Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me stop swearing

30 replies

starlightafar · 26/02/2018 17:43

Yes yes I know. Everyone on here says fuck sometimes.
But I do it in real life. And I have kids. And I don't want them to swear.
Honestly, it's my only vent. Don't drink, can't go for a fag, etc.
It just comes out and I hate it. But I get so stressed. But other people manage not to swear.
My parents, as much as they had faults, never swore, not even my dad. Sod was the worst I heard as a kid.
I don't know. I started as a teenager and struggle not to do it. I have a professional job, we all swear.
I hate it. Please help me to stop.

OP posts:
HappenedForAReisling · 26/02/2018 17:46

If you find a way, let me know. I try to think of words to replace the swear words but "fuck" still slips out as a default sometimes.

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 17:55

Will do Happened. Nothing brings the same relief it's weird isn't it. I feel so stressed sometimes. There is nowhere quiet to go to count to 10. Then I swear and hate it.

OP posts:
cardibach · 26/02/2018 17:56

I’m sweaty. DD didn’t swear until it was age appropriate and still wouldn’t do it if the place/time we’re inappropriate. It’s like everything else - kids get that adults can do things they can’t. Don’t worry about it.

cardibach · 26/02/2018 17:57

Sweary. I’m sweary, not sweaty! Blush

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 18:12

I'd rather be sweaty card! I hate hearing myself.

OP posts:
RollTopBath · 26/02/2018 18:18

I recall some evidence that swearers were happier and better at relationships.
I’d rather a ‘fuck’ ‘bugger’ or ‘shit’ than a “toilet, serviette or lounge”.
It’s less the swearing (my experience is that children hear swearing from a much earlier age than parents think) and more about understanding when it is not an appropriate setting to swear.

bimbobaggins · 26/02/2018 18:22

I realised recently that out of most of my friends I definitely swear the most. I have been making a big effort to stop and have introduced a swear jar and that really is helping.

After the first few days I had reduced it quite a bit

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 19:52

I really dislike bugger and cunt. Have joked about the greatness of cunt on here but actually it's the most vile of all swear words.
I'm crap at relationships btw.
The context is right. But I am more and more aware of it. I suppose it's a first step as it never bothered me before.

OP posts:
Mumbun · 26/02/2018 21:06

I’d rather a ‘fuck’ ‘bugger’ or ‘shit’ than a “toilet, serviette or lounge”.

Grin perfect. Me too!

Gatehouse77 · 26/02/2018 21:26

When mine were little I used to go to the fridge and quietly swear into it!
Or I'd turn away, pull faces and mutter swear words.

My parents didn't swear when we were little and having worked as a nanny I think that helped me learn to curb it. Also, we wouldn't have dared swear in front of our father and, out of respect, wouldn't in front of our mother.

Outside of that I swear a lot! When my kids were at the upper end of primary and I knew they'd be using swear words I gave them a list of people not to swear in front of

  1. Parents
  2. Older relatives
  3. Young children
  4. Older people
  5. Teachers

which basically whittled it down to the playground amongst their peers.

Jassmells · 26/02/2018 21:29

I know, I can't stop either. They are such good adjectives though I sometimes feel I've forgotten non swearing ones. FFS. Oops.

TovaGoldCoin · 26/02/2018 21:33

I swear. I'm a teacher and fill my day with golly gosh and dearie me. At home it's mother fucks and bag of wank all the way.

Eolian · 26/02/2018 21:38

Hmm. It's habit. I have an iron-hard swear filter because I am a teacher. Maybe you should fine yourself every time you swear. A swear jar - and give it all to charity.

theWarOnPeace · 26/02/2018 21:46

I swear a lot, but I know when to reign it in. When I’m swearing mid conversation, it means that we’re friends and I’m being my total normal self. I just read a PP saying that people who swear have better relationships. I have lots of close friends and good relationships, so maybe there’s something in that? My kids never swear and wouldn’t be allowed at this age, but when they become adults and if they choose to, then I would just see it as their own form of expression.

frasier · 26/02/2018 21:59

"I’d rather a ‘fuck’ ‘bugger’ or ‘shit’ than a “toilet, serviette or lounge”."

Grin

DC picked up "Oh me, oh my" from nursery and I say it now.

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 22:08

My eldest told his brother to fuck off last week but he did barge in the bathroom while he was in the shower (he's 13)-I kind of get why. I just hate hearing it from kids, sounds so uneducated and horrible.

OP posts:
HazelBite · 26/02/2018 22:30

I think its a bit different when its used as an expletive in the heat of the moment than when its used as a normal part of your coversational vocabulary.

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 22:34

That's the thing Hazel. I use it for both.
My sense of humour is Jo Brand like and dark, sweary humour.
I need to change my personality!

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 26/02/2018 22:36

Since I had kids, ‘fudging Nora’ or ‘ducks on toast’ are my favourites

topcat2014 · 26/02/2018 22:36

we had an a level student on work experience in our office last week.

All of us had to make a real effort to stop swearing.

Youngest person in the office - aged 44 - :)

Readers - we are back to full swearage today.

Lostin3dspace · 26/02/2018 22:39

But why the fuck would you want to stop swearing, it is one of the great joys in life!

Original poster
starlightafar · 26/02/2018 22:41

Lost
Because it sounds disgusting.
I've heard sex is another great joy but that's a different thread (but also sounds disgusting, if we are looking at parallels.)

OP posts:
SistersOfPercy · 26/02/2018 23:11

My kids are now adults therefore I no longer need to curtail my language. Dh doesn't really swear and gives me the look when I'm fucking wank badgering at something or other.

Sentence enhancing I call it 😂

DramaAlpaca · 26/02/2018 23:27

I blame MN for teaching me some wonderfully creative swearwords. Funnily enough despite that I don't think I ever swear on here, but I swear like a trooper in real life especially when driving, apparently and my workplace is stressful & can be very sweary. I've no impressionable small children around these days so I don't need to mind what I say. I'm probably still rebelling against my parents, I've never in my life heard either of them swear and I wouldn't date swear in front of them - I'd never hear the end of it.

Bluelady · 26/02/2018 23:31

I've got a mouth like a sailor. My adult son laughed at me the other day and said "When you mouth off I realise why I love it when posh women swear". I had no fucking idea I was posh.