What you do if you're home with the kids?

[ToddlerIs2]

I can't do much by way of housework because he's a climber. He'll also be fine for 10 minutes then yell he's been abandoned.

He doesn't need me sitting playing with him constantly, I think him being able to play on his own but me being available to play is better than me following him round the room.

If I try nd study he will want to press buttons, look in my book, basically interrupt until I stop.

Instead I find myself sitting her watching kids telly, doing nothing which makes me tired,and lethargic and feeling like its even harder to do stuff.

I feel like a crap lazy mum because I am one. Toddler is 2 3/4 yrs.

You have to do household jobs regardless?
Other than that, try to get out and about every day.
Get out some crayons/paint/playdoh to do with him. Read stories etc.

You don’t sound like a crap mum otherwise you wouldn’t care.

Take him out to somewhere. -playgroup, the park, for a walk, feed the ducks, the shops so he can have a bit of a run around.
Do an activity with him at home that’s a bit arty/crafty. Play doh, paints, stickers, cutting and gluing old magazines that kind of stuff.
Read a book or two.
Then tv while you get on with other stuff.

Can't he follow you round if you have jobs to do? My little one bustles around while I do jobs, she loves it. She loves it if I give her little jobs to do- putting a towel away etc.

I'd sit and play a little while and then whenever I had to get on with stuff they'd get put in the play pen, so they could see me but could be safely left to their own devices.
Once they were toddlers I'd give them a plain duster or something so they could 'help' me whilst I did house work

My DS is much younger but I try to get out 3-4 times a week and if I have a day just at home I make part of it about me. So I watch a film in bed when DS naps instead of getting on with anything, or put a face mask on and do my toe nails.

Most days I put a wash on, take DS with me to one room and spend some time tidying up in that room. That way no room gets in too much of a state.

I have also just baby proofed one room so he can roll around the floor and there is nothing to put in his mouth or pull down on himself that will harm him. I can do yoga or go on the exercise bike with him there and just pause if he needs rescuing.

If you were a lazy crap mum you wouldn't be worrying.

I tend to go out in the morning...usually playground/walk to shops/occasionally town to run errands.
Home for lunch.
DS naps...I make myself ignore the mess and study.
In the afternoon he plays with his toys/watches cbeebies and I potter about doing things (It's easier because we're in a flat so I can check on him easily)

I can only do little things like laundry, tidying and dusting...anything involving getting the hoover or cleaning the kitchen/bathroom is either done by DH while I do bedtime or DH takes DS out at tje weekend and I do it then.

If I was single (you dont mention a DP/DH?) I think I'd clean at nap time and study after DS was asleep.

DH works basic full time so out 8-6. I do dinner and tidy, he does bed. I wash up in the day but DS is obsessed with the sink so he either gets really wet or really meltdown.

We are normally out every day, its snowing lightly here which is deterring me today. He loves just being out and walking and being allowed in the big seats if we go out for coffee.

He doesn't like messy play and because he's non verbal is harder to do the taking about what we're doing although obviously I talk to him its just one sided.

If he walks round after me he is the opposite of helpful as he likes emptying things and pulling things off, he is def too clumsy for light dusting haha.

We do read together and he has a ton of kids magazines that he finally old enough to do the stickers in so we do that. We count lots(he walks round the house counting to 10 - yes I know he is none verbal but 1-10 I can decifer from nuances and syllables). We practice his makaton.

On the bus I sing to him.

The housework thing is a fib isnt it. He can be trusted for short bursts and is actually quite independent unless he wants a DVD on (kiddy locks) I just really unmotivated and lethargic.

He doesnt sleep well and I sleep worse so I'm tired but he's perky most of the morning then we go out in the afternoon but I worry he's in the buggy too much.

I just thought our lives would be different.

He doesn't nap unless we're out and about.

I study 8-10 pm or 9-11 pm depending on bed / tidy situation.

I think I need to tidy ine thing every time I walk into a,room but feel guilty that he's on his own

OP - Do you think you might be deficient in vitamins and minerals?

Particularly iron and vitamin D?

Maybe you should get a check up?

In a Connecta toddler papoose on your back or in a playpen while you do housework. Washing up bowl of water on top of a towel on the kitchen floor. Play figures (dinosaurs?) a cup a funnel maybe and a straw. You can get on with kitchen stuff while he is occupied. Chalk to draw on the kitchen floor while you work. A tin of snow again on a towel in the kitchen. Figures (Anna and Elsa in our house!) = child entertained a good while. Playdoh with plenty of accoutrements of Playdoh. Child sized dust pan and brush. Childrens Henry the hoover. Spray bottle filled with water and a cloth to help you tidy. Put him in a big card board box on the kitchen floor while you sort dinner. Intermittantly whizz him round the floor in the box. Put on a nursery rhymes CD and have a sing along with him. All ways i have used to entertain DD who was is a clingy little toad. Also if he still fits in the washing up bowl put him in there (he'll be wedged so safe!) with water and bubbles. In a year or so invest in a decent sized trampoline with safety surround. Situate it outside the back door. This keeps DD just turned 4 entertained for long stretches of time. Let your standatds fall a bit for a year or two!

