To move ds to a different primary

[user1495362060]

I am really losing my mind over this, so will be thankful for any input.

My 5yo ds attends a local primary school. The school seems OK. He has made some friends, likes his teacher and is generally happy to go to school every day. However we live slightly farther away than most other families and my son attended a different nursery than most of his classmates. As a result I don't know any local parents and he doesn't get many playdates. We can move to the school area in a few months, which hopefully would solve this problem.

However I can also move him to a different, very academic and very sought after school next year. This is the school where most of the kids from his nursery went to, so knows a few children there. My commute would be much easier (the school is near my job and my younger child's nursery is also just round the corner from there). I also feel it would be much easier to connect to the parents there, because we have similar background (i.e both parents work and more international diverse community).

If I ask him he says he wants to stay in his current school. Would it be selfish of me to move him? The caveat is that we are likely to move again in just two years. Or am I overthinking it?

3 schools in 2 years? No way!

Yes for the friends from nursery and easier commute, why not? I don't think moving a child loads is ideal, but then neither is staying in a very meh school where he doesn't have particularly close friends which is inconvenient for you. And there's definitely worse things that moving schools! Also I think you need to make the decision rather than your 5 year old, it's too big a decision for him really and at that age I think it's likely he'll just want to stay in current set up.

2 schools in four years. maybe i haven't made myself clear enough.

It's worth moving but it has to be your decision, not his. Educatiomal decisions arr for parents.

You seem sensible OP. Go for it

It’s a better school, your commute will be easier and he has ready made friends there... it would be a no brainier for me.

I would make the move as it seems to suit everyone better.

We were in the same position with our primary school (further away than most), but persevered with arranging playdates, and it wasn't a problem. How much effort do you put in to build friendships out of school hours?
If you weren't going to be moving again in two years I would maybe think differently, but he's happy where he is, his old nursery friends are likely to have made stronger friendships with each other by now, and he may not just fall back into old friendships. It can be horribly stressful moving schools, even at that age, so if he's happy I'd keep that to a minimum.

I can see pros and cons. I did move DD in the middle of primary for similar reasons and she settled fine.

Be aware though, that at 5 you're nearing the end of playdates being with your friends children. They soon start making more meaningful friendships of their own and you end up arranging play dates with people you don't know but who's children your child happens to like. So it may soon matter less whether you know other parents. (I did find DD got more playdates though once she was at a closer school, as they/we were easier to get to)

Unless you have made an effort in the meantime, the nursery friendships will have lapsed by now. Academics won't really matter for now, let him settle.

Just because they were friends in nursery doesn't mean they will be friends in school. Children will make their own friends and split up from each other. So just keep that in mind- he may not just blend back into the group.