For eating as a family

[Joskar]

I was listening to The Food Programme and it was an episode from October about eating as a family. Apparently this is very unusual these days. They reckoned that it was leading to poor mental health in young people (particularly girls) and that most families don't eat together anymore but when they do they have the TV on. Is that true do you think? I thought eating together was the norm.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b099w3v4

I don't believe it leads to mental health issues (WTF?) but 4-5 out of 7 days we eat as a family, even if we're all eating different things. I found it is the best way to monitor mindful eating, correct use of cutlery, table manners etc. My boys are 6 and coming up 4, so we can't push it much later as bedtime starts at 6.30ish.

I've also started making life easier and doing Friday night pizza nights and Saturday night burger nights (assuming we don't already have plans) - Sundays we may eat out and when eating as a family, screens aren't allowed. If we're in a rush or one of us is out, then they can eat their dinner and watch a show on the ipad (but at the dinner table) but nobody has screens when we're all sitting down together.

You just have to do what you have to do. Some people may not having family meal times together but spend evenings playing board games together, or going on walks together which are just as enjoyable.
Family meal times don't always = quality time (especially not with small fussy kids).

We eat together at the weekend; otherwise DH is home too late (8.30 is usual dinner time for us). I'll sit with the kids at the table while they have theirs about 6.30.

As a kid I always ate by myself infront of the tv, same with my own kids as we eat at different times. Sometimes we do eat together but usually with the tv on. We spend loads of quality time together outside of this and don't really want to chat while we're eating!
In my experience and people I know, they don't eat together at a table with no TV on.. I only see that in films

We don't eat breakfast together, because I don't eat breakfast. They eat while I have a shower. Lunch at the weekend and every dinner is always together. They'd eat like bloody wolves if I wasn't eating with them.

Steve Biddulph does make stuff up so I wouldn't necessarily listen to what he says.
We have one DC with behavioural problems/awaiting assessment and one who's just, well, 3, but we eat together at the table, no toys, no screens, as often as we can.
If it's just the DCs eating because we'll eat later, especially where they've had a hot meal at school/nursery, then one of us will try and sit with them or chat to them from the kitchen.
Usually at least one adult and both DCs will eat breakfast together though DS who is 6 is allowed to start breakfast if we aren't ready.

If it's all of us eating together then it's a lot of crowd control but it would be even worse if we were sitting in front of the TV (think of the poor sofa) so I think it's worth it.

DCs are in their 20s we eat together. Don't seem to recall doing so as much when they were teens but now, definitely. It's a nice catch up time as we're like ships passing at times due to work etc. They cook more than I do, which helps. Eating together is a nice family feeling, that's important for me and for them I guess. I don't think we're unusual. I also don't think not eating together can be linked to mental health issues. But I do think not even having the time or inclination to sit down for a meal and chat, means you can miss stuff that may be worrying youngers, and would come out in conversation even if not in a big way..do you have a chance to chill.and chat about it. A family living fairly separately within a household is a sad thought.

We don't do it. Dc like to eat at 5 and dh and I like to eat after 7. We eat together at weekends at least once. I haven't noticed their mental health or table manners being affected. I still sit with them while they rat and chat and when they were younger taught them how to eat with a knife and fork etc. No big deal.

I do think it's quite rare to be honest; when the kids have brought friends home they have sometimes been quite shocked to eat at the table with us. We are very relaxed though; they usually go away saying "Aw it's so cute that you all eat at the table"

I can't see it stopping in the early teens - eldest is nearly 13 and cooks the family meal every Monday. I'm hoping to have each child cooking once a week as they get older. Obviously once they are older teens with completely independent evening social lives (as in not just clubs, sports, youth club, playing with neighbor kids) / working it might change though.

Always eat together unless one of us is elsewhere for the evening. Usually in the dining room with no tv so we can chat, but sometimes in the lounge with the tv on when we’re all a bit exhausted.

We eat dinner together pretty much every evening. But we eat very late - often 7 or 8 pm. My kids are fine with this and it means we all eat together no matter how late a class or rehearsal has gone. Their friends are often horrified by how late we eat. Mostly we eat around the table but sometimes - last night for example - one teen had her books spread over the dining room table so we ate in the living room around the fire - no tv. At the weekend or on a friday night we will eat together watching tv.

I'm not sure there is any better mental health in our house as a result - we've had our share of crap like everyone else. But we do have some nice chats, some very funny moments, some huge arguments about politics, and some laughs (teen girls got fit of the giddies last night because of the expression on the dog's face while we were eating and they were hysterical laughing)

My 3 and a half year old is rating to eat at 4-4:30 after pre school. My DH doesn’t come home until 7pm or later most evenings. So we don’t tend to eat as a family much in the week. I don’t really want to eat a meal at 4 with DS and leave my DH to fend for himself at the moment. If he works from home we will eat with DS (although we often need supper later!)

We try and do a family Sunday lunch. We eat out a lot at the weekend though so most of our dining together is in restaurants and DS behaves very well there and orders his own food so he’s learning manners and social skills!

Everyone I know always ate/eats at a table with all the family eating together. In our house a television supper was a huge treat and only for non messy food such as pizza. We don’t usually worry about laying up the dining table but usually just a kitchen supper eaten at the table.

We as a family are not all home together until 9pm.

DS does not get back from college until 6pm, DD needs to be home from school and out again for dance at 5.30 pm, not back until 9pm so needs to eat before she leaves. OH back at 7.30pm, DS works three evening a week, back at 9.30 pm

Logistically almost impossible to eat together.

We eat together once a fortnight.

Should everyone drop work/hobbies/activities just so we can pretend to be the Waltons?

Utter chaos in our house but we always eat a la table.

we have childrens dinner at about 5pm, then bed for them between 6-6.30pm.

We have our dinner after 7pm when DH comes home.

We eat breakfast together every morning.

We eat dinner together at the weekends. This is what works for us at the moment but im guessing it will change over time.

Most people i know eat at the table. Not always together depending on working hours. We always did as kids.

We always eat together but sometimes in front of the TV. We spend an inordinate amount of time together (home educated kids and DH works very close by so very short commute) so aren't missing quality time by watching a program.

Yes, we've had our fair share of teens with fragile mental health despite our cosy table based dinners. But I do think the good communication we have developed has helped to sort these issues out.

Most evenings we all eat around the table together. Many Saturdays is are pizza in front of a film on the sofa but still all together.

It works for us because DH gets home in time. I rarely ate at the same time as my parents as a child because of dads shifts.

I dont have children yet but this is something i am thinking (worrying) about already!

We do have a dining table (lounge/diner) but very limited storage space...when the time comes I expect we will need the space for storage and will have to get rid of the table!