Biggest Cockhead Fathers Crow the Loudest?

[GrannyGrissle]

In my experience it is always the (male every single time) non resident parents who talk the most/Facebook their dirty y -fronts most regularly/shout the loudest about what fantastic parents they are and how adored their offspring are, who lie in order to pay minimum/zero child maintenance or don't bother seeing their children even when the resident parent goes out of their way (repeatedly) to facilitate contact/relationships.
Much of this opinion has been formed by years of tattooing kids' names and dates of birth on various body parts of Cockhead fathers. Once you get chatting it becomes clear that Cockhead does not pay maintenance (usually by going self employed) or only pays the minimum (with plenty of book cooking and cash in hand work), does not provide in any way for said children and doesn't see them because of his work/new family or commitments (occasionally as they aren't allowed by the ('psycho') ex. I have regularly asked whether the money spent of their great proclamation of love in ink would be better spent on their children/deposited in an ISA for them which is laughed off, as their tribute is deemed far more important as their children are 'always with them' that way -helps them remember the poor children's names-.
And then my own experience of the twat of an ex bullshitting HMRC year after year that he earns and lives on £40 a week (and they believe him-I've reported him including the details of his employer and the fact he earns £80 a day plus plenty of extra cash in hand work to no avail) and consequently I get the princely sum of £37 a month for poor old DD. I have repeatedly tried to facilitate contact between him and his various family members, some of who keep in touch, most of whom haven't bothered so I have given up. Ex Male (can't bring myself to write DP) will do anything to get out of seeing DD and I am at the end of my patience with the whole thing, DD isn't bothered with him as he spends the whole (3 hours a week) time he is visiting her (at my house) on his phone. I don't think she will feel any sort of loss if I give up trying to force a relationship he isn't interested in, however, my biggest gripe it that as far as Facebook (I blocked him ages ago and rarely use it) is concerned and his friends and family he is the most doting Father on this universe (though he doesn't have DDs name tattooed on him so can't be ). I'm just getting more and more furious about this hypocritical shite, I mean if you aren't arsed about contact, lie to HMRC in order not to have to pay anything resembling a remotely decent amount of maintenance and well, have zero interest in DC then why act otherwise publicly?
My AIBU is therefore in thinking it is the biggest crappest cockheads of DF who crow the loudest and most publically about what great Fathers they are?

You're not wrong. See also - Fathers4Justice.

Then there's the narcissist mothers who tell anyone and everyone (the children included) what a shit Father their ex is, and that he doesn't care about his kids, and doesn't give her a penny (apparently the £500 a month she gets from him isn't enough) whilst she's does everything possible to stop contact between him and his children, even though there are court orders in place. We have one of these women in our family unfortunately. So it's not just men that are cockheads.

Yep. I have 2 exes who crow very loudly about how adored their kids are, how they pay me millions in maintenance and I'm a big bad crazy bitch who refuses contact even though they are begging me constantly.

I haven't heard anything off one for about 6 months and the other messaged a month ago asking for contact at a weirdly specific time, I said I couldn't accommodate as I was working but offered several alternatives and heard nothing back.

I have also seen no money at all for years.

Still it makes them sound good I guess so they can go ahead. We all know the truth.

Do you think the same about cuntface mothers (I assume the female equivalent of cockhead fathers) who post most on FB about their children?

How many tattoo'd fathers who have left the mothers have you spoken to to come to all of these conclusions? They're very open about explaining their income and financial support for their children with a complete stranger.

As Jeremy Kyle would say (I get the feeling you know his programme well; perhaps some of the guests too?), stay off facebook!

I’m surprised people are prepared to discuss their family’s financial arrangements in such detail with a tattooist.

My experience is the same as yours OP.

My friend’s ex is currently living it up in Mexico while the mother of his child struggles to afford shoes for their son. Apparently insisting on regular, reliable contact rather than dropping in a couple of times a year when he’s between girlfriends is ‘psycho’.

He’s got his name tattooed on his neck as well! And he and his mother love the F4J memes too. Loads of comments about how he’s a great dad, ‘loves his little man’ and it’s so unfair. I had to block on FB, I couldn’t bear it.

I truly don’t know how any man sleeps at night knowing there’s a child out there he doesn’t pay a penny for. And how on earth they manage to attract other women, I’ll never understand.

