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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social dilemma: AIBU and how should I handle it?

11 replies

EdinaMonsoon · 28/02/2018 17:18

Friend A and I have arranged a night out. Received a msg asking me if I minded if her Friend B comes along too. I don't want to spend time with Friend B. I have been out with Friend B on a couple of occasions (with Friend A) and I don't like her. How on earth do I resolve this given that Friend A & B are very close?

OP posts:
rothbury · 28/02/2018 17:20

Say you were hoping it would just be the two of you.

FrancisCrawford · 28/02/2018 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DalekDalekDalek · 28/02/2018 17:20

If you definitely don't want to go then I think it's probably best to make an excuse not to. I don't think I would tell A that you don't want to go because of B.

QuiteLikely5 · 28/02/2018 17:21

The fact is she wants this other person to come along

Were you and B previously close?

MrsElvis · 28/02/2018 17:22

Why does she want B coming? Is she not aware or not agree with you B s behaviour isn't cool?

Original poster
EdinaMonsoon · 28/02/2018 17:22

Dalek - No don't worry - I certainly wouldn't do that! I can be socially awkward but even I wouldn't go that far Grin

I had thought about saying I was hoping it would be just the two of us but wondered if that sounded a bit clingy & weird?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/02/2018 17:24

Just be firm and as suggested politely state
‘ was looking forward to catching up the 2 of us - can you meet B another time ?’

RatherBeRiding · 28/02/2018 17:24

If A & B are very close, you are likely going to end up as third wheel. A obviously wants B there but it wasn't originally arranged like that.

In that situation I would either make an excuse, or do as francis suggests but maybe word it as "maybe you and I can catch up just the two of us another time".

Original poster
EdinaMonsoon · 28/02/2018 17:25

QuiteLikely No never been close. In fact we have only met on 5 occasions.

MrsElvis TBH I have probably been too polite in the past and not said when I have had an issue with some of the crass talk etc. I just feel very uncomfortable around her. I have never said anything to Friend A because they have been friends for such a long time that I wouldn't want to put her in that position, iysim?

OP posts:
Original poster
EdinaMonsoon · 28/02/2018 17:27

Okay, I'm going in with a reply as suggested of "do you mind if we have a catch up just the two of us - it's been ages - and arrange to meet Friend B another time?"

Wish me luck! I flippin' hate this kind of scenario.

OP posts:
BellyBean · 28/02/2018 17:31

Would rather just us tonight, maybe next time? Presumably she's asked you and is prepared circuit to prefer Not?

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