Stupid school rule?

[upsideup]

DC's school recently introuduced an hour of silent reading per week, dd absolutely loved this (DS doesn't but it has encouraged him to read more). Untill now they have been taking in a book from home, DD10 who spends hours reading for pleasure anyway takes in the book shes reading at home. I dont choose her books and I am also not strict about what she reads, was already aware that some of the books she enjoys were targeted at an age range slightly above hers.
We have had a letter home saying that dd's book this week was rated as 14+ so is not suitable to be read at school and I should send her in with a book suitable for her age so under 10's as teachers are not going to be closely monitoring what books the children are reading. That is ridiculous right?
She had not told us this all week as shes worried shes in trouble with the teacher but her book was taken off her and she was given a random book from the libary by the teacher which is not the sort of thing she likes and was too 'babyish' for her so she spent the whole lesson doing nothing.
To be clear the books she is reading are young teen fiction books, not gory or sexual true crime books, theres maybe mentions of kissing or mild swearing but nothing harmful or frightening for a 10 year old to hear, mine atleast and as its silent reading and not being read aloud surely its nobodies business what shes reading and it should be mine and her dads decision if its suitable or not for her, not the teachers?
We are going stuggle to find a book aimed at under 10s that she enjoys and I also have know idea how to find out what age rating a book has and surely its just a reccomendation to what age group may enjoy the book not a strict rule?
I can see the benefit of quietly reading at school and definately not one of the many parents who complained when the silent reading was introduced but what benefit is forcing her to read a book that she dosnt enjoy and is below her level? Shouldnt she be encouraged to challenge herself and have an enjoyment for reading not punished?

Do your schools do the same? AIBU to want to challenge this stupid rule?

upsideup

To be honest, I am confused. Hasn't the teacher already provided a list? Is it not that you don't like the list, rather than there is no list?

The other option would be for her to continue reading her school library book in the independent reading sessions.

Pengggwn

No she hasnt provided any list which is what I want to ask her to do, like I said all she has down is told us to find a book that shows up on the american website as voted for 10 and under by american parents.

upsideup

Right, but putting aside for the moment that the site is American, is it not a list?

Otherwise yes, I'd ask her for a list.

Pengggwn

Of sorts yes, but there are thousands of british titles not included on the list, there is no way of knowing which books are more challenging, its only scored by american parents and mainly on american books.
Do you not think that is not an acceptable least? And understand that at them moment it is really difficult for parents to try and follow this rule?
As a teacher would you not be willing to make your own list to help point your more able readers in the direction of books suitable in terms of content but more challenging in language?

I don't think YABU. I had the same problem as a child, I was reading shannara (😍) whilst others in my class were reading the little penguin books. And teachers challenged my DF on that too. DF ended up going to HM and complaining, and I was made an exception to the rule. Only rule was that I was not to be reading any "hardcore" (sex, violence, mental stuff) stuff at school, and that book covers were acceptable.

Later on, I moved abroad at age 11, (away from DF) new school would not allow me to read above my age, and I sadly never picked up a book again. After having read hours upon hours of books of absolutely no interest to me, I started hating reading, and I just gave up.

TBH if my DS were to meet the same at school I would put up a hell of a fight. It is fair for teachers to say don't send DC in to school with erotic novels, or maybe even teen books with no other content than crushes and kissing - But surely you should be able to argue, that as long as content as acceptable, age is absolutely irrelevant.

Has she read Philip Pullman's dark trilogy (sparked from seeing she has read narnia?). I just checked online, and they are rated as being 10+/11+, perhaps that could work as a compromise with DDs teacher? Sorry if it's been mentioned before, haven't read the whole thread!

upsideup

I don't think it is that difficult to follow the rule. There are thousands of books on the list. However, I don't think it is unreasonable either to ask the teacher to look for a British list.

And I do have a list, but it is a list of suggestions, not a list of 'allowed' books. The teacher isn't going to read thousands of books to check for appropriateness; some system of previously collated knowledge is needed if she is going to protect the students as a collective.

Pengggwn

Oh I didnt mean she has to write her own list of 'allowed' books, but a list of books (maybe 10/15) that are suitable for 10 year olds but are challenging, just reccomendations.
I was also going to take in my own list of books I cant find on the website but are relatively well known that I think will be more suitable and ask if she can approve any before hand.

upsideup

That sounds sensible.

but there are thousands of british titles not included on the list, there is no way of knowing which books are more challenging, its only scored by american parents and mainly on american books

I am very uncomfortable with this site being recommended by a teacher in the UK. US sensibilities are not the same the same as UK sensibilities, and I hate to think that teachers in UK schools may be using a site that will undoubtedly have a proportion of reviews from god-fearing, gun-toting bible-bashers to determine what is suitable for British children.

As nooka said above, they tend to be more accepting of violence and less of sex, while blasphemy and ribaldry are taboo for many (how they cope with Shakespeare and Chaucer, I have no idea). So much writing that most here would consider suitable for 9-12 year old readers would have the average mid-westerner having conniptions.

If she enjoyed the Hobbit, definitely get her LOTR but also The Silmarillion, Lost Tales, etc. There is a world of Tolkien material out there.

