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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Watching Nephews and Nieces - snow tomorrow

15 replies

Plannergirl9 · 27/02/2018 19:29

I will be working from home tomorrow. It's my regular day to do so. My DSS's school is closed so they will be home but they are old enough (and well behaved) enough to not need constant supervision.

SIL has asked if I will have her two (6 and 8) as she and DB will be at work. DNs are not very well behaved at the best of times and need constant supervision. Which as I am ment to be working I can't give.

DSS16 is responsible and mature for his age so I have asked if he will supervise (and he will earn some money). He has asked what will happen if they act up. I said come get me but if it's too much DB or SIL will need to come get them. DB and I's DPs are on holiday so can't help.

I have spoken to DB about DSS being in charge and said he should be paid something for doing so. He will be paid by me and DH for supervising dss13 (even though he is quite self-contained). I also mentioned about sending for DB or SIL if necessary. DB doesn't see the need to pay dss as he was home anyway and they were asking me to look after the kids. Also they not happy about the fact they may be called to come collect them if there's a problem. He has now decided to take tomorrow off instead.

I have received a text from SIL saying how selfish I am being as I am at home anyway. Aye workingHmm

Of course DB has texted DP interrupting their holiday to bitch about how mean I am. Surprisingly they agree with me this time

SIL has now put a 'i thought families looked out for each other.... I was wrong 😢 type of Post on Facebook. Aibu to agree to have them but only with these conditions?

OP posts:
beluga425 · 27/02/2018 19:33

She is VVU to post anything on Facebook.
You have work to do. You have done your best to accommodate them.

jay55 · 27/02/2018 19:36

Huge difference in teens being in the house while you’re working and little ones. You are not being unreasonable, you tried to help.

Dontoutmenow · 27/02/2018 19:37

Ah well, at least they won’t bother again!

Foreverandforeverandever · 27/02/2018 19:38

Well in all honesty you just made it a hell of a lot more complicated than it ever needed to be.

You should have said no you were working.

You also shouldn’t have expected payment for your son. As a one off then family should just help each other out.

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed · 27/02/2018 19:38

Madness. Such a pathetic attempt to manipulate. And are they nuts surely if they are generally badly behaved they shouldn't be leaving other people lumbered with zero expectation to sort it when if it goes tits up.

DeathStare · 27/02/2018 19:39

I would tell them that you have a deadline for something you are working on tomorrow or an urgent piece of work that you need to do (make one up if necessary) and point out that regardless of where you work you still have to meet the requirements of your job or you would be in as much trouble as they would. And that if they don't think a 6 year old and an 8 year old could disrupt that then why don't they take them into their own workplace?

Snowysky20009 · 27/02/2018 19:40

Excuse my language- but I fucking hate this! When you work from home so people think you can child mind/ take them to appointments/ go shopping, delete as appropriate.
You are WORKING, it's the same as if you asked someone to take your kids into work with them. It's not on.
I don't know about you, but I would have conference calls etc- impossible with kids around your feet.
They are well out of order OP

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/02/2018 19:41

That Facebook post would seriously piss me off

UpSideDownBrain · 27/02/2018 19:42

I work from home so I sympathise. So many people think you can just drop everything if needed - but if I don't work, I don't get paid so it is not an option for me. Took me years to train my family to understand that.
If you had already agreed to pay DSS to look after DSS13, then it's not unreasonable to ask your DB and SIL to chip something in as well for their 2.
But it sounds like they knew there would be trouble as they decided just to take the day off when they found out they would be called out, not you.
No happy ending here - you just have to hope they do not ask again.

Quartz2208 · 27/02/2018 19:42

Yes I work from home and get the rage as well by people thinking that its a skive. its not I am WORKING but just happen to be at home. Connected to my office by the power of the internet.

So yes they are very wrong

JimLahey · 27/02/2018 19:44

Pathetic Facebook post. Just delete her. You've done nothing wrong. They asked a question and should expect no to be a perfectly reasonable answer.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 27/02/2018 19:47

Another time then offer DSS services to come to their house for the day so it is clearer that you aren't taking responsibility because you are working.

Littlemissdaredevil · 27/02/2018 19:47

People always forget the WORKING bit of working from home as though you are just dossing all day. I bet your boss wouldn’t be happy if you missed deadlines or didn’t complete your work as you were not working.

WishingOnABar · 27/02/2018 19:59

Personally if I had to take a snow day to take care of DS I would be unpaid. If I had a responsible older sibling able to watch him with an adult’s supervision for the day I’d gladly offer a little money as a thanks, since they’d be saving me the loss of a day’s pay

ZenNudist · 27/02/2018 20:03

They are dicks. Will you get an apology or will it just be forgotten?

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