You can be anything you want to be works both ways?

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DD has to pick her options. She wants to pick music and art but her mentor is pushing her towards more academic subjects because she is so bright and could achieve anything.

She's been advised to watch a documentary about a boy whose parents told him he wasn't clever enough to be a doctor who is now on his way to Oxbridge

AIBU to think it works both ways? Yes, DD is capable of achieving anything and obtaining any career she chooses but what she wants to be (atm) is a colourist. Of course this might change but every career she has picked has been arty (fashion designer or buyer for a big fashion house, animator or graphic designer, tattooist and now a hairdresser).

FWIW, I have pushed her to do something academic in case she changes her mind. She's opted for triple science because I gently shoved her in that direction and I will be gently shoving her towards an English AS or A level alongside her other studies if she goes on to do hairdressing at sixteen.

I agree with you, it’s like the whole SAHM thing, it’s like people aren’t allowed to want o stay at home anymore, they should be going for a high flying careeer as well as looking after a family etc
We are supposed to have more choices but only if that choice is working in a stressful high paying job!

Yanbu - it does go both ways.

And music is not a doss subject! It's hard, and involves a lot of discipline. I started the GCSE and switched to something more academic within a month, that I ultimately found easier. Kids who took art in my school had to do a lot of work, too. She'll do a lot better at her GCSEs if she's passionate about the subjects, and there's still plenty of options left open to her at post-16.

leave aside that I think we start to specialise way too young and should have the chance to explore more different subjects for longer

Has she done any work experience yet? A week on her feet for ten hours a day in a salon may show her that a hairdresser's life is not the easiest, and there are less physically tiring ways of earning money.
Does she know the realities of how much stylists earn, and how the industry works in terms of what they have to pay for out of their income?

Who said that music is not an academic subject??

They are wrong.

How old is she?

PhilODox, I am a stylist, so she knows how that works. She loves reading through my college work.

She doesn't want to be a hairdresser, she wants to be a colour specialist and go off to London seeking fame and fortune like Guy Tang and Lee Stafford.

She hasn't done any work experience yet and might change her mind. It was only a few months ago she was going to be a famous tattooist like Kat Von D, so I assume she will change her mind a million times over before she reaches 16. And that's fair enough, I will support her in anything she chooses to do.

Her mental health is not great. I think pushing her to subjects she doesn't enjoy is going to cause her more harm than good and result in poorer GCSE results.

She's fourteen, soon to be fifteen.

YANBU, I agree with you. Just because they can do an academic subject doesn’t mean they should!

Much better all round to do what you enjoy.

If she’s not fixed on a career direction she just needs to keep her options open. Music is a valid subject and not an easy one, and good to combine with science and/or maths. Ps - musicians have a lot of skills and qualities that are attractive to employers: agile mind, hard working, team players, self- confidence.

Have you explained to her, or even if you have; sometimes you have to just learn it for yourself. That life is not a linear progression. So today colourist, tomorrow graphic designer and next year perhaps fashion designer. It is not always a straight-forward trajectory.

What have you advised? My first degree was absolute bullshit. I'd rather have done something academic to have to fall back on should the proverbial hit the fan.

So at least she's got an insight into the industry
Thing is, one in how many can be too colourists?
She should have good qualifications to fall back on.
Do you think she's genuinely interested in colouring, or sees it as an easier next step, or just after a glamour, fame-filled life?
Art is a tricky subject at GCSE- you can do very well in it, but you have to put in hours and hours of extra work outside the lessons. That doesn't mean she shouldn't do it, she should be aware of that, that's all- if she loves it, she'll want to anyway.

I think she's genuinely interested in coloring but she's also genuinely interested in tattoos too. The fashion thing seemed to be a passing fancy.

I have told her that she can change her mind. She can do whatever GCSE subjects she likes and go on to hairdressing or A levels and if she doesn't have the right GCSEs for the college she wants, she can go back and do the right GCSEs.

If she does hairdressing for a year or even two years, she can still go on to do A levels and uni if she changes her mind. She can do hairdressing and go on to uni from that qualification though her options will be severely limited, it is possible to do a degree in hair, make-up and special effects.

I agree she should keep her options open, which is why I pushed her towards Science and will push her to English A/As level if she does do hairdressing at sixteen. I disagree with her being pushed towards academics and high flying careers because she is capable when she has never expressed an interest in doing so.

It's a hard one. She may change her mind and it would be a shame if she'd limited her chances.

DS wanted to be a computer programmer from the age of 10. He did lots of programming and self taught via the Internet. Won competitions, we went round Google and Facebook etc. I was wondering about apprenticeships. Then in Year 10 he did a week's work experience in a computer programming company and completely changed his mind! Dropped it as an A Level completely.

