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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to let my toddler feed to sleep?

14 replies

TotHappy · 27/02/2018 22:42

Dd is nearly 2. She was EBF for first 6 months and always been very into bf. Seemed onto food no probs , started taking cows milk from a year no probs (that i can remember) from a bottle. She had expressed milk in a bottle occasionally from about 2 months or so.
She's always fed to sleep from a young age, this used to be always from the breast. I would lay her down and gently detach. My husband and mum can get her down for bed with a bottle, not sure if she would actually feed to sleep on the bottle then they'd detach and lay her down but i think it was more she'd finish the bottle, be sleepy, they'd hold her till asleep then lay her down. She started allowing us to lay her down awake at around 18 months i think? Hard to remember but it was a massive breakthrough for us! And eventually got to a point where you wouldn't even have to sit beside her till she fell asleep, you could give a kiss, tuck her in, and go. This would be immediately after she'd finished her milk (breast or bottle). A month or two ago, when she had a cold she seemed to regress to wanting us beside her till she fell asleep. She will now take cows milk in a bottle from me, although it depends, some evenings she'll have breast, some bottle, she decides usually. Whichever I'm giving though, she seems to have particular trouble and take ages to get to sleep with me. If my husband does it, he dress her, a short cuddle, puts her down, possibly stay beside her a few minutes and then leaves. Sometimes she still cries and he has to go back in but usually just to put a hand on her again for a few minutes and all in all it takes him much shorter than me. If i do this, she cries buckets and i have to go in and soothe her and sing and stay beside for ages. So sometimes, recently, rather than stay beside her i have given her some more milk in a bottle, as she's lying down in her cot, and she holds it and drinks and i leave. I was wary of milk 'pooling' against her teeth while she's asleep so would usually creep back in 15/20 mins later and take the bottle away. I have NEVER found the bottle in her mouth when i go back in, it's sometimes n her hand, sometimes beside her, sometimes tossed over the edge of the cot and she's rolled over. So i thought i was all good, no pooling. Now I'm reading online how you should never let babies feed to sleep with a bottle and I'm wondering... Did i get the pooling thing right? Is that the only issue? Am i buggering up her teeth?!

OP posts:
TotHappy · 27/02/2018 22:43

Blimey that was long, sorry! Was trying to give any back story that could possibly be relevant!

OP posts:
Twistinthenightaway · 27/02/2018 22:47

Teeth should be brushed after milk - it’s full of (natural) sugars

froggiemoggie · 27/02/2018 22:50

My DD is nearly two and I feed her a bottle in my arms before bed and then put her down to sleep. Actually lots of mums I know do the same.

I am hoping she grows out of it, but in my eyes at the moment she is still so little and therefore I am not rushing to take it away just get.

She also has a bottle with breakfast, but none during the day apart from maybe if she is poorly.

MyKingdomForBrie · 27/02/2018 22:54

I changed my dd routine around to brush teeth after milk specifically because it is bad for their teeth to go to sleep without brushing, she used to bf nearly to sleep and then be put down so I first moved the fed to before story and then to before teeth and eventually she just stopped wanting it, I guess as she started to eat more dinner.

cariadlet · 27/02/2018 22:56

I can see how tempting it is but good dental hygiene dictates that you should only ever have water after you've brushed your teeth. Plus your dd isn't learning to self-soothe.

I remember going on holiday with dd when she was 3 months old. We were backpacking and sometimes had rooms with twin beds (we never stayed anywhere with a cot). If there was a twin bed I had dd in the same bed as me so that she didn't fall out.

Before the holiday she was sleeping through the night. But when she was in bed with me she kept sneaking onto my boob and feeding herself to sleep. By the end of the holiday she wouldn't even have a nap without some milk first.

When we got home we went round to the neighbours (we were in a terraced house) to warn them that there might a lot of crying over the next few nights while we retaught her to settle herself at night. I never let her feed to sleep again!

Whatshallidonowpeople · 27/02/2018 23:04

No, children need to learn how to go to sleep without being fed. What are you going to do in a few years, post a burger in to get her to doze off?

ChristmasCakes · 27/02/2018 23:06

They do advise no bottles after they turn one these days. I am not sure how realistic that is

GiraffeCat · 27/02/2018 23:37

Just FYI, breastmilk is fine after brushing teeth. The nipple is drawn to the back of the mouth and so milk doesn't pool like it does with milk from a bottle.

TotHappy · 27/02/2018 23:43

Well I'm confused by the problem then - i thought the problem teeth wise was with bottle feeding TO SLEEP as the milk in the bottle pooled against the teeth when they were stopped sucking and swallowing. I'm not worried about the self-soothing - she learned to be laid down still awake, she did for a while get herself off when we were out the room, she'll get there again. But is ANY milk, from bottle or cup, bad for them without brushing? What about breastmilk? I thought that as long as teeth were brushed thoroughly so no fragments of food remained, the sugars in breastmilk didn't damage teeth? I brush her teeth morning, after breastfeed and breakfast and evening, after dinner but before milk. I cant imagine her not having milk after teeth and story. Or is it specifically bottles are bad because the teat distorts the shape of the teeth coming in?

OP posts:
TotHappy · 27/02/2018 23:47

Thanks GiraffeCat, cross post. So i can breastfeed her to sleep but bottle is trickier?

OP posts:
Kokeshi123 · 27/02/2018 23:54

The medical evidence on breastmilk and tooth decay is ambiguous. As long as it remains ambiguous, I recommend that you play it safe and get her off the last bedtime feed, honestly. If she does develop a cavity, you will have to stop anyway and you will feel really bad and will never be able to stop wondering if you caused it. And there are no downsides to stopping the feed--breastmilk is good stuff but toddlers don't need to eat it at night.

Bebepoor · 27/02/2018 23:55

Yes. Breast milk from a breast is ok. Other milk from a bottle or cup can pool on teeth.

nooka · 28/02/2018 00:18

Two just seems very old to have a bottle still. I'd expect a toddler to be drinking from a cup. I can understand why you might want to continue to breastfeed in the evening, but that's about more than just the milk isn't it? Bottles are a hassle to clean and doesn't the bottle drip on her cot and get it a bit smelly? I think I'd move the breastfeed to earlier and then have the late routine without milk involved. It might mean that she will settle as well for you as for her dad as it won't feel so different.

Faroutbrussel · 28/02/2018 00:40

I Bf ds to sleep and also at night when he woke up when he was getting his 2 year molars. He now has cavities in two of his incisor teeth. He never had a bottle or juice only water and bmilk.

I was under the impression that bmilk was ok for the reasons stated above but that's what caused his cavaties I'm 100% sure. I have spoken to BFing Associations about this and they say it couldn't possibly be bmilk.

When it happened I reasearched natural teeth healing and there are lots of BFing mums whose children also had cavaties in the same place, I felt very guilty and stopped feeding after teeth brushing but then he broke half a front tooth falling over in the shower with DH and that looks far worse.

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