Birthday Celebrations

7 replies

Rockybulldozer · 24/02/2018 00:38

So, OH and I have a little one who is 6, we both work full time in pretty busy jobs so shattered by Friday, OHs birthday is next week.
Tonight OH was going out for a few pints with ‘the lads’ he does this about once a month, usually about 3 or 4 of them go out. He’s just returned, later than usual, full of glee about how many people had been out (including couples we both know), how he didn’t have to buy a drink all evening as after all it was his birthday and they were all out to celebrate ... AIBU to be more than a little upset that this didn’t include me and at no point was I even invited? When I pointed this out the response was a huff and that I couldn’t have gone out because of (gesture in general direction of sons bedroom). We’ve been married for 15 years, guess I’m now ‘her indoors’!!!

OP posts:

UpstartCrow · 24/02/2018 00:39

Yadnbu. Did anyone ask after you?

Snowysky20009 · 24/02/2018 00:42

Ouch. I would have been well annoyed/upset.

NewSingleMummy · 24/02/2018 00:43

I would be annoyed/ upset too

Original poster

Rockybulldozer · 24/02/2018 00:45

I have no idea, when I pointed out that ‘everyone’ was out except me I got the huff (big sigh) indication towards son’s bedroom and he’s now asleep on the sofa. To be honest I might leave him there!!!

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frasier · 24/02/2018 00:47

When is your birthday OP? It's going to be BIG this year right? I'm thinking a weekend away with your friends...

ReanimatedSGB · 24/02/2018 00:51

Do you know whether he actually planned to make his fairly regular drinks-with-friends into more of a party, or if it was spontaneous?
And do you have friends or family nearby who would have been willing to babysit, particularly at short notice?

If he planned it and didn't tell you, that suggests a conscious choice in his part to exclude you from his birthday party because you are 'her indoors'.
If it just happened to be the case that more people than usual turned up in the pub and someone mentioned that it was his birthday so it turned into something of a party, would you have been able to get someone to mind DC if he had called or texted to say, Hey, Rocky, this is turning into quite the big night out, do you want to come and join us?

If you think, or know, that he set all this up so that he could party without his dull wifey there then YANBU and he's a prick. If it was a spontaneous thing and you probably could have got a babysitter, he's a bit thoughtless. If it was spontaneous and he knows perfectly well that there was no way you could come because no one would have been able to babysit then YABU, sorry.

But, if he gets to go out with friends once a month, what do you get in the way of a social life? Does he look after DC sometimes so that you get to spend time with your friends?

Original poster

Rockybulldozer · 24/02/2018 01:13

ReanimatedSGB a bit of a combination of the second and third option really, tbf he didn’t go out until late so probably wouldn’t have liked to have asked anyone to spontaneously babysit. He was intending to go out for a few birthday drinks with the lads, just more people were out (actually, thinking about it suppose it’s probably pay day for some). I think it might have gone down better if he’d acknowledged ‘oh it’s a shame you weren’t there... etc!’ Ah well, we’ve both had a long week so going to put the bottom lip away now and go to bed (he has made it from the sofa to upstairs - not that seems drunk, just tired!) Thanks all

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