GrannyGrissle not a chance in hell between my bad back, his 2 stones of cuteness and his general unwillingness to be curtailed from his hard won freedom to move lol. And that's without the added pita of him being on o2. I always wanted to baby wear but def too late to try hahah

We have a small play pen to go with our small house but again, he hates being penned. He's less trouble when he can wander a bit.

The bowl of water etc he does like, but then he ends up soaked and cold and displeased woth my intervention to make him get dry. I guess the only way we'll get through tantrums is to keep practising the triggers and dealing not avoiding them.

No hope of sink, he's a little talk for his age but even without that he'd try and stand up.

Chalk on the floor is a great idea.

Persian possibly, I'm definitely deficient in sleep and I don't have the best diet as toddlers diet is random. He has primarily milk but what he will eat is limited and thigh I try contains very little by way of fresh food so I end up having stuff I know he'll share or we eat out because he loves it

Both my children were dangerous at that age so I'd bomb proof the house essentially and just got through it - they're much better now at 5&9

Is he under medical care (non verbal, milk main diet). Don't underestimate the drain on you of dealing with medical issues

Yeah SEsoftly, o2 and tube fed

*flumpybear bomb proof would cover it ha ha ha

Ah, so really need to cut yourself some slack. This stage is hard enough without added complications.

For today, it's freezing out so get a blanket, put a film on and cuddle up and enjoy having a cuddle.

Then tonight Talk to your DH about making sure you have time and space for a break

Tbf I do, I am out this weekend meeting yo with Uni mates so if he wants to go out he needs to take the toddler. I'm working away for my volunteer work random weekends to so he is a fair and reasonable partner as I would expect him to be.

I think its just getting to new the house anyways being messy but then lacking the oomph to do it, especially when desteucto toddler has a mission.

He currently has his favourite dvd on, has the attention span of a gnat so even if I put a DVD on I'll get him sat for 3 minutes before he wanders off to play or run or twirl in knotty circles lol.

I just sometimes look at my days and think what did I achieve today and the answer is well we're both alive. Everyone goes to 17 toddler groups or holds down simultaneous high flying careers and 14 kids

Somebody on here once said as long as "everybody fed, nobody dead".

I think it can be useful to remind yourself of that when you feel you haven't achieved anything.

It took me ages to accept that my house will not look tidy again while I have young children and no play room. I got down about it at first but Ive let that go now as my sanity now comes first. I now take the line that clean is more important. So I focus on those jobs that keep those house clean and then have tidy sessions every few days or when it’s got really bad or we have visitors. I think you’ll drive yourself mad trying to keep things tidy all the time as at this age they just want to be into everything and just have to breathe to make a mess! Don’t be so hard on yourself!

Dh hates the toys out once toddler is in bed so living room is tidied and swept eveey night, waging up is largely done, sides cleaned etc so the basics are clean.

We went into town and he fell asleep so I went to kfc for lunch then for a ride around the shops once he woke, snowing so too cold for walking, so I could pick up some unicorns for his birthday cake because he's having a unicorn cake and I care not a twiglet who judges his unicorn love.
Got home same time as hubby so no dinner cooked and living room a bomsbsite. Thankfully he knows to keep any dialogue about it in his head!!!

OP, tell your husband that it isn't 1954 any more.

You don't need to do all the housework and all the cooking.

Either he can get the dinner on and you tidy up or vice versa.

OP you’re being too hard on yourself.

You’re most likely doing a great job.

It would be good for you to go out more, but only if you’re not too tired. Otherwise you’ll just tire yourself out more.

When did you last get a break or time to yourself?

Oh God no Persian he's putting Toddler to bed which takes an hour. I wash up then tidy living room in that time. If he is down before me he tidies too. I just meant if I'm alone and DH won't be back til midnight ima bit meh about tidying them all but it annoys DH so he makes sure they're tidied away and if I finish kitchen before he finishes toddler I either swap or tidy the toys

I worked a couple of Saturdays ago but we went out after for drinks and dinner. DH has toddler from waking to sleeping.
I'm away this Saturday meeting uni friends for lunch. With travel it'll be all day. But that's it on that if I'm off mommy duty I'm busy and if I'm not busy I'm on mommy duty - as are all parents I guess so there's never really tine to loll about and watch a toddler free movie hefore8.30 and then subject to him waking etc. So when he is c quietly destroying the living room cutely my body goes uugghhh just don't move yet