To be totally at the end of my tether with DS losing stuff

[Timeforachange2018]

DS is 10 and loses everything. And I have just lost it with him big style and told him I’m not going to replace anything anymore. I reall shouted at him and feel terrible but I actually am at the end of my tether.
He’s lost 3 hoody’s this year in school along with hats, gloves, scarves, coats, PE kits, trousers and now today his second homework book in a month. I literally screamed at him which I know is horrendous parenting but I genuinely don’t know what to do.
We have tried everything to help him remember stuff but he doesn’t seem to have any regard for stuff. I’ve said this time that he can go & explain to his teacher why, yet again, he’s lost another homework book and has no idea where it is.
Aaaaarrrgggghhhh. Aibu to ask for your help as I literally can’t take anymore!

Add £400 musical instrument to the list which did eventually turn up but he had no idea where it was.

Are his clothes labelled so they can be identified as his when handed in? I had name tapes sewn in to all things worn at school. That might help a little.

I’ve given up replacing things - or he has to pay for a new one (he’s a bit older though).

There is a specific shelf for school work so that has helped with disappearing homeworm (plus the school has a zero tolerance on handwork bit being handed in). We have checklists and a wipe board to note everything down.

He will always find something to lose - if you ask him about 99 things. Number 100 will be missing!

My son was like this, he had to pay half of everything replaced or he did without

Does he get pocket money? If he loses things he loses some pocket money to help pay for it

Have you helped him put in place ways to organise himself? My daughter is the same. She has attention and working memory issues. There are wipe boards, tick boxes, prompts, talking tiles and reminders. OT and salt helped me put some of the things in place specifically for her needs.

Does he have any other issues? Eg ADHD or dyslexia?

No, YANBU to be at the end of your tether. Mine are all absolutely atrocious about losing stuff. One of the lastborn's first full sentences was "have to buy another one" because someone had yet again lost something.

When they were 10-ish, I just refused to replace anything lost. I also refused to buy new uniform (always bought second-hand, and still do), on the grounds that I wasn't forking out oodles of cash for them to lose stuff. Everything was name-taped, to no avail. No matter how many times they were/are reminded, it makes no difference at all. I am, of course, SO MEAN for not replacing things, when EVERYONE ELSE'S MUM replaces them.

DS1 is 12 and in Y7. He was awful, just awful all through infants and juniors then suddenly once he went to high school it's like a lightbulb went on and he learned how to take care of his stuff. Not a single clue how it happened; I lost my shit most weeks at him in Y6, he'd come out of sports clubs with just one shoe and shrug and go "ah I dunno" when I asked where the other might have been. He'd lose coats, guitars, bags, socks, anything he could remove from his body for more than a minute. I made him a laminated list of stuff to remember (and tailored it so that there was a different one for every day containing specific items for set days) and he lost the lists and laughed. I almost kicked him in the teeth Cato-style that day.

It can get better. It really can.