Not saying all fathers are like this, but yes, there's a demographic in which the more they display their devotion for public admiration, the less they actually do.

ExH recently went to another city to give a speech about fathers being unfairly denied access to their children. Presumably he didn't mention that he had cancelled access in order to go and that he had steadfastly refused offers to reschedule access. He'd actually prefer to be the victim of my refusing access than to have the access itself.

I think there's those type of parents - both male and female who use fb to shout how marvellous they are when in actual fact they are amongst the worst.

The F4J guy said himself that he was a nightmare - drunk and violent - and that he didn't blame his ex for not wanting him to have access, but he still started F4J anyway

Yanbu you must be so tempted (especially if in a difficult for them to view place) to tattoo "deadbeat dad" on them.

However while I accept your experience has been men only I know of 3 women personally who abandoned their kids, paid no maintenance, thought it acceptable to tip up in their kids lives several years later expecting to just pick up where they left off AND try to slate the fathers who DID the hard graft of raising their children with no support from them. 2 of them got tattoos of their beloved children's names too (and in one case dob which I would not be surprised if she had to ask/look them up first!)

Got one of my own too - never paid maintenance fully or consistently, farted around over contact from the very beginning when we were only 10 min walk from him, has forgotten birthdays and christmases (but huge piles of gifts for the DC from the 2nd marriage all over fb) and hasn't seen dd in years - his choice - but tells everyone it's me.

I think it’s just those types of people to be honest.

When dd was involved in s nationally reported incident you would be amazed st the people who spoke of their loss and shock to the press and they had minimal contact with those involved. Same as FB posts like ‘I could have been there’ but you weren’t though were you.

Agree op it’s distastful show boating and at worse down right lying

Oh they don't tell they brag and it's amazing what people tell you when you are tattooing them- far too much information and over the years it is fair to say i have tattooed thousands of such men particularly when working in city centre studion. Why on earth would i watch Jeremy Kyle?
Of course there are horrendous DM but that is not what i am talking about .

I completely see your points op and agree with you. The biggest shouters are usually the biggest wankers.

IPreferFrieda It's bloody hard not to just go ape shit on Facebook and set the record straight but that would be embarassing, plus as i said in my OP I rarely use FB and certainly don't have any of ex's people on it. Why do some MNers deliberately misread the OP, jump straight in on the defensive then judge the poster by their own Jeremy Kyle standards? I am fed up of a situation and have posted to vent my spleen/seek out people with similar stresses in their lives. If anyone wants to discuss vile exDW do feel feel free to start your own thread

Don't forget the maintenance paid is not for the kids but for you according to these men

When you get yourself a new coat, or you've had your hair done, their money paid for that

If only they stuck to wanking rather than attempting to procreate

Soubriquet - spot on

And when they do pay maintenance it's "loads" erm no £100 a month barely touched the sides with a then 10 year old!

Yes, they do. My ex was the best father in the world. That's according to his gushing, twee FB memes sbout what it means to be a father - which had women in a swoon you are SUCH a good daddy! If only all men were like you!

In reality he had 3 grown up children who were almost estranged from him as he's so self-absorbed and had never really made time to see them in years. & 1 school-aged DD 'shes my world' yet he upped and moved from up North to London 5 hours away from her, as on splitting with mum he wanted a bit more of a social life. So he barely saw his DD. Yet from his talk you'd think he was present, and hands-on in raising her. Very bitter against his now adult children who he seems to think should be running after him when he's made no effort for years.

Looks very good on paper though. Handsome well dressed says all the right things. I soon realised that's mostly all it takes to be deemed "a good man".

Ugh yes you see it on here too. OP'S with a new man "his ex is a bitch who won't let him see his kids" when they've never met the ex or the kids, known the guy maybe 6 months, all they have to go on is what he's said, usually less than half a dozen posts in you find out he's paid no maintenance ("but why should he if he doesn't get to see them" 🙄) sonetimes it later emerges they moved far away from where the DC live, of course there's a ton of excuses why he couldn't make the time before "he was working so hard to build his career" "it was too expensive/time consuming to do the travel for contact" "it was too heartbreaking saying goodbye after contact" etc ad nauseum.

And in around half of these it also emerges he was abusive!

I do not understand women who cannot see these men clearly.