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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give 4 and a half month old porridge

161 replies

usernameunavailable · 28/02/2018 21:14

My DD is 4 and a half month old. She wakes 3 times during the night to feed. I offer her 5 ounce and she drinks 4 - 4.5, so she truly is waking to feed. I have been told that mixing some baby porridge in with formula before bedtime will help her sleep longer. However now a days your advised to wait until 6 month to give baby any sort of food, but baby porridge says 4 month+ on packaging.

Dunno what to do for the best. WWYD? Let baby wake for feeds or try and fill up more before sleep?

OP posts:
throwcushions · 28/02/2018 23:15

I'm slightly bemused that QueenNef is being so harsh to you re SIDS when she mentions she is cosleeping which I assume means bed sharing which the Lullaby Trust recommend against. Don't take it to heart OP. Just do the best you can with the information (and house space) available to you.

RachelRosie · 28/02/2018 23:15

Hey OP,

Just wanted to throw a bit of support your way. I think you've taken the constructive advice on this thread very well.

It's frustrating when new mums are constantly told "don't expect baby to sleep through" ... some do, some don't. Wanting baby to sleep through certainly does not make you a bad parent it makes you human.

People do not know what type of night/week/month you have had and putting more guilt on a new mum is never a good thing.

Also, everything has a certain amount of risk, it sounds like you are taking every reasonable step in line with home set up and circumstance.

There is a lot of conflicting advice on early solids. Some studies again are now suggesting reverting back to 4 months as a way to reduce allergies but this is not the advice in this country. If you and baby are happy to wait 6 months then great.

I did start mine a bit early as she was grabbing food off my plate but I took very small baby steps to ensure she was coping ok with the food. It seemed to be OK for us but I am certainly no expert. And it had little effect on her sleep.

Hopefully, the advice you have been getting from Verbena will help :)

Weebo · 28/02/2018 23:17

I wouldn't wake her if she's in a good sleep.

Give it a go if she seems unsettled but let her sleep as much as she needs.

Tattybogle89 · 28/02/2018 23:17

Is baby winded after a feed?! I can’t imagine feeding a baby from a bottle lying flat? My baby burps so much every couple of ounces and wakes straight back up if out doen with wind.
You may finding she won’t take any more milk out the bottle because she is backed up with wind and needs to get it out before continuing, if this is the case?

Tattybogle89 · 28/02/2018 23:18

Wakes if put straight down with wind*

QueenDramaLlama · 28/02/2018 23:30

Wait until 6 months.
The only reason that packaging says 4months is because they want to make money!
I had a non sleeper, I was told to feed him and he'd sleep. I held out until 6 months and food didn't make a difference to his sleep at all.

amyrose00 · 28/02/2018 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WeAllHaveWings · 28/02/2018 23:36

The guidelines were not 3 months 14 years ago. They changed from 4 to 6 months in 2003 as that's when dd was born.

Thanks for the correction, but I know what I was told by my HV at the time in early 2004. It probably took a while for the message to filter through all health boards. It was well over a decade ago, does a couple of months here or there really matter 🙄.

Original poster
usernameunavailable · 28/02/2018 23:36

Thanks you throwcushions & Rachelrosie. Tatty yes I feed her lying down but I don't burp her. Maybe I should

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 28/02/2018 23:48

Doesn't make them sleep longer. Milk is actually more filling and nutritious.

Tattybogle89 · 28/02/2018 23:51

Just an idea op. My baby is 3months and takes around half his bottle before squirming a little (or if asleep, not as much) so I take him off the bottle and burp him over my shoulder. The more sleepy he is the harder he can be to wind. As soon as he burps, he finishes the bottle easier. (6/7oz) but is a big baby.
I would be concerned about lying down feeding especially with wind, incase o baby being sick flat on back and the possibility of choking.(especially with you not in the room)

PorkFlute · 28/02/2018 23:54

Ywbu to start weaning early without it being medically advised imo.

QueenNefertitty · 01/03/2018 00:11

@throwcushions

The risk of SIDS when practicing safe, planned bedsharing has never been proven to increase without another independent risk factor (smoking, alcohol, medication etc).

Countries where bedsharing is routine eg in South Asia, east Asia, have lower rates of SIDS than the US where bedsharing is anathema.