In your shoes I'd accept that she wants to be a colourist but encourage her to keep her options open.

I was in a similar position to your daughter at her age.
I always wanted to be a hairdresser since childhood, but I was discouraged by school because they wanted me to do a levels and uni (as it looks good for them!). Being young and naive, and with no supportive parent to help me challenge this, that's what I went with.
I wish I had a parent like you who would back up their child's choices.
That said, of course it's wise to have academic subjects as well.
If your daughter is bright and hard working there is every chance she could be successful.

User what makes you think this? they wanted me to do a levels and uni (as it looks good for them!
Ima teacher and I have no idea where you arrived at this idea. Or why you think doing either of those things would stop you being a hairdresser.

I was very academic and did academic subjects with a nice sensible degree and got a nice, sensible professional job which I don't think has given me one day's happiness in 30 years.

I really wish I'd made other choices. If she knows what she wants then let her follow her bliss if it's achievable.

I would encourage her to take as many qualifications as possible at this stage, in order to keep her options open. She may well change her mind later on, and regret not keeping her academic options open.

Most schools offer 4 A level options, so she could do music, art and 2 other subjects.

I would let her do what she wants to do.

My dd sounds similar to yours. Mine is extremely bright, top streams, tipped for 7s and 8s at gcse. However what she really wants to do is be either a hairdresser or make up artist.

She chose drama over art in her options purely because of the back stage stuff in drama. She loves art and her art teacher was distraught that she didn't chose it. But she was adamant that she wanted to do drama.

The rest of her subjects are pretty dry. With lots of coursework and essay style exams. The drama breaks it up a bit and most importantly it's interesting to her because she sees it as useful to her further education and career.

She has also been told to aim higher than a hairdresser or make up artist. As the money won't be good. She replies that one of the wealthiest people we know is my hairdresser who is very business savvy. She is also one of the most travelled people we know due to her career.

There are degees in hairdressing now. And also careers doing things like designing wigs, colour work and so on.

On a survey I read a few years ago hairdressers were also the happiest people in their careers. It's something that is quite family friendly and something you can easily become self employed in.

It doesn't sound as if your dd knows what she wants to do yet. Which is not surprising as she is very young really and there are many many options at this point. I understand why schools push children to think about their future because they want to make sure they are incentivized to work hard, however it can cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety. Many children will change their minds because they find new interests or find out more about possible careers . My dd got really stressed because she wanted to be an author and got so much negative feedback, and while the advice was well meaning it was very discouraging. My ds was like whiteroseredrose, wanted to do IT right the way up to first year university but has now dropped it.

I think the important thing is any child at 14 (and 16 too if possible) is to keep her options open as much as possible balanced by taking subjects she will do well at plus subjects she enjoys. Do any of the careers she has expressed interest in have associated courses that really need starting at 16? Unless she has discovered a passion by then I'd discourage narrow vocational courses.

I was very capable academically and pushed down the maths and sciences route. I did a science degree, loathed every minute of it and never used it. I encourage my kids to do what they have a passion for.

DD1 has decent A levels and is doing a Graphic Design degree. She dithered for a while about doing hairdressing and we looked at a private college in London that seemed a good alternative to a degree.

We are business people and think the best way to make money is to work for yourself. Hairdressing is a skill that allows you to do that.

Tattooist and body piercer here. The bubble has popped on the tattoo trend and i expect that fashions will change regarding extensive ink reality star scummers will kill it heaps of 'bought the kit on Ebay' types who opened shops, disfigured a few mugs and ran up business debt are now gone. My plan for DD4 is to study hard, if university is required then go, ie medicine, if not an apprenticeship plumber would be handy Tattooists often have knackered eyes and backs by the time they are 40 and there just isn't the same scope for making money faster than you can spend it these days unless you are famous/the top of your game/very good as self promotion.
That said i am happy to teach DD to tattoo (i completed a 3 year apprenticeship but this was years ago) so she can put herself through Uni working in a tattoo studio on a minimum of £60 p/h (usually split 50/50 with the studio owner so £30 p/h) but would never advise her to go into this industry as an end goal even though i've had an absolute blast and wasted more money than i dare admit

Cardibach I think it's because I went to a school with poor gcse/a level results, and training to be a hairdresser would mean leaving and going to college. Of course you can do both, you know that and I know that, but not all teachers are understanding like you are.

Absolutely agree YANBU.
Just wondering if she’s thought about doing something with stage/film wardrobe / hair and makeup? My friend’s sister is a stage makeup artist, it’s quite a skill and she gets to be really creative! Plus potentially work with lots of famous / talented people