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AIBU?

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Original poster

6pm is ridiculous right?

90 replies

lils888 · 25/02/2018 22:40

Just received an invite for a 5 years olds party. 6pm at a social club.

AIBU to assume this is an adults piss up rather than a child's party?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/02/2018 11:32

If there's a bit of music mine (when 5) would go til midnight!

So would mine.

I wonder how more rigid parents manage at weddings or on holiday?

Are the kids always tucked up in bed and never out at night, for special occasions?

LoniceraJaponica · 26/02/2018 11:38

I used to envy parents with children who went to bed near 7pm and slept for 12 hours. DD has never been a 12 hour sleeper.

CavoliRiscaldati · 26/02/2018 11:50

I don't know how anyone manage to get everything done and have kids in bed by 7. Even if they are too young to have homework, by the time you cook tea, eat, have a bath it's way later than that.

How do people do in the summer? Are the kids missing out because they are already in bed?

Topseyt · 26/02/2018 12:53

I don't get the issue.

Go along at 6, stay for a couple of hours and see what it is and how things are going. Go home when you need to.

Why so rigid about bedtime? Once in a while flexibility won't hurt.

acquiesce · 26/02/2018 13:05

I would go, drive and leave around 8/9pm when the kids start to get cranky. (If as you said you HAVE to go)
Saying that tho I have a 2 YO who I know would sleep in the car on the way home, a 6 year old probably not!
All 5 year olds I know would hate that as a party tho, I remember going to them as a kid and being glad my parents organised actual children’s parties for me rather than piss ups!

NiceHotBath · 26/02/2018 13:08

Fine if your child can happily be awake until late. Mine can’t (cries for her bed, won’t be distracted, won’t nap elsewhere). I would have thought that was true for many 5yos, so I can’t imagine they’ll get much of a turn out, but that’s their problem.

Commuterface · 26/02/2018 13:16

That would be a no for me. DD6 had an in invitation to a party starting at 5pm (until 7pm) in reception. She went (and younger DD who was 3 at the time) but it was a bit much for them when factoring in the wind down time before bed.

hairycoo · 26/02/2018 13:25

Doesn't your children's school have parties later than this on a school night. Dc is 6 and his school discos are 6.30 to 7.45 and usually on a thursday. No child afaik has dropped down dead due to this. I think you need to get a grip tbh.

user1490607838 · 26/02/2018 13:41

@upsideup

What I was thinking, my 3 and 4 year olds have probably stayed up past 10 over 10 times this year already. They would miss out on so much fun if they had to be in bed every single night at the same time.

That is a terrible idea. No 3 year old should be up til 10pm on such a regular basis!

I know a few people (including several extended family members,) who have always kept their kids up til 10-11pm (even at 3 to 5 years old,) often watching films, or pissing around on the games consoles. Now (at around 8-11 y.o,) they struggle with learning at school, and also have behavioural issues. It's clearly because of the lack of boundaries, and lack of decent rest and sleep.

Toddlers and infants need a good amount of sleep, not to be kept up at night as long as the adults. Hmm

Yeah, staying up late now and again is OK, but keeping toddlers and infants up til 10 or 11 at night (on a regular basis,) is poor parenting.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/02/2018 13:54

10 times so far this year is hardly 'regular'!!! It's not every night is it ..... barely once a week! And that poster wasn't talking about 'pissing about on games consoles' .....

turnipfarmers · 26/02/2018 14:01

If the parents are at work then when else are they supposed to do it?

SoftSheen · 26/02/2018 14:08

It's too late for a social event aimed at 5 year olds. 3-5 pm or 4-6 pm would be much more sensible timings IMO.

CavoliRiscaldati · 26/02/2018 14:13

That is a terrible idea. No 3 year old should be up til 10pm on such a regular basis!

Kids in many European countries do just that, France, Spain and so on and they survive just fine. They sleep longer in the morning. I know the UK is obsessed with kids getting up between 5 and 6am, but it's actually quite nice when they don't.

