Is this normal from a children's centre?

[KimchiLaLa]

I hurt my hand quite badly at the weekend so need to cover it with gloves when showering etc as advised by the nurse who fixed me up. I didnt have stitches.

I couldn't make our baby massage class as obviously that would mean getting oil on the injury which I've been told not to do, and in the end my baby was deeply asleep at the time anyway so I called the centre and told them we wouldn't make it, explaining the hand injury.

It was our second class.

When I called the lady said "you could come in anyway and just watch" and I said well I'll think about it if my baby seems like she may sit through it (sometimes she would).

Anyway, they've just called me to ask if "everything is ok" as i didn't go in. This made me annoyed. Yes everything is ok, we just didn't make it in yday! In the end I decided my hand getting better faster and her having a decent nap was better than a grumpy baby. Was I wrong not to take her? I didn't realise it would be that big a deal. I have paid for the whole lot of classes so it's not like they're losing money.

Oh FGS! They were taking an interest in one of their service users. New mothers are prone to PND and become isolated. A children’s centre will be aware of this and checking that someone is ok is something more communities should be doing. You should be gratetful you have a centre that has time and inclination to be concerned about you!

You didn't say you wouldn't go in, just that you would think about it. You were not wrong in not going, you did what you felt was best for you and your baby and that's fine. Because you didn't outright say you wouldn't be going it seems to me that they are being kind, concerned and want to make sure you're ok. They're not making a big deal about it.

It seems strange it would annoy you that they wanted to know if you're ok.

I think it's really good that they've checked up on you. There are some ladies who might not have gone for reasons they couldn't disclose at the time (thinking PND or domestic violence) and they probably just follow up to check all is well.

Don't be annoyed - it's little things like that call that could help someone. I know when I was feeling very depressed it would have helped me to know that I had been missed and someone cared enough to check on me.

Taking an interest in a new mum's welfare and making sure she is ok when she has said she has a hand injury?

Yes. Normal. Because they get blamed if something happens to a mum or baby that they havent checked in on, and because, you know, they care about mums and babies

In the interest of balance they care about dads too

Was it a health visitor that called you back or a receptionist?

Thanks all
Hmm I'm not sure. I know she helps run the classes but she's not an HV.

She's actually following the best practice guidelines.

How on earth would they be blamed if something happened?
I daresay they meant well be ringing but it could seem a bit intrusive.

They are just looking out for your wellbeing.

It's very normal. I did a health visiting placement as part of my training as a paediatric nurse and a lot of the mother's suffering from PND or struggling in some way were referred to the baby massage classes at the children's centre through the HV service. Often the instructors who do the baby massage are HVs/community nursery nurses. So it's often standard practice for the children's centre to check up on mums who haven't made it to classes etc.

Don't take it personally, it's very good practice - and if you've read any Serious Case Reviews you'll see why.

My health visitors are very pushy like this in my opinion but some mums need that.

I've actually stepped back from them and their classes as they just seemed to be constantly calling me and if I dare suggested that I had an issue they would be on my case for weeks.

But I'm not a sociable person and like my space. I see why others may like or need this but the whole service really wasn't for me

Well I think it’s a bit OTT to be honest. You only missed one class

I wouldn’t have even phoned them or told them about an injured hand, what business is it of theirs?

The thing is, if you usually come along - and have paid - they don’t know that you are not at home with PND. They may have annoyed you, but equally they could have saved someone else with this call.

When DS was 10 weeks old I accidentally drank a glass of Milton fluid. Good grief, it took hours to convince the A&E doctors that I was just a muppet who’d made sterilising fluid up in a pint glass avd that there was really nothing wrong.

I wouldn’t have even phoned them or told them about an injured hand, what business is it of theirs?

Dunno, I just thought ok let me do this to be polite and let them know!

It's very normal. I did a health visiting placement as part of my training as a paediatric nurse and a lot of the mother's suffering from PND or struggling in some way were referred to the baby massage classes at the children's centre through the HV service. Often the instructors who do the baby massage are HVs/community nursery nurses. So it's often standard practice for the children's centre to check up on mums who haven't made it to classes etc.

I literally begged to be on this course! Basically as DD loves massage and there didn't seem to be any other classes in my area. There was a waitlist to get on it.

I forgot to say, she ended the convo by saying "well just to let you know, if you don't attend at least three classes you fail the course". I was like erm ok. I wasn't planning on sticking this on my CV? I guess her manner just put me off too.

I've actually stepped back from them and their classes as they just seemed to be constantly calling me and if I dare suggested that I had an issue they would be on my case for weeks.

My HV hasn't bothered with me since I couldn't make the two month check (I think it was that?). I have thought about calling her but I don't have a reason to as yet

I think it's nice if she phoned to genuinely check on your well being. I can see how so many new mothers can easily slip off the radar.

Dont know if thats normal, our area doesn't have children's centres anymore and hasn't done for several years now. Anything like that has to be paid for privately. HV don't come here any more either. Basically no one gives a shit about young children or new parents. Budget cuts. Amusingly the council have just decided that actually, early intervention may be a good idea to save them money. A bit late for that.