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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send 3yr old in a onesie on WBD if she'll need help going to the toilet?!

32 replies

TheBrilloPad · 27/02/2018 22:53

Fuckkkkk. DD(3.5) LOVESSSSS the gruffalo. It's her best book ever and she has a gruffalo outfit for world book day which she is insanely excited about. It's a onesie that does up at the back and can't be worn backwards/customised in any way.

But it's just occurred to me she won't be able to go to the toilet unaided. She's in a school nursery, and frequently the teachers will send kids out with their spare clothes in a bag like "oh X had a little accident today" etc, so I assume they must occasionally help kids with toilet stuff but DD has never needed any help changing/with toileting, and I'm wondering if the nursery staff will hate me hugely if I send her in a onesie, when she'll need help undoing it and doing it back up? She's only there 9am-12pm, will they accept it for three hours and get how much she loves the outfit and the book? Or am I being PFB and unreasonable and need to send her in something more toddler-friendly?!

OP posts:
PotatoesOfTheCarribean · 27/02/2018 22:56

I'd send her and just make sure she's got spare clothes. Can she get the onesie on by herself?

Enuffsenuffsenuff · 27/02/2018 22:56

For three hours it might be ok, but I would send a backup outfit just in case the staff get sick of it!

Original poster
TheBrilloPad · 27/02/2018 22:59

Took her three tries to get it right to get it on, so it should just be that she needs help undoing the Velcro at the back and sticking it back again, but equally if when she's having a wee and it's round her ankles it gets all tangled etc, she might need help getting it back on.

I don't know if I'm "that Mum" by sending her in in a costume that's hassle for staff.

OP posts:
CheerfulMuddler · 27/02/2018 23:01

There'll probably be kids there who are still in nappies, and there'll certainly be kids there who need regular help with going to the toilet. They won't hate you. Just say "Just so you know, she's going to need a bit of help getting this off when she goes to the loo," when you drop her off. They will have sold literally thousands of those onesies to literally thousands of three year olds, who'll all be wearing them on Thursday.
How brilliant that she's so excited about a book and a costume. Enjoy it, and don't worry.

frasier · 27/02/2018 23:03

Be that mum. What's more important, that your DD gets to wear her favourite outfit or the teachers/TAs have to help her with a zip?

In fact you aren't being that mum, they are being "that teacher" if they whine about it. As you say, they have obviously changed other children.

Just tell DD to ask for help if she needs a wee when she has the costume on.

newmama2018 · 27/02/2018 23:06

I wouldn't worry. By all accounts it's one morning and I'd make sure she has a wee before you leave the house she might only need to go once if at all.

My son is in school nursery and kids there are still in nappies. One lad in the reception class next door is in pull ups still because his mum was sick of him coming home in spare pants after doing a poo the second he got there! Schools are fine with it in EYFS and it's one morning.

Xmasbaby11 · 27/02/2018 23:06

At 3 they'll be used to helping her and other little ones. And it's only 3 hours - probably only 1 or 2 toilet visits. I'd send her in the costume - wouldn't worry me at all! You can always send in a spare outfit if she needs it.

frasier · 27/02/2018 23:07

Cheerful Absolutely no nappies or pull-ups or anything allowed at any of the nurseries I looked at for DC. They expect accidents to happen occasionally but are STRICT on being toilet trained before they walk in the door on the first day. Starts at age 3.

ChristmasCakes · 27/02/2018 23:08

Serves them right for foisting world book day dressing up on you Grin

Original poster
TheBrilloPad · 27/02/2018 23:22

Yayyyyy this is the answer I wanted! She did have a backup outfit just in case (Goldilocks) but she doesn't love it like she loves gruffalo and her excitement for WBD seems so lovely.

There are definitely kids in pull ups etc so I did hope the staff wouldn't mind the extra help she'll need for one day, I just didn't want to be seen as an unnecessary burden when they already have so much to do! But if general consensus is that 3yr olds are forgiven for the extra help, then I shall send her in guilt free!

OP posts:
tillytrotter1 · 27/02/2018 23:34

When there's a one-ff event like this I'm sure that all the staff expect the unexpected!

crimsonlake · 27/02/2018 23:37

Having an accident in nursery that requires a change of pants is quite different to sending a child in in an outfit for WBD that they cannot get in and out of independently when using the toilet is not the same.
Children take themselves to the toilet, a member of staff will not have the time to be going with your child to spend what may be 5 minutes in there to assist with dressing and undressing.

newmama2018 · 27/02/2018 23:39

Due to the blizzard today I sent my child in leggings under his trousers (yeah I'm that annoying mum) and whilst he managed a wee by himself he apparently got home with his pants round his thighs because he pulled up his leggings and trousers but forgot his pants. That must have been uncomfortable and my fault for not telling his teacher. Bad mummy. I'm sending him as the hungry caterpillar because he can recite that bloody book due to me reading it at every opportunity for the last three years 🤦🏼‍♀️

RainbowGlitterFairy · 27/02/2018 23:41

As long as she is able to say she needs the loo and wait for someone to undo it then its fine, takes like 3 seconds to undo a zip/do it back up.

frasier · 27/02/2018 23:41

crimsonlake I and 20 other parents pay thousands of pounds a TERM for DC's nursery. They better help him if he needed it or they wouldn't be in business!

x2boys · 27/02/2018 23:44

That's actually illegal to refuse children into nursery on the grounds of them not being toilet trained frasier it discriminates against children who are not toilet trained for whatever reason particularly those with disabillities .

BackforGood · 27/02/2018 23:45

What Crimsonlake said and more.
Why on earth would you want to set your 3 yr old up for wetting themselves - and ruining their special dressing up clothes ? Confused

Of course YABU. One thing in your house when there's only one of her, but they have a 1:13 ratio in a school Nursery. Don't do it.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 27/02/2018 23:46

@crimsonlake why would they be in there 5 minutes? you just unzip the onesie, child goes to the loo then they come back and you do it back up, its really not a big deal.

MirriVan · 28/02/2018 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frasier · 28/02/2018 01:12

What MirriVan said.^

To those who are saying she is setting her daughter up to wet herself, it's a fancy dress morning that the school is running and the child is toilet trained and just needs to ask for help getting out of the costume! I needed help getting in and out of the last fancy dress costume I wore! I have an evening dress I need zipping up by someone else. How many brides in white dresses needed help?!

Some people are just joy suckers!

tararabumdeay · 28/02/2018 01:48

A bride, hopefully, can choose the dress she/he may or not have to be zipped up in. A 3 year old can't because they don't understand couture and the relative convenience of haberdashery.

BackforGood · 28/02/2018 22:06

I suspect most brides have been toilet trained a whole lot longer than a 3 yr old in a Nursery class.... it makes a difference.

newmama2018 · 28/02/2018 22:20

Well I'm guessing this is no longer an issue hopefully as WBD has been cancelled for most schools due to the weather. Can't even see out the window so my DS won't be able to wear his costume.

frasier · 28/02/2018 22:24

x2boys, is it? It is actually in the “school rules” of the nursery DC went to.

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 28/02/2018 22:26

Well it’s just this once, it shouldn’t be a problem. If They generally know your Dd is usually independent I’m sure they will help her.

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