Why do I get obsessed with people?

[EvenFlowJam]

It's happened ever since I can remember. At school I became obsessed with a girl a few years above me and would think about her constantly and make up daydreaming scenarios in my head about her. Then I became obsessed with a bloke who worked near the school and ended up full on stalking him. Luckily he wasn't the type to take advantage of a 13 year old school girl.
There have been loads over the years, mostly male but the odd female too.

Now I'm in my 30s and have developed an obsession with a man 30 years older than myself. It's not that I fancy him, I'm just fascinated by him. We know each other through a mutual sporting activity so send the odd friendly message to each other and I see him once a week but I am absolutely obsessed with him. I check Facebook every 5 minutes to see if he's responded to anything I've put on there. I think about him every minute of every day. I don't know why I do this but it's an unhealthy obsession and actually effects my moods.

Why does this happen and how do I stop it??

Would you consider going for cognitive behaviour therapy? Ingrained habits are hard to break, we usually end up replacing them with other habits instead.
Usually you're taught how to stop yourself obsessing and redirect your attention on to something else.

Definitely therapy. See your GO. Although knowing you have an issue is a lot of the battle already won

GP*

I think some people are obsessive by nature OP - I certainly am - no idea why though. It's not necessarily always a bad thing. I get obsessed with plans and projects too which means that I can try and harness it in a productive way. I certainly achieve a lot in this way at work.

When things become all consuming, I find the best thing is distraction. If you are using Facebook to feed your obsession, get off it for a while. Uninstall the app or even better, deactivate your account for a bit.

Then find something else to do. You say you like a certain sport - go and do that. Or any other hobbies or new things you could do?

Is it related to something you feel you're missing in your life, or in yourself?

Yes I would consider therapy as I can only imagine how I come across to these people.

Obviously, if that doesn't work, the next step would be to see your GP or a therapist if you have one.

It probably is about feeling like I'm missing out on something. The women I obsess over are often the type of woman I want to be and the blokes tend to have the personality I am attracted to - although I don't find them actually attractive if that makes sense? It's just their personalities

I did CBT for agoraphobia, it was really helpful. Its not a talking therapy so you don't have to go into the past in excruciating detail, they're more interested in how you want to be in the future.

You need to go and see your GP to be referred for help before it takes over your life and you get yourself into trouble with it.

I have nothing helpful to say but your post has really made me laugh! It's so candid and open:

"I can only imagine how I come across to these people" 😂😂😂

FWIW you do sound like a absolutely lovely person.

**AN absolutely lovely person. Jesus wept.