My attempts to help dd settle into reception have made things ten times worse time to give up now?!

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Dd not settling in reception despite going to the two feeder preschools so she’d make friends, and joining in the after school dance group and me organising various Numerous play dates. Latest brainwave was to get her to join rainbows excellent idea I thought and I’d help out to except this has led to an older girl in her school a rainbow now targeting her which I witnessed first hand today dealt with by the lovely volunteers but still my meddling has opened her up to more upset.
I just want her to be happy and make friends so I obviously need to stay well away from future great ideas right?!

Op at her age the teachers are responsible for her welfare and its not ok for her to be lonely at lunchtime. 4 and 5 yr olds are so young still.

You need to speak to the teacher. She/he will be well used to this situation.

OP my dd's school does a buddy system for reception kids who are lonely. Could you speak to her teacher and see if there' a y4 + prefect who can watch out for her on break times?

Talk to the teacher and ask her about a buddy system or similar for lunchtime.

However, you also need to prepare for her to be a slow burner and that it may take a long time for her to enjoy playtime and indeed she might never and might always prefer structured activities.

She is really young. Stop the playdate and the after school activities and let her just hang out with you and her baby brother. She is at school all day and needs you out of school.