I Capture the Castle, I am David, Swallows and Amazons all good suggestions. The Book Thief is very good.

And if she enjoyed Narnia, Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength - they're tales of demonic power and possession so don't tell the teacher 😂

This has just reminded me of the books that I started reading when I went away to school at 11 - no parental controls and it was straight into things like Jilly Cooper, Shirley Conran, Stephen King, Agatha Christie and more... I would be horrified if ds (now 12) was to read those

I've just been thinking about what I was reading at 10-12, and it's a bit alarming, tbh: all of Fleming's Bond books and Agatha Christie while still in primary and, early in secondary, Valley of the Dolls, Last Exit to Brooklyn and all of Denis Wheatley's occult novels by 13. Much of my reading was unsupervised, I was off school a lot because of recurrent tonsillitis and so desperate for something to read I just used to go and help myself. (There is a family story that I tried to read the Decameron at 10, but gave it up because the language was "worse than bloody Shakespeare". I suspect that the truth has become embroidered over the years).

I certainly don't think this damaged me in any way, apart from leaving me with a book addiction that I still have 50 years on.

I have a strong memory of picking up some trashy fiction from the book shelf at home and reading it (I must have been about 12) and it was depicting really graphic sex. I can still remember the words - horrible stuff! I really don't think allowing completely unrestricted access to books to non-adults is a good idea, although I wish it was.

I loved Swallows and Amazons and read all of Arthur Ransome, but I'd wonder if it would seem staid or stilted now.

I would try anything by Alan Garner (Weirdstone of Brisingamen, Elidor, The Owl Service etc, all lovely books) and T H White, either just The Sword in the Stone or the whole of The Once and Future King.

TItus Groan is fantastic, but the language is pretty challenging. I read it at 10, and again at 13/14, and I got much more out of it the second time.

I wouldnt want dd reading or watching anything that described sex in graphic detail either although she is aware of the basics I know she wouldnt want to read it and so would put it down. I'm okay with her reading swear words because I know shes mature enough to know she dosnt repeat them, I also know that gentle reference to lots of 'adult topics' are within her understanding. I trust her judgement and maturity to filter books mostly for her self, DS8 on the otherhand not that he would ever want to read a book would happily go for an adult book full of swearwords, sex and violence to laugh at and repeat to his friends.
I think in general a lot of every day life would be rated 12, 15, 18 but we can't hide our children from everything.

Denis Wheatley's occult novels by 13.

Any sex is pretty tame. But my God, the racism .

My DM started me with "The Haunting of Toby Jugg" when I was about 11 or 12. I remember watching "The Devil Rides Out" late night BBC2 aged 12/13.

upsideup

But that's where the tension lies, OP. YOU trust your DD to make those judgements. YOU don't mind her reading oblique references to sex or bad language.

The teacher isn't you. She has her own, separate responsibility to your child and she has to exercise her own judgement. However, she has to do that without the time that you have to have the type of long, in depth discussions that might lead her to draw the same conclusions you do about your DD's capabilities.

Yes, I have now accepted why the teacher has put such rule in place. It's frustrating but I get that ultimately shes trying to do a good thing.

i had this issue in school myself... has she read the classics like Dickens and the Brontes and Austen? I found them grown up enough without older things.

I also love Judy Blume and they are excellent for growing Girls....Forever will have to wait a while though x

I can get that it's difficult at this stage. I read quickly and often have a quick read of dd's books I'm not sure about. There was one recently which I think my daughter would like but also had some sexual awakenings of a boy (basically how he discovered to wank) and I just didn't think was appropriate for her at this stage (year 6). The rest of the book was fine though but I said "wait a couple of years".

Like a lot of the people on here, I read loads of inappropriate sauce and horror when I was 12/13, but there's a big difference developmentally between that and age 10.

I would speak to the teacher - but I'd say "as you know, DD is v. keen on reading, and we want to encourage that, what books do you think would stretch her but also be appropriate for her to read in class?". In our school we get a list of books at the beginning of the year so if DD is stuck for a book to read we sometimes go back to that, she looks at it, reads the synopsis and decides whether she wants to give it a go. Other times she just picks something up based on the cover/blurb.

I have to say - and I'm sure it's been said on this thread already - that just because it's aimed at teens doesn't necessarily mean it stretches their reading ability. In my experience, the teen books are quite punchy, short sentences, lots of dialogues, similar writing style. It's good for people who love reading to really get a sense not just of the story, but of the different ways people write and how they manage to get show not tell etc.

I love books, and so does my DD and I want her to carry on loving them, so I introduce her to loads (she sometimes abandons them) so that she can find her own groove. Poetry is also good for reading in class if she fancies that.

ultimately shes trying to do a good thing.

The road to hell ?

Have you tried any Terry pratchett books? He had a kids range but wee free men count as that (and include some of his most awards winning stuff). His stuff doesn't have any thing risky in and can be really funny.

Some jokes might go over her head as they are too do with tech, political stuff or even just football (there's a football one I didn't get half the jokes).

I was the same at her age and I couldn't take in the true crime novel I was reading and my mum wanted to get me into something more me.