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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect an apology when my son is nearly strangled in a pub play area?

45 replies

tutu100 · 03/05/2007 15:30

I'm really upset so this could be very rambling and ranting but I am so angry. My friend and I took my ds (23 months) and her dd (2 years) to the Mill House pub in Netley, Hampshire (I am naming and shaming) for lunch today. We chose to go there as they have an indoor ball play area so we thought it would be nice for the kids. We get there and to start off with the fire doors at the back of the pub are open in the play area allowing kids to run out and get into the car park or on the main road which had a 60 mile speed limit as none of the locks on the outside gates work. So we shut the doors and let our children play. We have only been there a short while when my son ran round a little dark area of the play area and as he started running towards me I see a long loop of string hanging from the ceiling, and before I could do anything his head had gone through the loop and the string pulled tight and started to choke him. Luckily I was in there in seconds and he was ok although very upset and with a red mark round he neck. When my friend complained to the manager there was no apology, he just cut down the string and said that the play area had been checked that day and it was fine when it was checked.

Oh so that makes it ok that my son could have been chocked to death then! I am so upset thinking about what could have happened if I hadn't been watching ds. The staff didn't seem bothered at all by how serious an incident it could have been. We stayed for our food as we'd already ordered but I had lost my appetite and my friend couldn't eat her meal because it wasn't cooked very well. So if you ever want to eat there beware the food and watch your kids like hawks if they go in the play area. I have complained to the company on their menu, I will let you know what response I get.

OP posts:

boyslovegranny · 03/05/2007 15:32

I think it's the sad times we live in - if they say sorry they are probably admitting some kind of liability and you may sue them.

bozza · 03/05/2007 15:32

tutu and Is it a chain? If so, I think you should write to the head office explaining the situation and the manager's response.

Stigaloid · 03/05/2007 15:33

That is disgraceful! You should have told them you could sue on health and saftey grounds. The owed you an apology and a free meal!

YANBU!

powder28 · 03/05/2007 15:34

think you need to report this and take it further.

catsmother · 03/05/2007 15:34

Call the local paper - they love stories like this.

Ladymuck · 03/05/2007 15:44

I can understand why you're upset, but to be honest if that appeared in my local paper I would be questioning the idea that any pub is an ideal location for a 2yo on a lovely May day.

If they had charged you for the use of the soft play area then I guess you'd have more of a compliant.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2007 15:49

You went to a pub and expected them to have measures in place to keep kids from running out in the road?

'I am so upset thinking about what could have happened if I hadn't been watching ds.'

Yes, because that is your job, not the pub staff's. They are not registered childminders and babysitters.

The play area is provided as a courtesy to customers with children.

But people like you make pub owners increasingly get rid of facilities like that.

And I can't say I blame them.

Want to go out and drink and not have to look after your kids?

Then pay a sitter and leave them at home.

sandyballs · 03/05/2007 15:51

Bit harsh isn't it! If a pub provides play areas they should ensure they are child friendly and safe. I agree parents need to keep a close eye on them but there still shouldn't be lengths of rope hanging from ceilings and unlocked doors. I wouldn't expect this if I specifically went to a pub that caters for children in this way - and where you usually suffer on the quality of food because of it.

sandyballs · 03/05/2007 15:53

Ladymuck - she's not suggesting she spent the entire day in the pub getting pissed out her brains with her child . She met a friend for a bit of lunch and chose somewhere child-friendly (allegedly). They may have spent all morning outside and the rest of the afternoon for all you know.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 15:54

You're wrong in this case, Expat. It was a child's play area so the OP could reasonably expect it not to have a noose hanging at child--head height.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2007 15:57

Sorry, but I don't agree, Soupy.

I think it's a parents responsiblity to ensure their own child's safety to the best of their ability at all times.

Accidents can and do happen and you can't expect the staff to police it 24/7. It's entirely possible that length of rope had been left there after the last time the play area had been checked.

