So DS currently sees his dad EOW Fri to Sun.. Unless he has a sleep over with mates or his dad makes other plans I. E holidays etc..
His dad lives about a 45 min drive away so if DS has a party sat am, His dad refuses to get him from the pm to the Sunday.. So have always given DS the choice of what he wants to do since age 10.whixh his dad was happy with
DS is now 12.
His dad is married has been with her maybe 10 years. I have a Fiancé and baby on way.
The last few times ds has gone. He has come back saying things like his SM and SSis are always on at him. Silly things like his dad will ask.. How's school.. And typical teen reply ' fine' or 'yeah OK but boring'
Which we pretty much get at home.. Nothing elaborate
Then his SM or step sis will have a go about being disrespectful etc.
Their grandson who is 4 yesterday spilled something and blamed my DS. Now obviously I wasn't there so I honestly don't know both sides of the story.
But it then all had kicked off as when DS said it wasn't him. They replied well xxxx is only 4 so can't lie!
So again, not by any stretch condoning DS but he gave attitude and said he felt it was unfair and he felt ganged up on.
This resulted in his dad flying off the handle and having a shout at him.. Scaring him. To the point he text me to pick him up.. I tried to ring him and his dad took phone off him..
I asked if he could bring DS back and he refusedbut I could hear he was angry and DS was upset.
So I went to collect him..bearing in mind I'm 39 weeks pregnant and uncomfortable.
His wife then rang saying DS Has been a bastard ( her words) all day. Had refused to do homework etc.
I said until I got there there wasn't much I could do bar listen to both sides etc.
Got there at 10.30pm last night. An very upset DS and his dad wouldn't let him get a word in edgeways.. Proceeded to tell me how horrible DS was etc. I tried to say that, tbh he's a pre teen and I often get the grumbles etc etc.
When we left DS said his side.when I went to tell him he should of done homework he said he had and showed me it. Said how his step sis and step mum always have a go. That in ear shot his step. Mum said he's selfish. That in ear shot his dad said to his wife. ' parenting is shit'
DS is always saying his dad and sm argue loads and he hates it.
Calmed DS down and he went to bed.
This morning he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay overnight anymore, and wanted a break from going.. But maybe he could see his Dad just the two of them
So. I rang his dad and said that.
His reply was I'm. Not talking to him. Until he apologieses.. That when he shouted at DS, DS just glared ( DS does this to zone out to try and avoid getting upset) and would it take to ' beat' him to get him to see sense
I went mad and said if he ever touched him I'd report him.. He said go on then ( I left him due to DV)
Well DS could hear all. This and said mum hang up on him, he doesn't ever listen.
The call was left as, DS should be apologiesing to him not the other way round.! And that if DS doesn't go then I can kiss my cms goodbye ( I'm not bothered about the money as I know he would. Legal have to pay)
I said, well I will leave it to DS if he wants to come but let him calm down.. And he said 'you're no parent unless you force him to come, he shouldn't get a choice...'
He's 12 so surely he's old enough to make that decision?
now I will say DS is far far from. Perfect, yes he does give attitude etc so please don't think I'm making out like he is completely innocent, and as I say I wasn't there to know exactly what went on. I can only go by what Ive been told I just want to know aibu in leaving DS to make decision on whether to go or not?