to ask what makes a good mum

[beclev24]

I spend so much of my life feeling that I'm not doing a good enough job as a mother, and second guessing all my choices/ decisions and wondering why it seems so hard so much of the time.

What do you think makes a good mother? Obviously loving your kids and providing care/ food / shelter etc, but what else on a day to day level?

Being kind
Not being a dick.

fraiser yeah- that makes sense. but then I always second guess myself- ie on kindness- is it kinder to let your kid have what they want in the moment, or be firmer/ stricter with them in the hopes that they will turn into better people later on etc.

I don't know why I find it so difficult tbh!

Perspective and pragmatism.

For me, I consider myself a good mum if:

My children are shown love
Shown boundaries
Supported with emotions
Supported with school work
Fed nutritious food but without being preachy, they're allowed treats too.
Showing interest in their interests
Effort to take them out for fresh air
Allow them to relax
Converse with them
Be honest

There's a few probably more, and obviously some are required/possible everyday

mrsknackered that's a good list. It actually makes me feel better because I do do a lot of those...(though the showing interest in their interests thing can be a struggle at the moment when DS1 is going through a major star wars obsession!)

I think it’s the ability to put your kids needs first when necessary.

I asked a child psychologist this once. She said just take an interest in them!
Leave them free to play, then wander past and ask what they're doing
I thought "cool, I can do that"

I don’t think there’s only “one way” to be a good parent. I parent completely differently from my friend but we are both “good Mums”.

I try to be:

Consistent
Strict
Honest
Actively listening
Their champion and cheering section
Fun

Lots of things but mostly patience.

Creating a joyful environment
Kindness
Being in the moment with them

Making sure they have a home they feel safe and secure.
Helping them reach their potential. Having fun with them. Making sure I spend quality time with them. Looking after their basic care, clean clothes, grooming ect. Being their biggest cheerleader. Saying sorry to them when I get it wrong.

Put the kids first
Show them love

Lots of love and cuddles, consistency, boundaries and positive attention.