Here's a good overview:

kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping/

What HAS been proven, is that a separate room is not as safe as the same room for under six month olds.

I wasn't giving the OP a hard time- I was offering advice - not to be a bitch, but because she seems like a mum who wangs what's best for her baby. And my advice was that the same room would be best. And yes- the same bed if there are no other risk factors- even better.

QueenNefertitty · 01/03/2018 00:12

I would also advise the OP to wind her baby, but suspect I'll be accused of sticking the boot in for that too.

Garmadonsmum · 01/03/2018 00:30

I'm confused, you would be stepping over the cot to go to the loo? I'm thinking of one of you (can guess which one Wink but you could alternate] sleeping in the baby's room, not the baby sleeping with in your room. It's not much longer if you can it would be worth it for the peace of mind.

throwcushions · 01/03/2018 02:41

QueenNefertitty, it does read back like you were giving her a hard time. As I said the Lullaby Trust and the NHS both agree that bed sharing is not the safest option for sids and suffocation, that is the guideline in this country. But if it works for you then go for it, that's your business. There's clearly a reason why you aren't following that particular guideline and it's not my place to tell you that you should be, especially when you haven't asked my advice. The OP specifically asked you to treat her in that way too but you continued to call her out for not following the guidelines.

Thisimmortalcurl · 01/03/2018 02:52

I’m quite old school on weaning however all my babies were big bruisers, I had them in different guideline times 1995/97 and 2008 and offered them a little solids when they were all between 4 and 5 months and actually it did work for me. They did sleep longer . I would never put solids in bottles though.
I’ll be flamed but I don’t and have never really got the 6 month thing .
As I say though my kids are quite old though and I get parenting has become much more of a mind field. They are all perfectly healthy though,

Absofrigginlootly · 01/03/2018 03:01

As I said the Lullaby Trust and the NHS both agree that bed sharing is not the safest option for sids and suffocation, that is the guideline in this country.

That's not actually true. The lullaby trust recognizes that "cosleeping" encompasses many different forms and blanket recommendations to "do it/definitely don't do it" are unhelpful and don't reflect the evidence (please see UNICEF leaflet below - which is clearly endorsed by the lullaby trust).

What the SIDS research clearly and consistently shows is that a baby sleeping in the same room as it's parents reduces the risk of SIDS by A HALF

throwcushions · 01/03/2018 03:12

It Is true. It says it on both of their websites very clearly that the safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own cot in the parents room. There was also a study in 2013 that found that bed sharing increases the risk of sids fivefold even among parents who do not smoke and where the mother is breastfeeding, for a baby under 3 months old. Of course none of us are living in a perfect world and we're all just doing the best we can with the information available to us. I just don't think it's fair to call the OP out on something she doesn't want advice on and where she has explained her reasons for doing as she's doing.

Absofrigginlootly · 01/03/2018 03:12

OP you might find this leaflet useful and reassuring about how often young babies are supposed to wake up to feed.

It is not a "problem" that requires a "solution" despite what many western sleep/baby "experts" would have you believe because it sells books and makes them money

In relation to SIDS:
See page 11 and 12 where it talks about the risk of sids and sleeping in the same room as parents for at least 6 months. I agree with PP, a breathing monitor will do nothing to actually prevent or reduce the risk of SIDS, it just provides false reassurance

Absofrigginlootly · 01/03/2018 03:17

There was also a study in 2013 that found that bed sharing increases the risk of sids fivefold even among parents who do not smoke and where the mother is breastfeeding, for a baby under 3 months old.

Truely and genuinely love to read that study - do you have a link? Ive read extensively on the subject both professionally and personally and never heard of that.

I know that sounds sarcastic, I'm not being. I would genuinely like to read that study

throwcushions · 01/03/2018 03:20

Not sure what your point is. None of that research negates what I'm saying. But it's interesting so thank you for sharing.

throwcushions · 01/03/2018 03:22

Of course. I don't have a link to the published results but the NHS published a good summary when it was being reported in the media so hopefully it points you to where you can read the whole thing. Apologies as I don't know how to make the link clickable. www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/sharing-a-bed-with-your-baby-ups-risk-of-cot-death/

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