AIBU In Not Wanting People to Add me to group Chats, or Worse...

[RockinHippy]

Or worse add me to a "chat" with a complete stranger, without asking or having a clue what's going on in my life, just because they have similar health problems & live nearby & therefore that somehow means we will "get on"

I've admittedly been quite blunt, but polite in saying "no thanks" & pointing them to suitable support groups. Though TBH I thought the acquaintance who thought this was an okay thing to do, would have at least apologise, rather than just ignore my reply all together

DH thinks I was perhaps a bit blunt, but for some reason this is a common theme for me & other friends (never close ones) have done the same thing, I've had similar when going out too, to the point where I won't bother going to an event if certain people are there because I sure as hell don't want to spend a night out discussing ailments & nothing else.

It's not that I mind advising where I can, I often do, but I don't want this invasion of my privacy/personal space , if that makes sense & I don't understand why people think it's okay, especially if the don't know me well. Plus this weird presumption that I need friends & therefore I'm a good bet for anyone struggling with health issues that's feeling isolated. I don't need friends, I'm lucky to have plenty of old friends that I just wish I had more time & energy to spend time with.

AIBU to think this is rude, presumptive & to be peed off as I am more than just my health problems. Genuine query

TIA

For the sake of not drip feeding, I do have a huge amount of stuff going on in my life atm, from good friends in critical condition in ICU, to my DB being seriously ill, plus DDs Disabilities & much more

Can you not just remove yourself from them, or up your privacy settings?

Sorry you are going through so much

I'd find it incredibly odd and would likely just exit the group. Never had this happen before and didn't realise people did this. YANBU!

Had this happen before. I just leave the group. If it's a close friend a send another message to them saying hope they're not offended but I just have too much on ATM. It drives me up the wall to be honest!

Thanks for the replies.

I should have been more clear, just wasn't sure how to word myself. Today's incident wasn't so much a group chat, more an acquaintance deciding to introduce me to a friend of theirs without asking & started the chat purely for that reason, my/their health issues listed as a discussion starter There was only 3 of us in it, so just leaving without saying anything would maybe have been just as rude

Going to check if I can tighten up settings to stop anyone else doing that without my say so, it's messenger, so I wasn't aware that can be done, thanks for the heads up👍🏼

& thanks for the reassurance that I'm not just an antisocial misery guts

Might take away your reassurance, but I am an antisocial miseryguts!

But being added to a small group like that with no warning, nope. I'd probably chicken out though and just pretend I'd never seen it (access it in airplane mode to read!)