DH embarrassed by my sensitivity

[MarysLittleLamb]

I get very moved by certain types of art and music, so much so that I occasionally cry. Last year we went to the Louvre and I ended up silently weeping at a number of art works. When we got out of the gallery DH admitted that he finds it all a bit over the top and unnecessary - as if I do it on purpose!

Anyway we've just got back from Rome. I became a little overwhelmed in the coliseum when I thought about the violence and death that had taken place there. DH said I was the only one in the entire place crying and he was fed up with it. I explained that I don't do it on purpose, it just gets to me.

We went to the Sistine Chappell the day after and I ended up screaming at the MichaelAngelo. A number of tourists tried to console me but DH just walked off muttering "for fucks sake". I felt so stupid. When we got out DH had a massive rant at me about how I spoil everything for him and he often wishes he was with someone normal who could visit places without making a scene. He also declared that he no longer enjoys travelling with me. I'm gutted because travel is the main thing we do together. AIBU to think I can't change who I am or should I??

I went to a concert at the Sistine chapel. In a group of 20, half of whom were priests. We were then swiftly escorted through the back way, via multiple chapels. As we passed the blessed sacrament in each chapel the priests genuflected, to various degrees and by the end everyone was doing so extravagantly with much crossing. It was like a travelling, religious Mexican wave.

Never have I wanted an OP to come back more than this!

@Thistlebell oh no, was it Covent Garden circa 2007/8? I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me. The tickets were a birthday gift, I don't even like Puccini!

Funny we should be talking about music. I have a reaction to it not unlike the OP's, only not noisy or (apart from the Butterfly incident) teary. For example, screaming at Michaelangelo put me in mind of the first recordings of the Sistine Chapel Choir (complete with castrati) from 1902, hearing which for the first time moved and/or traumatised me to the extent that I had to sleep with the light on for the rest of the term. And the experience of wanting to levitate and reach out to touch the ceiling reminded me of Goethe's poem Ganymed, which seems to be at least as much about an emotional response to the sublime as about religious ecstasy: Wolf's setting has always affected me immensely, though I feel elated rather than teary when I hear it. I think something as physically intangible as music (especially on an early recording where the performers are long dead) perhaps provokes that sense of frustration at not being able to reach out and touch the object, that the OP felt in the Sistine Chapel. So for me YANBU, I get how you feel. (I also really like Stendhal.)

Forgot to add that it's highly unlikely that anyone's day was 'ruined' by the OP's moment of weakness. Far stranger things happen in public places all the time. I think the security guards were being a bit OTT about it probably - I haven't been to Rome but I remember the museums in Moscow where you have to creep around and not speak above a whisper.

And I've just remembered that my ex father in law, a former colonel in the Red Army, had a big teary breakdown at Stalin's tomb. Nobody was traumatised or embarrassed or had their holiday ruined AFAIK, although I was a bit at why he was so moved by something he must have seen a gazillion times before.

Im sorry but screaming at Michelangelo puts this into mental health issues category for me. Being overwhelmed and a quite tear is fine but screaming?...

OP, how will you react when divorce papers come through?

Sounds like DH is really fed up.

Surely this should be in classics.
One of the wittiest (?) threads I have read in ages. Certainly brightened my snowy day.

Wonderful thread, still giggling at brilliant posts!

Where's the musical second half? I want to know what happens when sensitive Mary expresses emotion in concerts!

I'll admit to a tear at or two at Christmas, usually infants singing Away in a Manger, but I keep them to myself.
I even controlled myself when perilously near a young Simon Rattle throwing himself into conducting Raven's Bolero, orchestra in full cry, I had to look away ...

Carlos Acosta's dancing may make me blush but it's not, I hope, too noticeable.

Forgot to add that it's highly unlikely that anyone's day was 'ruined' by the OP's moment of weakness
Yes it would. So OP is allowed to be sensitive but others aren't? I've had trips ruined my narcissistic people who talk through loudly on the phone, others who push you so they can take a million pics, people who talk in places of worship where is clearly tells you not to.

I cry at anything. Seriously anything.

But I was seriously underwhelmed by the Sistine Chapel.

I really, really, really love art - as evidenced by the fact that I have a degree in History of Art and still work with it. However, I have yet to scream at a Michelangelo like Uncle Monty wailing outside a butcher's shop. Maybe I don't appreciate it as much as I thought I did?! I do have the occasional discreet sniffle when I see something especially beautiful or moving though - most recently a gorgeous Titian Assumption of the Virgin in a church in Venice. There was no screaming though and I doubt that my boyfriend even noticed that I was having a tiny little cry.

I really wish that the OP had been on my Art History course though - it would have livened the lectures up NO END to have her screaming the place down every time the lecturer changed the slide. And she would have learned how to spell Michelangelo properly as well so win/win really.

Some of us are very sensitive to the injustices at historical sites - I got a similar reaction at the convict places in Tasmania. Your DH's behaviour doesn't sound to me like that of someone who loves you. Sounds bullying to me in his dismissal and putdowns of your distress. He may not understand it but there's no reason to invalidate your experience - as sadly many on here have done.

Don't go with him to see art etc is my advice and get some counselling re emotional abuse. You are not being unreasonable. He's skewing with your reality saying you screamed and you believed him seemingly when in fact to sounds like you were very moved.

My concern for your wellbeing is your distress may actually be due in some part to his seemingly coercive control. Get some professional input to confirm your reality. You are OK as you are.

womanformallyknownaswoman

Emotional abuse?

Does anyone else have that scene in their head from anchorman where will Farrell is in the phone booth screaming "I'm in a glass case of emotion!"

hidden Hahaha! Yes!

womanformallyknownaswoman you're very kind to try and back up the op but she said herself that she was wailing and that random strangers were trying to console her.
Anyway its all irrelevant since she didn't come back. I just hope she read some of these posts and is getting help.

hiddenmnetter it also made me think of anchorman! But it reminds me of the bit where he was on the phone wailing 'the bad man punted Baxter' and no one could make out what he was saying cause he was so distraught! 😂😂😂

A load of mince, enjoyable though and better than the fart thread, which is another new post pile of mince

🎻

I’m actually crying now, with laughter!

Oh God, this is funny. Best half hour I've had for a long time. Please move it to classics.

I went to see 'Dead Poets' Society' with a friend who I knew was quite emotional, but when one of the pupils killed themselves in the film, I was shocked to hear racking sobs from her. I actually did a slo-mo double take as I turned my head to look at her in disbelief. She was a fashion buyer and told me that at one Armani show she could only sit and cry at the sheer beauty and wonderfulness of it his creation. We lost touch, and I actually miss her very much. She was a very kind person.

I'm usually quite Stoney hearted(other than Dumbos mum!) but this tragidoodle always gets me!

To the poster who said they'd never cried at a book before, you've obviously never read Marley & Me! Just dropping in to say thanks to the OP for rounding off a shitty day with fits of giggles, and I am so going to watch Anchorman again tomorrow night