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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid school rule?

571 replies

upsideup · 24/02/2018 15:12

DC's school recently introuduced an hour of silent reading per week, dd absolutely loved this (DS doesn't but it has encouraged him to read more). Untill now they have been taking in a book from home, DD10 who spends hours reading for pleasure anyway takes in the book shes reading at home. I dont choose her books and I am also not strict about what she reads, was already aware that some of the books she enjoys were targeted at an age range slightly above hers.
We have had a letter home saying that dd's book this week was rated as 14+ so is not suitable to be read at school and I should send her in with a book suitable for her age so under 10's as teachers are not going to be closely monitoring what books the children are reading. That is ridiculous right?
She had not told us this all week as shes worried shes in trouble with the teacher but her book was taken off her and she was given a random book from the libary by the teacher which is not the sort of thing she likes and was too 'babyish' for her so she spent the whole lesson doing nothing.
To be clear the books she is reading are young teen fiction books, not gory or sexual true crime books, theres maybe mentions of kissing or mild swearing but nothing harmful or frightening for a 10 year old to hear, mine atleast and as its silent reading and not being read aloud surely its nobodies business what shes reading and it should be mine and her dads decision if its suitable or not for her, not the teachers?
We are going stuggle to find a book aimed at under 10s that she enjoys and I also have know idea how to find out what age rating a book has and surely its just a reccomendation to what age group may enjoy the book not a strict rule?
I can see the benefit of quietly reading at school and definately not one of the many parents who complained when the silent reading was introduced but what benefit is forcing her to read a book that she dosnt enjoy and is below her level? Shouldnt she be encouraged to challenge herself and have an enjoyment for reading not punished?

Do your schools do the same? AIBU to want to challenge this stupid rule?

OP posts:
BlueMirror · 24/02/2018 16:07

Got to feel sorry for teachers when so many would complain that parents don't get to make the school rules because it's THEIR child!

Original poster
upsideup · 24/02/2018 16:10

There will be thousands of books suitable for her.

But the books she is reading ARE suitable for her, just because they are targeted to an older audiance dosnt mean they are unsuitable for her.
Trust me there are many PG films that she finds too scary and will refuse to watch, if the book scared or upset her she wont read, insteas
what she is reading has some mentions of kissing or the word shit which is fine for her, many of the classics (90% of the ones mentioned she has already read anyway) have much more unsuitable themes.

OP posts:
Married3Children · 24/02/2018 16:11

YANBU
The only thing teachers will achieve with that attitude is to put her off reading.

MaisyPops · 24/02/2018 16:12

We wouldn't release a 14+ book from our school library to y7/8 without a note from home saying thry give permission, let alone a 10 year old so y5/6. We can't read every book that comes in so we go off the age recommendations.

From the reviews I've looked up on goodreads there's nothing sexual there but the main romantic relationshiom seems to centering in navigating the friendzone, which isn't really 10 year old content (though i imagine a 10 year old would probably miss that element entirely). A book doesn't have to be sexual or violent to be pitched for teens, they can often make use of more life experience, more empathy than the experiences of a younger child would bring to it. (Again, I'm not saying the book is inappropriate, just suggesting why it might be pitched for 14).

By all means have a chat with the teacher. It's worth doing and seeing if they can have a set up like we have, but please don't go in with the attitude of 'what a stupid rule'. It's an entirely sensible rule to have as standard.

BlueMirror · 24/02/2018 16:12

Some kissing and a swear word would not make it unsuitable for under 14s. Have you actually read the whole book?

Original poster
upsideup · 24/02/2018 16:13

BlueMirror

I'm all for following school rules, I'm all for silent reading in class but when the school rules are punishing my child for being an advanced reader and enjoying reading then I am not going to follow them blindly.

OP posts:
Lucked · 24/02/2018 16:14

I think it is a bit of a stupid rule but there are so many brilliant books that are suitable. I agree above about the classics

My (out of date) suggestions are
swallows and amazons
The wolves of willoughby chase
Ballet shoes

Somerville · 24/02/2018 16:14

Staff can't be expected to check every teen book to check its suitable for within a primary classroom - and some YA fiction is incredibly unsuitable.
So they have to have a policy. You now know where that it, and should send in books that adhere to it. There is so much wonderful 9-12 fiction that it really isn't difficult to find things.

arethereanyleftatall · 24/02/2018 16:15

There must be books which keep both your dd and the teachers happy.

My dd,8, is reading and enjoying the northern lights trilogy atm, any good?

Original poster
upsideup · 24/02/2018 16:16

There is so much wonderful 9-12 fiction that it really isn't difficult to find things.

