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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel completely disillusioned (men)

5 replies

FfsFrieda · 25/02/2018 08:56

I’ve recently split from my ex. I walked downstairs one night and caught him video chatting with a woman (naked woman). It turns out while I’d been seeing to our dd, who has autism so requires some care in the night, he’s been rekindling an online romance with a woman who loves not far from here (and who he has slept with).

It was a complete shock. I was one of those slightly smug ‘oh no, my dh would never do that to me’ types and my whole world crashed down.

Since then, even as early as one night after he left, I’ve received messages from four different ‘friends’, all male, all married. One is his friend and the other three are my friends husbands/partners.

Now I’m under no illusions that I’ve morphed into some kind of sex kitten. I’m an overweight, knackered shell of my younger self.

But these bastards have messaged me some pretty awful things.

One just flat out asked to see a picture of my cleavage and kept going on about ‘my amazing’ tits. I blocked him instantly after telling him if he ever dared say anything like that again to me I’d tell my friend.

One tried to start a ‘secret chat’ on fb messenger with me (I don’t really understand it but it came up as ‘secret’ and the writing was in black)

I do/did actually consider this guy a good friend so joked and asked why and were we plotting some kind of coup. He then proceeded to ask me if I needed any ‘company’ and started to talk about how much he wanted to see me.

They are now all blocked but I’m staying away from Facebook anyway now. I fee completely shit on by these men I trusted in my life.

Betrayed by my dh and then my ‘friends’ swooping in like vultures apparently assuming I’ve lost all self confidence and am easy pickings.

I mean honestly, who has ever actually replied to ‘show me your breats’ with ‘oh yeah, sure’

Sorry, needed to vent after waking up to messages from a different account from them apologising.

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 25/02/2018 09:05

I can imagine how you feel, it's horrendous. It's a long time ago now, but yes, when I broke up with my then fiance, his mates weren't tardy in coming forward with the proposals (thank goodness no smart phones at the time, so dick pics had to come in the post!).

Take some time on your own, to be alone, to be you and to find a new normal. I did and it put me in a great mental state to decide if I wanted to even pursue another relationship, when the opportunity came along.

Single life can be really bloody good if you see it as an opportunity to explore yourself and your life with a view to how you see your future :)

Slartybartfast · 25/02/2018 09:09

They sound like animals

GrannyGrissle · 25/02/2018 09:51

'Dick pics had to come in the post' brilliant!

Zaphodsotherhead · 25/02/2018 10:01

Some of these 'swoopers' may have been at the behest of your 'D'H would wanted to see if you'd fall for it, so he could turn around and say 'you see, you're just as bad as me - the second I'm out of the house you're chatting to blokes and showing them your tits!'

Because sometimes men think women think like they do.

FfsFrieda · 25/02/2018 10:42

Strangely enough, despite the shock, it’s actually been quite peaceful at home. I hadn’t even realised the atmosphere but there must have been one. It’s like a cloud has been lifted.

OP posts:
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