairly anonymous, despite being top quality. But they do it by foregoing money they could have made on things that are nothing to do with their jobs. They do it by accepting that the moment they stop being top at their job, there will be no money coming in from any source. And no recognition, either. Fair play to them, but it's clearly not for everyone.

As for Royal Family, I imagine not only a comfortable life but a whole lot of their self esteem depends on the idea that they are serving the nation by being in the public eye. So they have to be in the public eye, then, and do it in such a way as to genuinely serve the nation= be good role models. If not, then accept that they are serving no purpose at all as a royal family.

RoadToRivendell · 02/03/2018 08:26

I agree. It's one of many eye-rolling aspects of celebrity worship.

MistressDeeCee · 02/03/2018 09:31

People really need to stop looking for ways to hold others up to particular moral standards.

Birdsgottafly · 02/03/2018 09:37

But footballers aren't held to the same standards f behavior that female Clebs are.

Its just a bigger reflection of the everyday sexism that exists.

Most female stats ate young Women. They are entitled to choose their own sex life etc, without being shamed.

corythatwas · 02/03/2018 16:55

absolutely agree with that, Birdsgottafly

and the whole idea that enjoying sex is somehow shameful if you're a woman but absolutely part of your role if you're a man

AngelsSins · 02/03/2018 17:04

Totally agree, men in the public eye aren't held anywhere close to the same standard.

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