Am I being a mean mum

[nixnjj]

My lad is normally a kind caring kid but since he's hit 13 his attitude is pressing all my buttons. He's beginning to treat me like a slave. I.e. Mum can you get me a drink and whe I tell him to,get it himself, it's a big huff and well I just dehydrated. He seems to have lost the ability to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Shoes blazer and school bag just gets chucked where it lands.

My plan as I cant live like this is anymore and don't want the situation to get worse.
Money is tight and trying to find a couple of quid for him is pushing my anxiety sky high

Is it wrong to allow him to,earn a small amount of cash for being helpful round the house, but to deduct cash for when he treats me like a slave and backchats

Sounds good to me! Little monkey has got to learn!

I would, i think money is a good incentive for teens as they want to go out with their friends etc. I'm dreading it, my 2yr old is already full of attitude and laughs at me when i tell him off!

Mine turned into a monster at 13. He got better when he was 18. Good luck.

Totally, that's how pocket money should work!

The attitude gets better after a few years

I do something similar - my daughter earns money for doing jobs round the house, but she only gets paid for jobs if she’s done her homework and her bedroom is tidy. If her basic things aren’t done, she can’t earn anything. Seems to work okay most of the time!

My sons just turning thirteen and oh lord he's so mean an moody messy and he smells

Chores is good idea I may join you

Oh good god yes. Mine is fifteen and on the whole he really is a good kid but the attitude can be wearing at times. On top of that I have a life limiting illness and sometimes things can be difficult for me. I have been known to pay him to do things around the house because it A, makes my life easier and B, he earns pocket money into the bargain. Win win.

No you are not.

Mess in his own room. Ignore. Teach him how to use the washing machine.dont get drinks for him unless he's ill. Just stop acting like his slave.

Welcome to the world of teenagers. Try asking him to make you a coffee and see what he makes of that. [Light-hearted BTW!] Honestly?
I would probably sit him down and give him the "now you're growing up" chat. Lay down your ground rules and roll out the pocket money in return for helpful/considerate behaviour. His room is his private space and will likely be a tip permanently for the next few years but just shut the door and ignore. However you are entitled to lay down the rules for the rest of the house even if it means a financial incentive to train him! Good luck OP all sounds normal to me.

I'll go against the grain. I'm not a fan of paying children to do chores. I think they should understand that everyone has to do their bit. You don't get paid for cleaning / tidying up, so why should your DS?

In your shoes, I'd try to agree certain chores that he takes on and then leave him to get on with it

If he doesn't tidy up after himself, take his clothes to his room if they're in your way, but leave them on the floor, don't tidy them away

Don't pick up laundry from the floor, you're not a skivvy. If they're not in the laundry bin, they don't get washed

Can't remember the last time I made my 13 year old a drink

Dinner yes of course everyday but drink no he is old enough to get that himself

Haha! Welcome to the next 5 years of your life. I swear my son went upstairs to bed on the eve of his 13th birthday a lovely charming polite boy and came down in the morning this suroy rude obnoxious lump. He only ever grunted at me, and was generally totally disruptive and unhelpful. He.

The lovely boy came back 5 years later!