Shes 10 so only books for 10 and under follow the rule.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 24/02/2018 16:16

YANBU. I was bored stupid by kids’ books by that age. I did enjoy Dickens though. Perhaps classics are the way to go? At her age I was devouring Dennis Wheatley and the Pan Books of Horror, bet that would makevthe teachers’ hair stand on end!

Lucked · 24/02/2018 16:17

It’s not as if they are forcing her to read below her level or Biff and Chip, it’s about content.

MaisyPops · 24/02/2018 16:17

From the author's page:

www.heidiheilig.com/books/

The 1st book in the series 'Girl from Everywhere'
Content warnings: emotional abuse, substance abuse, racial slur, theft of indigenous resources, a Persian character teases a hapacharacter by saying“We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

2nd book in the series The Ship Beyond Time:
Content warnings: emotional abuse, substance abuse, suicidal ideation (secondary character), racism, references to theft of indigenousland

Sorry OP but I've changed my mind. They are not 10 year old themes at all and if the school have just gone on the author's page like i have then i see entirely why they have an issue with it.

Noodledoodledoo · 24/02/2018 16:18

On the reverse side my schools staff book club are currently trying to read some of the YA books to 'ok' them as we have had complaints from parents with students of the correct age taking home YA and it not being appropriate (we are talking 14+ students taking them home!)

McDougalMcPhee · 24/02/2018 16:18

But the books she is reading ARE suitable for her, just because they are targeted to an older audiance dosnt mean they are unsuitable for her.

surely if the books are targeted at 4 years older than her, then they are unlikely to be suitable??

Married3Children · 24/02/2018 16:18

As for the idea of reading classics (bar the fact she has already read a lot of them), I assume that the idea of having an hour reading each week is to encourage children to read.
Forcing them to read stuff they don’t like, whether it is books that are too simple, books that are classics but boring (to the child) etc... ain’t going to help that.

I wouod also be weary about the grading by age.
It’s a bit like films. Some 15yo are, in my books, ok to watch by a 10yo because the issue is mainly swearing (and if you are honest, in less than a year once they are at secondary they will hear much worse). Other films rated 12yo might be very scary etc...

Plus it depends on the child. At that age, dc2 had a reading age of 17yo. Books aimed at 10 yo were boring to him. The challenge was to find books that had the complexity he loved wo the horrible bits you want to avoid. But telling him to read books aimed at a 10yo meant he didn’t read .....

MaisyPops · 24/02/2018 16:20

surely if the books are targeted at 4 years older than her, then they are unlikely to be suitable??
Look at the content warnings I've just posted from the author's own website.
They are not primary school topics for 10 year olds.

when the school rules are punishing my child for being an advanced reader and enjoying reading then I am not going to follow them blindly.
Nobody is punnishing anyone for being an advanced reader, advanced reader means the difficulty of syntax, vocabulary etc, not books about substance abuse and suicide.

Married3Children · 24/02/2018 16:20

surely if the books are targeted at 4 years older than her, then they are unlikely to be suitable??
If the child has a reading age of 14yo and is enjoying the complexity of said books, then yes they ARE likely to be suitable.

Whether a book is suitable or not isn’t just about age.

Amanduh · 24/02/2018 16:20

We had a child bringing in her mums books and another bringing in Twilight books. Then one brought in Bridget Jones and we had several angsty sexual ‘teen’ books. None were suitable so we introduced a blanket rule

RavenWings · 24/02/2018 16:21

You get to decide what she reads at home. At school, the schools rules and policies apply, much as you dislike that.

Send in an appropriate book and she can continue to read this other one at home.

cdtaylornats · 24/02/2018 16:22

I would recommend the Virals series by Kathy & Brandon Reichs
or Eoin Coifer's Artemis Fowl series.

Married3Children · 24/02/2018 16:23

Maisy both my dcs are reading distopian stories at that age. All books would have had similar warnings.
They were still suitable books for them. Some children, just like adults, absolutely love horror stories and arebtotally able to make the difference between a story in a book and real life (fwiw, dc2 use to laugh at such stories saying they were just so improbable that they were actually funny Confused)

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/02/2018 16:24

I get where people are coming from however dd was and still is bored to tears with alot of kids books. She much prefers the more gritty dark, depressing, shit happens to people, kinda books.

Somerville · 24/02/2018 16:25

when the school rules are punishing my child for being an advanced reader

No, the rule is protecting all the children from inappropriate content in the the classroom. There are YA novels with full-on sex scenes. With cutting scenes. With suicide attempts. With sexual assault, racial assaults and child-on-child murder. Staff don't have time to check every YA book, so they stick to those published for 9-12 year olds, or well-established Classics.

And ultimately, If a child can't find any Classic or 9-12's novel or non-fiction book that appeals that is suitable for one hour a week of class silent reading then their reading taste isn't wide and varied - it's too narrow.