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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel so alone right now.

17 replies

WhoAteMyCandy · 24/02/2018 20:01

The bf has gone away for work this morning and is not home untill next Saturday evening. I knew I would miss him but never expected to feel lonely. Especially not on the first night apart. I just feel like 1/4 of me is missing and ofcorse the three year old is playing up.......

Me and the bf in most people's opinions are properly far to close. The only time we are apart is when he's a work in the week and Saturday morning when he takes our son out for a hour or two for there daddy and son time.
I have plans for everyday to keep me and my son busy but I'm dreading the evenings when's he's gone to bed.

I know I properly sound very silly and Its good to have time apart but I'm just not use to it.

OP posts:

MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 24/02/2018 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 24/02/2018 20:06

Is either of you controlling or jealous because that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship....

ThisLittleKitty · 24/02/2018 20:09

Try being single then your lonely all the time. You get use to it then. He's only away a short time. I'm sure you will cope.

Spottytop1 · 24/02/2018 20:13

No it's not silly. When you are used to having someone around and then they go away on business for a period of time it can be really strange and leave you at a loose end.

I tend to find the first night the hardest and the get used to it and enjoy having free reign over the remote!

Lozxx · 24/02/2018 20:14

Wow these comments are actually cruel there is nothing wrong with missing someone. I miss my partner when I'm not with him it's because I love him!
It's great you are keeping busy I have a son and we just go out lots together hopefully you have a good week and your partner will be back in no time

kabanner · 24/02/2018 20:20

You just got to put those big girl pants on an get on with it. Harsh maybe but true.

When my now Ex was away for months with in Iraq/Afghanistan and I was lucky to have the odd phone call when I had a wobble I just thought of my Nan, 22 one child and a husband away for 4 years no known return date with the odd letter.

The world is so much more connected now people will always be close somehow.

Enjoy some time for you.

rogermooresfifthwife · 24/02/2018 20:33

Do you never go out with your friends without him?

I've been where you are but when I was much younger and before children. It didn't feel very healthy to be so reliant on one person. Maybe take this as a wake up call to broaden your horizons a little? It's actually nice to be ok on your own at home, you're missing out

HappyGirl86 · 24/02/2018 20:37

My husband is a police officer so we don't get much time together, I'm often on my own at nights and sometimes I do find it hard. So I can understand how you feel.
Just try to remember how lucky you are to have all that time together normally, and see this break as a time to enjoy your little one and keep yourself busy doing things together. It will be lovely bonding time for you both- sounds like you don't get much time just the two of you.
I have a 2 year old and it can be hard work doing it all on your own but keep remembering he is coming back and it's only for a short while. I used to love all the time on my own but now we have a child I find it harder as it's so tiring!
I hope you have a good week OP!

gttia · 24/02/2018 20:38

Not silly, no. Tell us about your plans for the coming week? What will you eat and watch on tv. Have you Abby jobs you can do whilst he's away that will fill your evening and give you a focus. Even nice jobs like sorting your photos etc x

MermaidTailUnicornHorn · 24/02/2018 20:42

It will be lovely bonding time for you both- sounds like you don't get much time just the two of you.

Really? Sounds like the OP spends 24/7 with her child, aside from 1/2 hours a week.

bubblegumble · 24/02/2018 20:42

I've been with DH for 9 1/2 years and I feel like this. In the last 7 years, we've spent 3 nights apart!

If he goes out in the evening, I miss him.
I go to bed really early (like 8-9) and he's downstairs on the pc BUT just knowing he's in the house makes me feel better.

Neither of us is controlling, we just like knowing the other is there. DH can't fall asleep unless I'm in bed with him, if he does manage to sleep then he has a very disturbed sleep because he misses my presence!

theothersideoftheworld · 24/02/2018 20:43

My husband had to go away urgently for work this week, won’t be back until next weekend. I’ve had to juggle work , childcare etc. I’m used to it though and recently did a year apart . I have 2 young Dc.
The trick is planning stuff. During the day, plan your activities, in the evening have a bath, get some wine and chocs and take charge of the remote. It’s ok to miss someone but don’t let that overcome you .

SwarmOfCats · 24/02/2018 20:47

Not silly! My boyfriend and I have time apart, do things without each other, are perfectly capable of being independent, ibut still miss each other horribly when one of us is away.

Can you make some plans for the evening? Pick films to watch, take care of yourself, try to make something, that sort of thing?

Original poster

WhoAteMyCandy · 24/02/2018 20:51

I'm missing him as I'm not use to him not being here. If he was hear right now he would be playing one of his silly games on his pc and I would be watching something on Netflix and colouring in ( my hobby) and just ignoring each other.

Neither of us are controlling or jealous we just like being together like
bubblegumble said.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 24/02/2018 20:56

"feel like 1/4 of me is missing" sounds a bit dramatic to me.

ThisLittleKitty · 24/02/2018 20:59

How on earth do people cope! Also wondering if either of you ever go out with friends without the other one?

teaiseverything · 24/02/2018 21:02

Understandable OP but it does sound a bit much, a bit OTT. Normally when my DH goes away, it's a bit, "Wooooohoooo!" for 3-5 days and then, yes, the missing him starts to creep in. In those 3-5 days though, I enjoy the house staying tidy, full control of the tv, I order a takeaway, cook some nice dinners...really just have some me time. Could you perhaps try to look at it like that?

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