To let this effect me....

[Nutellaand]

So I work in a public service job, and have done for the last 11 years. I’m very used to the fact that some people out there arnt very nice to people, and often just put it down to people having a bad day / issues in their own life.

However two days ago a customer was very rude and unreasonable to me. We have a no swearing / abuse policy and he was ejected. However before that point he called me a ‘fat b**ch’.

This comment really effected me and I burst into tears, I was so embarrassed as I never get upset at work. However even when I got home I was still tearful. I thought it was just a bad day and then next day I would be ok.
The next day I was at the gym and looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. I’m supposed to be seeing a friend today (a guy) but I just don’t feel up to it. I am suddenly so paranoid about my weight. But then I feel stupid for letting someone effect me this way! I’m normally a very strong woman but this has just thrown me. Am I being silly?

Note (not that I think it’s relevant): I’m a size 10/12 and admittedly I have put on some weight recently. I go to the gym and try and eat healthy when I can.

No!! You're not being unreasonable at all. This is awful.

I've had it happen to me before, I was a size 8 at the time AND I still felt the need to go on a diet & lose weight. Horrible how one thing another person says can affect you. 10/12 is not in any way fat, don't think that. You're beautiful as you are!

Go meet the guy. Apparently psychologically, speaking to members of the opposite sex helps boost our confidence.

Put your lipstick on (if you like wearing it haha) dress up & get yourself out and chatting to whomever!

Don't over analyse your body now because of some moron. Love yourself & stay healthy & happy. [flower]

"Fat Bitch" is a go to insult for a lot of Men because they know it gets to Women. Its said to Women of all shapes and sizes and its extra useful because it doesn't break any 'Ism'.

Is there anything else going on that's made you internalise this, as deep as you have?

Exactly Birds. Fat bitch is the most unimaginative insult, the default insult if you like. It has no bearing on you, only that you're a woman. If he'd said something more unusual and personal then it would be worth getting upset over. 'Fat bitch' only says he was an angry twat.

@birdsgottafly I’ve also just been going through a break up. So I suppose it’s been a rough time and my self esteem is probably just a bit lower than it normally is.

@iloveabiccy thanks for response. I am never ever rude to people who work in healthcare / retail / restaurants etc because I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end. It’s like people just forget we have feelings too!

That’s horrible and I can understand why it upset you but please try to remember that he wouldn’t have said that based on anything about you it would have been just his go to insult.
I work in a job where we unfortunately get a bit of verbal abuse and often the insults don’t make sense as it’s just what the person has randomly thought of.

Yes I think your right, probably just random. As he said a lot of other things aswell but it’s the fat bitch one that stuck with me.

Thanks anyway guys I feel a lot better to have shared it - no more crying today! I’m going to go and have a me day 😊

I'm so sorry this happened to you but I agree with everyone else - it's just a default insult and reflects his lack of imagination as well as his pathetic misogyny.

I struggle with this myself - you end up internalising it. But try to remember that it's a reflection of a much bigger picture (ie contempt for women that we unfortunately buy into ourselves).

He would have used that same insult even if you had been the skinniest woman in the world - he used it because he knew it would hurt you, it's just something he knew he could say that he believed would automatically hit a woman where it hurts.

It reflects on him and shows him to be a pathetic and nasty human being. Forget him - he's not worth your time or energy. Don't let him win!

Vile little man. I would love to a size 10/12. That is slender unless you’re a midget. It sounds like you might have a little body image insecurity. Go and treat yourself to something confidence boosting.
I’m sure you’re beautiful.

Enjoy your Me day, much needed! :)

Also Doris, totally agree!

What a silly little maggot of a man he is. You aren't remotely fat and why would you give a shiny shit what some vile foul mannered lunatic thinks of you? Are you feeling insecure post breakup thus this comment hitting so hard?