Original poster
lils888 · 26/02/2018 14:18

I will of course go, my kids go to many events and stay up late for special ones such as weddings. When tired I try to get them home, if not they sleep on a row of chairs put together.

I was more along the lines of being annoyed as everything these parents tend to do seem to be around their social lives.

I've never had such a late invite for anything supposedly child focused, with the exception of sleepovers at an older age.

I also dislike this persons group of friends and majority of my family. I will very much be designated babysitter. I already am when they all rush out of the door to smoke together (1 fag seems to take about an hour to bloody smoke)

Rant over, I'll go. I'll be fine, my kids will survive. But I haven't been convinced that this isn't a kids party, it's a piss up with no available babysitters disguised as a kids party. I hope I'm wrong, there's always a first for everything I guess Grin

OP posts:
Overrunwithlego · 26/02/2018 14:20

Well it all depends on what your own kid is like and how much sleep they need, doesn’t it. My 6 year old isn’t in bed til 8 on a school night, maybe 8:30 at the weekend. Awake 6:30-7, so still gets 10-11 hours which is plenty for her. A 6pm party would be fine.

Her close friend the same age is always in bed for 7, sometimes earlier, has to be dragged out of bed for school and will sleep til 9 at the weekend. She clearly needs a lot more sleep. A 6pm party would not be fine, or at least not on a school night.

Based on the fact that our Beavers for 6-8 year olds meets 6:15-7:15pm on a school night, I wouldn’t say it’s an outrageous idea for a kid that age though.

Piffle11 · 26/02/2018 14:21

Maybe they are inviting adults who work, and won't be able to get there til 6. BIL and his ex used to invite every member of their families to their DS's parties: twice as many adults as kids! The time wouldn't bother me: even if kids are usually in bed early, they are usually too busy having a good time to feel tired. My DS's school have discos and movie nights, and they start after 6pm: any year is allowed to attend from age 4 upwards. The last one was actually a school night, too.

flowery · 26/02/2018 14:37

So you don’t like the people who will be there, it’s an inconvenient time, and you expect to be used as a babysitter ?

Struggling to see why on earth you’d go at all?!

Llanali · 26/02/2018 14:52

Nearly all the four year old birthday parties, including my own DC have been 5-7 or 5.30-7.30pm here for the last year or so ...

Original poster
lils888 · 26/02/2018 15:04

Flowery - because as much as I hate all of them I adore my niece to pieces and would do anything for her

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 26/02/2018 15:21

If it was 6-7.30 or so I think that's ok but 6 until late definitely sounds like it's for the parents benefit. In most circumstances I would decline the invite.

Crunkly · 26/02/2018 15:33

Aww that’s sweet.
I would just say if you are genuinely able to put it all aside then brilliant - go. If you’re going to end up being a bit p*ed off about it then don’t, because it’ll only spoil the atmosphere for your niece.

WorraLiberty · 26/02/2018 15:38

Flowery - because as much as I hate all of them I adore my niece to pieces and would do anything for her

Still no need to martyr yourself

I'm sure she'll have a lovely time regardless. She's just turning 5, she probably won't remember the party at all in a few years, let alone who turned up and who didn't.

blackteasplease · 26/02/2018 16:42

Not ridiculous but maybe a bit later than usual.

Inthetropics · 26/02/2018 16:49

Is it possible that the family has a diferent cultural background? This is extremely normal in many countries, mine included.

BackforGood · 26/02/2018 16:51

I also dislike this persons group of friends and majority of my family. I will very much be designated babysitter

Ah
so this is nothing to do with the time of the party at all.

If you don't like the people, then don't go. It's not difficult.
Your niece won't remember if you are there or not in a room full of people. If you want to make some special memories, then invite her to yours or take her out on another day "to make up for not being able to come to the party"

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