5 year old suicidal? Wwyd?

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Or was it just a flippant comment?

My child informed me casually today that their friend "wants to kill themselves"

Without making too big a deal I asked my child what they thought it meant and mine does have some understanding of what death means

Do I speak to mum? Teachers? Butt out and was probably just flippant comment?

I'd talk to the teacher. It may fit in with other facts and lead to help someone who needs it. It may be nothing.
I don't think I could ignore it.

I’m sure it was just a flippant comment, but if it were me I might mention it to the teacher. Just in a “i’m Sure the children were joking around but...” kind of way. No harm in saying something, but if the child is distressed about something, it would be good to have an adult keep and eye on them.

need more context! 5 year olds can sometimes say some very random things.... did your child say what the conversation had been leading up to that?

It could very well have been a flippant comment but you should be able to tell that from the context.
Id be worried if it were something the child had said a few times or was bringing up themselves or was part of a generally death focused conversation.

I couldn't ignore that. It's not something that would be the norm for a 5 year old - could be something they've overheard and not really understood but I would feel uneasy. Mention it to the teacher.

If you know mum, I'd tell her. If not just mention it to the teacher in a "thought I should mention it" kind of way.

I initially thought flippant comment when my child explained what was happening at the time it was said but don't want to put more details online in case I identify the child and do decide to speak to teachers and mum is a mumsnetter.

You go to the school website and see if they have a named person for safeguarding, often called a Key Adult and you email them.

If not you talk to the class teacher in the morning - your first sentence should alert them to the nature of your issue e.g. "I need to talk to you about a safeguarding issue" or "I need to speak to your named person for safeguarding"

Don't worry about making a fuss, being seen to be odd. You don't need to consider any of that. You just need to report what you have been told, factually, to someone at the school.

Or you could phone the NSPCC or Childline to get some advice and a helping hand.

I’d ask to speak to the School safeguarding officer (their name should be up on the school website or ask at the office without saying why you need them other than to report a concern). They are trained to deal with exactly this sort of scenario, and may already be aware.

My 5 year old DS said this and had an elaborate plan on how he was going to do it. He needed intervention. He was suffering with anxiety and a depressive episode following the loss of an aunt and his very beloved Grandma in quick succession. He had play therapy, Counselling and saw a Psychiatrist, and had some medication. It took about 18 months to get fully fit and well.

5 year olds can and do feel suicidal and it is to do with their mental well being.

My son is 11 now and whilst remembers seeing the drs etc, can't remember feeling like he did.

Report to the teacher so that they can approach the parents.

If you felt it was a flippant comment then actually I wouldnt draw too much attention to it tbh. That can stand to make these types of things worse by making the child feel ashamed or making them more curious about the concept of what they have actually said. At this young its very unlikely she has a real understanding of what she said. Especially if the context gave no cause for alarm and she had not previously said it or said it since.

I think at the most, if I knew her parent/s reasonably well id just have a word with them about it but in a low key way...ie 'my child said a funny thing about something your child said the other day'..... so that it was flagged up with them so they could look out for any more things like that which may indicate problems.

I really dont think I would go through safeguarding unless there was any context which made me feel like I should. Just because someone might then end up having to have a talk with the child which could be more harmful than positive if the situation really was flippant....Which it sounds like you actually think it was.
They do have to check stuff like this out so Id use your common sense before reporting it as a safeguarding issue. If you think that it was just a throwaway comment id contact the parent if you know them or the teacher if you know them... just so someone is keeping an eye out for anything else. In the case of a throwaway comment I think their being an official record of it could cause more harm than good.

I was suicidal at/from age 5. I was flabergasted to find out in my late 20s when i finally got treatment that this wasn't normal.

I do personally think likely to be a throwaway comment but I just don't know if I should ignore it

I don't really want to raise it with my child again in case it puts focus where it isn't necessary

Better safe than sorry, even if it was a flippant comment.

I sometimes make decisions based upon the basis of 'would I regret it if I do X or would I regret it if I don't?' and in this case, it doesn't seem to be the type of issue that you would regret raising but could regret if the comment was not flippant. If the child was my DC, I would definitely want to know.

It has bothered you enough to post here. So you should do something, even if for the purely selfish reason of not feeling guilty or scared of any 'what ifs'

But yes, you are right. You don't need to talk about it to your own child any more. That isn't necessary.

Wait til they are in bed and call Childline, talk to someone who can help you!

I dont think its a case of choosing between ignoring it or making a big deal out of it. Is there anything you can do just to flag it up with someone involved?
Do you know the childs parents or have the type of relationship with the teacher where you could bring it up in a casual way? Just to get some input or to get them to keep an eye on the child to see if they said anything else like that.
It might be best to do nothing formal if you think it was a throwaway comment but still probably a good thing to get someone to keep an eye on the child anyway as there is a slim chance it could be part of a bigger issue.

I've had this from my child (similar age). He is um, dramatic to say the least.

I don't think he really gets what he is saying though as he often tells me I have killed when I ask him to stand up, go to his room, stop watching Rescuebots etc.

Tbh, I don't think the parents involved would be annoyed if you gave a vague outline on here as you're trying to help? Unless you think abuse is involved, in which case definitely say something to teachers.

WHat about calling child-line and asking their opinion?

I think 5 is the age when they start to learn about things like death and killing and I think (or I hope) they were just using as a new thing they had learnt but didnt yet completely understand rather than being serious.

I don't know parent well enough to know how she would react if I informed her myself...

No I don't suspect abuse

Please don't ignore it.
I work in a school.
Please take it to the safe guarding officer often the Headteacher. If you take it to the class teacher s/ he should take it to safe guarding. There maybe a lot more about this child and therefore it needs reporting. It may be a cry for help. People that are trained in safe guarding are best able to make these decisions. I am.

As others have said speak to the safeguarding officer.

I would tell the school and leave them to deal with it. The child may need help, or it may mean nothing, but it needs someone who knows what they are doing to check it out sensitively.

It has bothered you enough to post here. So you should do something, even if for the purely selfish reason of not feeling guilty or scared of any 'what ifs'

I think this hits the nail on the head.

Probably worth mentioning to somebody. He might not even know what it means, my DS is four (nearly five) and would occasionally tell me he didn't want to kill me and after he'd said it a few times I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out he didn't.

He knows now, and does know about death because our cat died last year.

Yeah. My child can on occasion exaggerate what's going on and is fairly dramatic themselves

On the other hand this child has apparently said a few things according to my child that have made me raise an eyebrow but I can't really think exactly what of the top of my head... but maybe I felt more like it was flippant because of who apparently said it

I think I will have to speak to teacher. Maybe the class teacher as she may have overheard when it was said and know the context?