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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pet grave wwyd

22 replies

fetamore · 27/02/2018 19:24

Today we were looking round the (smallish) garden of the house we have just bought. There's a metal cross with an inscription to a 'faithful companion' who is 'irreplaceable'. He or she lived from 1957 to 1975. I assume it was a dog but it lived to 18 which is really old, isn't it?
Anyhow, we're planning to do lots work in the garden. I kind of feel weird about removing the cross and don't want to disturb a grave or invoke a pet cemetery scene. wwyd.

OP posts:

LadySainsburySeal · 27/02/2018 19:35

Small patio area to not disturb the grave?

fourquenelles · 27/02/2018 19:40

Do you have a shady wall away from the house (so you don't have to see it if you don't want to) that you can hang the cross on? I doubt there are any remains left after all that time and I expect it was a cat rather than a dog as cats have a longer lifespan.

GiddyGardner · 27/02/2018 19:42

I wouldn't dig up the 'grave' as such, but maybe replace the cross with a tree or a pretty flowering plant. The sentiment is nice 'faithful companion' and does give some history to the house. You could plant some trees or plants that are good companions (look up companion planting on google), they help each other with insects, light, shade etc. this would be a nice nod to the history, a good gardening plan and it would be a nice story to tell.

Ummmmgogo · 27/02/2018 19:44

I would do whatever I wanted with my house i owned and not worry about a random creature that was buried there over 40 years ago.

specialsubject · 27/02/2018 19:58

There will be nothing left. We had a similar plaque in a previous house - vendors never mentioned it so probably not theirs either.

YellowBucket · 27/02/2018 20:17

I’m quite sentimental. If I found it in my garden, I’d move it to a more convenient spot.

CatherineTheTiny · 27/02/2018 22:09

My grandparents have a proper "pet cemetery" in the back of their garden. It's for four or five lovely cats who were all part of the family (With proper little headstones, candles and flowers) and I think they would be really upset if someone who bought their house removed the stones.
However, if it really bothers you and the people who put up that grave in the first place won't find out, you can remove it. Or maybe think of that faithful companion as some sort of guardian over your house and garden if that helps

MadMags · 27/02/2018 22:11

It’s your house now and the “body” isn’t even worm food anymore!

I’d dig it up without a moment’s hesitation.

The owners will have taken anything they wanted to as a reminder of their pet, I’m sure.

Original poster

fetamore · 27/02/2018 22:29

The previous owner died with nobody to inherit anything so nobody would ever know. It's quite sad actually. I guess that makes me feel more strongly that I don't want to disturb a grave, but it's a bit in the way. I guess we'll just find a corner to move the cross to. I like the idea that it - cat? can be guardian of the garden. The previous two inhabitants are already watching over the house!!

OP posts:

MadMags · 27/02/2018 22:33

Um...but there’s nothing there!

stayathomegardener · 27/02/2018 22:43

Just as we were signing the purchase agreement for our house at auction, a lady came over and said you do know about the pet grave yard don't you, you mustn't disturb it.
We are talking various Alsatians the size of small ponies plus assorted cats.
It just happened that 10 years later we had to lower the ground level in that area using a digger...Top tip never wrap your pets in black bin bags before you bury them.
We reburied MUCH deeper. To salve my guilt I had all the concrete paving stone headstones with the details painted on them remade and hand cut in sandstone.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/02/2018 22:44

I'd suggest moving the cross but not digging for what remains might be buried (probably nothing after this much time but it depends what the family actually used as a 'coffin'.)

If you have a religious/spiritual belief system, you could say a few words and make a little ceremony of doing this, of course.

MidniteScribbler · 28/02/2018 02:32

There will be nothing left under the ground, but you could move the cross into a more convenient corner and perhaps put a little cat statue under it to be your garden guardian. Maybe the Egyptian cat goddess?

frasier · 28/02/2018 02:39

1975... you may be able to find someone who knew what the animal was, neighbour , local shop keeper, pub owner. Would be nice to know the guardian of your garden's name!

HirplesWithHaggis · 28/02/2018 02:41

To me, "faithful companion" is much more dog than cat. And my three dogs all lived to 16-18.

But there won't be much left either way, so yes, move the cross (who knew animals had religion?) to wherever suits you. It's kind of you to leave a memorial to someone else's pet. :)

Charolais · 28/02/2018 03:03

Without question I would not only leave this grave alone but I would maintain it as well.

breakfastBus · 28/02/2018 03:12

Without question I'd bin the cross and not think about a dog's bones from the 70s.

Beansonapost · 28/02/2018 03:21

It's a dead dog... a dead dog from the 70s 😐...

It's your house.

I'd bin it all and start a fresh.

It's a dead dog... a dead dog. It's not worth agonising over.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/02/2018 03:34

My sister cant have children and has put her love into her animals instead. They recently moved and their first dearly loved pet was buried in the garden. When we talked about it she said that although she hoped they wouldnt dig him up, she knew that it would be the new peoples house to do with as they wished and his grave doesnt hold her memories.

I would move the cross to somewhere out of the way (or bury it in the same spot as the grave) and do what you want to the garden.

DalekDalekDalek · 28/02/2018 03:51

Without question I would not only leave this grave alone but I would maintain it as well.

Half the gardens in the UK would be pet graveyards if we all took that attitude!

I don't think I would stick the cross in the bin. Maybe bury it somewhere near the "grave" or stick it in amongst a bush?

SweetLike · 28/02/2018 06:06

I'd plant a shrub or tree and move the cross if need be. I couldn't rip a garden apart knowing there were pets there, I would try to avoid it. This is partly why I plan to cremate mine so I don't have to leave them if and when we move.

Jenijena · 28/02/2018 06:15

When my friend first moved into her house, her kids ran into the back garden. It’s quite big and they hadn’t fully explored it, although they were aware that there were some pet graves in it as the owners were quite upset at leaving them.

“Mummy mummy! There’s a stone with my name on it in the garden” said Bill*
“Mummy mummy! There’s a stone with my name on it in the garden” said Ben*

The previous owner’s dogs had the same names as my friend’s kids...

*not their real names

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