AIBU not to drive in this weather?

[VelvetSpoon]

Or rather not to drive from Kent to Essex and back (via the Dartford Tunnel/ bridge) for a funeral tomorrow?

I'm a fairly inexperienced driver in a little old banger of a car. Although I know the main roads will be clear, the location of the funeral is down a series of country lanes. I suspect the conditions on those aren't great.

However if I don't drive, I am not sure I can get there by train, our station is closed today and no guarantee it will be open tomorrow. And even if I can get a train into London and then back out, I'll need to get a bus/ have a long walk in the snow at the other end.

I will feel shitty if I don't go, but equally I don't want to have an accident in my car, or get stranded either in my car or public transport.

WWYD?

If you don't feel comfortable driving in the weather then don't go and don't feel bad about it. The weather is exceptionally bad and people will understand. I tend to get worked up about stuff like this but it's really not usually an issue for people. You could always wait and see if things are improved tomorrow but if not don't worry about not going.

Ds1, who is a confident driver and has a newish car, lives in Kent and works up at Dartford, and he is working from home at the moment because he doesn't think it is safe to drive, so I would not blame you in the slightest for not going - as @Snowdropspring says, I am sure people will understand why you can't make it.

I'm in Essex. I really wouldn't risk it OP. Been snowing all morning here on top of the compacted snow. I'm in a town and there are no cars on the road. I wouldn't risk rural roads.

I was due to work in Essex today. No way!

YANBU at all.

No, you are being perfectly reasonable.

My car is fitted with winter tyres, heated seats and heated washer jets. I still wouldn't do the journey you describe.

One thing that's interesting about bad conditions is that confident drivers of capable cars stay home unless they absolutely have to go out, while nervous drivers of inappropriate cars appear unable to make that decision.

DH has driven from Kent to London today for work (despite my strong suggestion that he worked from home). He’s an experienced driver with a four wheel drive suv. He said the journey was pretty bad, lots of cars having difficulty around him, plus his screenwash froze so he couldn’t clear his windscreen properly.

I’m like you, not a very experienced driver with a small, non four wheel drive. I’ve opted to keep DD at home today because the roads around the school won’t be cleared, no way would I drive over to Essex.

Stay home.

Don't go, it's not worth the stress or the risk.

Not sure what to do as everyone is telling me all the roads are clear. Main roads yes but I suspect the lanes won't be.

Our station is shut again tomorrow too. Even though every other station on the line is open . So I will have to drive to another station to get the train.

everyone is telling me all the roads are clear.

But it's going to be very, very cold tonight, and circumstances can change quite quickly.

Funerals are for the living. It's entirely your choice whether you go. Anyone who, in these or any other circumstances, decides to give you grief over not going isn't worth worrying about. If it's someone whose funeral you absolutely feel you have to go to, you will be willing to take more risk than if it's someone whose funeral does not mean quite so much. That's your decision, not anyone else's.

I'm in Essex, cars are stuck in snow drifts on fairly major roads atm, although most roads were clear this morning.

I don't envy you, I think that's a hard decision but I don't have any plans to take a car out tomorrow.

I wouldn’t, if you don’t feel confident stay home and send condolences. The roads will likely be icy in the morning and fresh snow is due in the afternoon. Sorry for your loss

Yes much of Essex is rather ropey at the moment mainly because of the high winds causing really poor visibility and drifting snow. More snow is expected tomorrow.

And even if you consider train or bus, the coverage of those, greater anglia and first bus, has been patchy if non existent at times since yesterday.

I'm a very confident driver and even I have been reluctant to drive in this weather. The main roads are fine but the side roads are so slippy.

I'm a competent winter driver, but I know my car isn't the best for these conditions. And even if I am ok, I still need all the other drivers to also be ok and not crash into me, and I've had too many near misses in the past to be confident of that. So I'm not driving unless I absolutely have to.

Knowing your own capabilities and staying within them is neither foolishness nor cowardice - it's very sensible.

Unless you are an experienced driver in a four wheel drive and it’s an emergency then you would be a bloody idiot to try driving in this weather.

Wait until tomorrow to decide. Don’t take any risks. But if it’s a funeral, get there if possible.

It's only about 7 miles north of the tunnel. At the moment the buses seem to be running. I really do need to go but I think it's going to have to be by public transport.