Here's a little something on statistics to check out, KhanAcademy again... are you sure you need the lot, or that you will just need a few pieces here and there, like a little something about Anova and linear regression? It makes a huge difference to your decision about what to do.
What do you need in terms of programming? I would also have thought, like you, that a bit of Python might not be too bad. Break it down in small pieces and see if you can work your way around the requirements one by one, probably the students won't need all of their knowledge from, say, a statistics class to get by, but just some minor part. But, it's so much easier for the ones arranging the course to just say you need this and that in big chunks (like that you need "multivariate statistics"). It could be the case, but it could also be the case that you only need a small piece of it, a piece that's within your grasp.