The other day, a child playing on her own in a council-operated playground was accidentally hanged by a length of rope left on a climbing frame by other children and used as a makeshift swing. .

It hadn't been there the last time the park was checked.

powder28 · 03/05/2007 15:58

Hmmm, not sure who I agree with now.....

vimfuego · 03/05/2007 16:00

It would be helpful to know what the string was for, i.e. how it got there in the first place.

LucyJones · 03/05/2007 16:02

agree with soupdragon. I think Expat and Ladymuck are being very harsh. Surely we can go and sit in a child friendly pub and eat a meal without some smug person saying 'oh go outside on a lovely May Day' (sorry paraphasing). How smug is that? Kids still need to eat and so do we. Do you lot never enjoy yourselves and look after your kids fgs

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 16:03

Yes, it is a parents responsiblity to ensure their own child's safety to the best of their ability at all times but it is also the responsibility of the business providing the play facilities to ensure they comply with health and safety. Which a hanging noose would not. I think that the "It wasn't there when the play area was checked" is a load of b*llocks TBH.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2007 16:05

Of course I do, Lucy.

Even in pubs.

But they're not play centres or nurseries.

The play area is there as a courtesy.

Pub could easily take it out and make money off the beer garden, especially once the smoking ban comes into effect.

I still keep a close eye on my kids.

That's part of the deal. And yes, that means it's often not as enjoyable as when I go out at lunch with a work colleague and no kids, or when SIL watches the girls and DH and I go out on our own.

But that's how it is.

You can't expect pub staff to run a bar and mind your kids as well.

They check play areas on a timed basis same as they do the toilets, and in the interim people come in and use the play area and toilets.

Things happen then.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 16:05

Especially as in a lot of soft play areas, adults are not allowed on the equipment. DS2 (then 2) got through an unzipped portion of the netting round a soft play area and then got stuck between the equipment and the wall. It was, apparently, my fault because i wasn't supervising him except I wasn't supervising him in the play area beacause I wasn't allowed in the play area...

goodnanny · 03/05/2007 16:05

agree with expat im afraid.Its your duty to watch your child, not the pub's.

powder28 · 03/05/2007 16:06

Am agreeing with soupdragon and Lucyjones. Am agreeing also that you have to watch your kids constantly and not rely on a pub to ensure a play area has no hazards.
So am agreeing with everyone all round. Safest bet i reckon.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 16:06

"You can't expect pub staff to run a bar and mind your kids as well." No one's blimmin well expecting that at all are they??

LucyJones · 03/05/2007 16:06

No one is saying the barstaff should be looking after the kids expat. We're just saying that if they provide a play area they have to comply with health and safety. Just as if they supply a pub garden they can't leave broken glass on the grass.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2007 16:07

'You should have told them you could sue on health and saftey grounds.'

And suing people over what might have happened?

Well, hey, ever been to America and seen what sue-happiness has done to their society?

It isn't pleasant and you'd be drinking coffee in Starbucks from now till Doomsday before you found a place licensed to sell alcohol that will allow kids playgrounds around it.

LucyJones · 03/05/2007 16:08

I agree with you on the suing thing though,

Freckle · 03/05/2007 16:08

Contact the Health and Safety Executive. OK the pub isn't obliged to provide a play area, but the fact is that they do so they should ensure that it is safe. A length of rope hanging from the ceiling (and obviously fixed as otherwise it would simply have been pulled down by the OP's son when he ran into it) should not be there and the management should be looking into how it got there and put measures in place to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Of course parents should keep an eye on their children, but it is ridiculous to suggest that a mother cannot glance away for even a second or be held responsible for neglecting her child's safety.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2007 16:09

Oh, I don't think they should sue. I hate the whole sueing culture that seems to be springing up. I do however think you can reasonably expect a soft play area not to have a noose hanging in it. If the pub provides these facilities, it is their job to ensure they are safe.

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